It’s about 5 O’Clock in the afternoon. I’m chatting to a certain person on the phone, when Miss M appears beside me, tugs on my arm and says very loudly;

Miss M: “Mummy, Daddy is wearing your pants.”

Me: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

Holl: “Snort, I’m blogging that.”

Kids, don’t you just love ‘em?

Please note: He wasn’t, I promise.

Sorry I’m getting a bit behind on reading everybody. We are a sick house at the minute, Miss M has the cough from hell, Miss E has a throat and ear infection as well as a bad flair up of her eczema and I have a bad throat and cold. All this means I’m on about 4 hours sleep a night for the last two nights and flagging.
Mr B is just recovered from a sickness bug and keeping well away so I am kna**ered to say the least.

I’ll be back soon to tell you all about my new diet…, and I must blog those things you gave me Holl, you know, the slimy ones??

This weeks Fun Monday comes from the fabulous Sauntering Soul.

She says, ‘Come on, it’s confession time! List the small things you do that make you a jerk ad elaborate just a little bit on each one. Please tell me I’m not the only jerk around here!’

I like this.

Because I have many jerk like qualities.

1. I am so untidy.
If I start tidying my girls ask “Who’s coming Mummy?”

Part of it is that I like ’stuff’. I like to have it around me, and I don’t tend to actually see the room as a whole but just the bits I need. Occassionally the veil lifts and I have an enormous tidy up to the point of ruthless abandonment of once cherished items of tat. This never lasts for long though. I think I’m kind of comfortable with clutter. I love the way my house looks when it’s tidy, but it doesn’t feel as warm and cosy as I think it should.

Mr B unfortunately is less enamoured of the ’stuff’ so this causes a few problems.

2. I forget that time moves forward.
I try to fit so much into my day that even if I know I need to be out of the house by 8.30am I always try ad do just one more thing. While I’m rarely late for stuff it does tend to me that I go out make-up free and do my face at traffic lights, or my kids hair gets brushed on the way to school. I also plan a little ambitiously and then don’t achieve what I wanted to. Boo.

3. I have a really bad temper. It takes a while for me to get mad, but when I do it gets explosive and I shout. I hate that I do that but it’s just a part of me I need to keep working on.

4. I get tunnel vision. If I’m on a task then that’s all I see so other stuff gets neglected. This goes with the forgetting that time moves forward thing. It’s not good.

5. And I am a jerk for not making my list longer and preparing in advance. Miss E is poorly with a really bad earache so I have to go and tuck her into bed now.

If I get chance I will add more stuff tomorrow, but for now this is as jerky as I get as I have to be a none jerk and go look after my little girl.

Brill topic Sauntering Soul. Can’t wait to read all your jerky habits. I’m sure it will make me add to my list.

I have installed an interesting application - BlogJet. It’s a cool Windows client for my blog tool (as well as for other tools). Get your copy here: http://blogjet.com

“Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.” — Albert Einstein

Fun Monday is down below people.  I’m just having a play with blogjet to see if it solves some of my youtube problems.

So I’ve added a song, let’s see if I can also add a picture…

Right.

The moment of truth…

And can I edit??

Fingers crossed…

Now I just need to see if I’ve managed to add a space under the youtube clip.

It’s amazing the stuff you can buy in Schmesco these days.

I had to buy this as a homage to the Homely Ferret which you can read about here and see Miss M showcasing here just in case you missed it. It tasted alright, kind of like a Mansfield Bitter, which they no longer make. Mr B polished it off as I preferr the Grolsch we already had in the fridge.

Then I picked up one of these.

It was two for one but I decided one was enough.

And I carried them all home in my lovely Schmesco ladybird bag.

Oh, and I have to tell you about my book bargains, knowing that most of you are book lovers too.

Look…

Seven books for just £3.50 which is about the equivalent of $1.75 I think.

UPDATE  Derrr, what was my brain doing yesterday?  Here I am after 4 hours sleep, yes four hours folks, lucky me, and I read all your comments and thought, ‘Jo, have you gone mad?’, of course £3.50 is about $7.00.  I knew this I promise, I just didn’t know it when I wrote this part of the post, just during that minute.  Scary isn’t it?

Anyway, cough, £3.50, that’s 50p a book, people! They normally cost around 10 times that much for one,and they came from my local PDSA shop so that money was going to charity too. Result.

So I have this warm and fuzzy feeling inside and a big smug grin on my face. I do love me a good literary bargain.

Have a fab Sunday.

I’m checking through Miss E’s homework. She has this list of words from which she needs to pick 12 and use them in a sentence. Some of them are kind of unusual and a little old fashioned, especially when you consider this is a piece of work aimed at 7 and 8 year olds.

For example ‘misplace’ or ‘exclaim’.

“One misplaces one’s driving gloves constantly.” she exclaimed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the expansion of my child’s vocabulary, but there are other words she could probably do with learning first. Like ‘frangipane’, or ‘nunchuck’.

So I scan through her choices and she’s done great. She’s picked words she’s heard of or might use, or gone for interesting ones that she’s discussed with Mr B and seems to understand.

As I get to number 7, I stop.

I read it again,

I giggle.

I pass it to Mr B who reads it, grins back, one eyebrow raised and mutters,

“Very good, yeah. Great use of the word ‘explode’, snort.”

Then I scan through the rest, grinning to myself at my kid’s interesting statement.

I am so proud.

Today I thought I had it. The money shot, the shot I have hoped for and hankered after for the past 2 years, ever since the gerbil tank moved into the computer area on top of the scanner.

NB. The scanner doesn’t actually work anymore, but if it isn’t there the tank will not fit and I have no idea where it would go otherwise. Anyway, I have this idea in my head that Flora the gerbil would miss my big pink face looming over her as I whisper coochy coos through the glass. You’d miss that right?

So, for the past year (it’s my blogaversary in 12 days, I can’t believe it!!) Flora and I have been silent but comfortable companions for a couple of hours pretty much every day.

In the wee small hours when Misses E and M are in bed and Mr B is snoring, we have little conversations.
Well, ok, I have little imagined conversations with her.

Me: “Hi Flora. How are you today my little furry friend?”

Flora: “I’m fine and dandy Jo. I can’t find my telly remote again, but otherwise I’m happy as a bucket of clowns.”

Flora: “Did you see that James Nesbitt thing on the telly the other night?”

Me: “Yeah, I quite fancy him.”

Flora: “Me too.”

So anyway, about once a week as I sit beside my little rodent buddy, something happens that just totally cracks me up. I have no idea why, but it just makes me giggle to myself every time. When Mr B asks what I’m laughing at, I tell him and he gives me that, ‘you’re weird and have the sense of humour of an ironing board’ kind of look, which just makes me laugh even more.

I think sometimes that scares him a bit.

I have wanted this shot for soooo long that I even told Holl about it as she sat in my computer chair and tried to sort my youtube issues out for me and she laughed. You did laugh didn’t you Holl? And I think it was with me not at me…

So what is it that I find so funny?

What is it that I have tried time and time again to capture, sitting with my camera at the ready, trying to move fast enough to get the shot yet not so fast that she runs into her tunnel and hides?

Are you ready?

Da daaaaaaaaaaaa.

Sorry….

Corey’s right, I must have been very, very erm, tired.

But it still makes me laugh.  Maybe I need to take something??

Oh, and as I was in the first 5 to comment on Sweet Irene’s site yesterday I got to do this meme. All you have to do is answer each question with a single word…

Where is your mobile phone? - charging
You significant other? - vomiting
Your hair? - frizzy
Your mother? - car
Your father? - work
Your favourite thing? - holidays
Your dream last night? - weird
Your favourite drink? - free
Your dream/goal? - authorship
The room you are in? - kitchen
Your ex? - hairy
Your fear? loss
Where you want to be in six years?- healthier
Where were you last night?- bed
What you’re not? - penguin
Muffins? - please
One of your wish items - debtless
Where you grew up - Mansfield
The last thing you did - read
What are you wearing - clothes??
Your TV? - old
Your pets - gerbil
Your Computer? - love
Your life - good
Your mood - calm
Missing someone - gran
Your car - grubby
Something you’re not wearing - sombrero
Favourite Store - Pier
Your summer - now??
Like someone? - yes
Your favourite colour? - changes
When was the last time you laughed? - today
When was the last time you cried? -hormones

And if you want to play then that’s fine by me. But you have to laugh at my gerbil.

Miss M: “Mummy, can my have a giant Esther.”

Me: “Pardon babe?”

Miss M: “My want a giant Esther please.”

Me: “A what? Who’s Esther M? What do you want?”

Miss M: “My want a GIANT ESTHER.”

Me: “Erm…”

She frowns at me in that withering way three year olds do, then drags me into the kitchen.

Miss M: “My want to eat a giant Esther Mummy. Up there. Like Granny.”

Me: “Ahhhhhhh.”

Digestive/Giant Esther.

Almost exactly the same.

Day two of the fabulous blog meet and we went to Starbucks.

I have had Starbucks coffee brought to me before. I am like the queen in that way, people bring me stuff (hee hee), so I knew it was good, but I don’t think I’ve ever sat down in the above mentioned establishment and ordered my own drink using the correct lingo, and supped from an over large mug inside its hallowed walls.

It was good. Pricey, but good.

We went upstairs where it was relatively empty and we were able to chat while the kids had some freedom. Mr B, Miss E and Miss M had driven up that morning to meet us and it was time for cake, coffee and a taste of Holl’s skinny chai hazelnut yummy iced thingy. (I’m sure that’s what it was called.)
Belle joined us about half an hour later and we chatted more and the kids played and we ate oreos the proper way.

And the thrower had a quiet reflective moment.

And then Miss E and QofH borrowed our cameras and got all creative. That shows how much I wanted to chat, I actually let a 7 year old run off with my pride and joy and take her own series of interesting and artistic shots. As I viewed them later in Picasa, I noticed a theme…

I think she wanted us to look at the tables.

And ok, I admit it part of me thought, ‘Hmmmm, my kid is a little weird. But another part of me thought, ‘That’s weird but I like it.’ And they are pretty cool tables and I probably wouldn’t even have noticed them if Miss E hadn’t invited me to look.

We did have a little chat about the really amazing pictures you can make when you shake mummy’s camera.

But even those were kind of cool.

As time passed and the kids started trying to escape we realized the time was nearing to take our leave, so with heavy hearts and full tummies we made our way out into the rainy street and said our goodbyes.

Until next time.

And there will definitely be a next time.

The great British blog meet?

What can I say?

You know how when you blog, and you make friends and you feel like you know them?

And you know how when you talk about them to the people physically present on a day to day basis in your life, they look at you like you’re mad?

And they say stuff like, “They’re not real you know?”

or,

“They might be serial killers.”

Well, Holly and Belle are definitely not serial killers as far as I can tell, and they are definitely real. I know, I hugged them.

When Holl arrived at my house on Saturday that was the first thing we did, big squeezy hugs that were just so lovely and happy.

Then we introduced our kids to each other and they ambled shyly into my house, out the back door and onto the trampoline…

And we stayed there pretty much all day, the kids playing, and me and Holl chatting and laughing and chatting some more.

They ate food for just a couple of minutes, then returned to the jumping.

The Thrower (3) threw quite a lot. No really he did, hee hee, and Miss M (3) was good at ducking (only joking.) They were so cute together and just kind of watched each other for a bit and smiled cheekily.

Queen of Hearts (8) was lovely and charming and she and Miss E (7) got on so well there were nearly tears when it was time for us to leave (and they weren’t for me.)

Seriously, we chatted so much we took only a handful of pictures, and I managed to leave the house and travel to Brum in my pink flip flops that usually get no further than my front door. (So sad.)

In a car park at Schmesco we were joined by Belle, and again went off with the hugs. She is the loveliest kindest, coolest person, and QofH and The Thrower were obviously very happy to see her which is always a big tell in my book.

When we attempted to get food at Holl’s digs we were thwarted by the fact we had kids under 14 and it was after 8.00pm which was kind of annoying as the kids were staying IN the Travel Lodge so you’d think they’d be catered for right? Wrong. So we ordered our own style of room service…

..which somehow ended up being copious amounts of garlic bread - and we weren’t even drunk then.

And for dessert, homemade chocolate mouse covered in chocolate buttons made by Belle’s fair hands. Blimey that was soooooooo good. Recipe needed Belle. Slurp.

Having misplaced our cocktail list before we got to Schmesco, we went for, well, bright colours, so our evening beverages were INteresting. It’s funny how in nature the brighter something is the more dangerous/poisonous it is. Not the case with cocktails.

In fact Blue Caraco, Malibu and orange make for a lovely green affair that tastes amazing, as does the same mixture with coke or Dr Pepper Zero. Who knew?

We also went for a lovely orange shaded thing called Glayva, but it turned out to be whiskey so we left it well alone. Whiskey just does not mix with blue things.

Although this one here keeps cuddling up to that Blue Caraco no matter what I do. Tsk.

At 11pm our time, with The Thrower tucked up in bed fast asleep, and Queen of Hearts snoozing with headphones and a dvd, the great blogmeet podcast began.

It was drunken, it was hilarious (to us anyway :)) and it was live chat with Cami and Mr Kaos in Portland, Oregon. Who could wish for a more perfect end to a perfect evening?

Sighhhh.

The Captain came to collect lovely Belle at 1.00am and dropped me at my Innkeepers Lodge (we couldn’t get in the same one this time), and I slept the sleep of the innocent.

Ok, the sleep of the drunk and the innocent.

Oh it was soooo good.

And tomorrow I will bring you more, including an interesting trip into photographic art by Miss E.

Kitten is our lovely host today and she has asked us to blog about our real life heroes.

I’ve recently written two posts about my real life hero, my Gran. I lost her when I was eleven years old but her influence has and will be life long. This is the second of those posts. I think it’s right for today, so sorry if you read it before.

This is her in her Guider’s uniform. She was a Brown Owl.

My Gran Booth was one of those people who radiated warmth. People knew her and loved her. She was someone they greeted with a smile, made time for, were pleased to see.I think part of her appeal was that she was just a completely genuine person. She had no agenda, saw the best in everyone and I don’t think I ever saw her truly angry.

She ran the church Brownie pack which meant I kind of had to share her a little as all my friends knew her and loved her too, but she made sure me and my sister and brothers felt special. We knew she was ours and we were hers.

As I grew older I was not a very confident child, but when I was with her I was lively, cheeky, talkative and completely myself. There was no other adult in my life that I was able to be that carefree with and I cherished her. If I was ever naughty she just had to give me ‘that look’ and I would be desperate to make amends, but then she would smile and I knew I was forgiven and the cloud would lift.

I lost my Gran when I was eleven years old. I talked recently about the last time I saw her in this post.
This had quite a devastating affect on me in many ways. Don’t get me wrong, I come from a loving family, but I always felt my Gran understood me a little bit more and that we were very similar. We looked alike, we were both a little on the chubby side, we laughed and sneezed loudly and often took people under our wings if we felt they were a little bit lost or low.

For so many years after she died I felt a little piece of me was gone too. I was so angry that I hadn’t known her as an adult. I wondered about what made her laugh, what made her cross, what her politics were.
I felt cheated, wounded, and bit by bit I felt her slipping away more and more.

This left me with such an empty feeling, and also guilt because I mustn’t have loved her enough, otherwise I wouldn’t feel so far away from her. I was losing her again but I didn’t know how to get her back.

Recently though,when I began writing my book I found her again. It wasn’t that I’d consciously based the gran in my story on her, but as I wrote a scene where my 11 year old main character had her nose powdered by her gran, I smelt the powder, and I remembered watching my gran putting her powder on and asking why.

Gran: “Because ladies don’t like their faces to be shiny”, she replied, dabbing a little on my freckled nose and holding her compact up for me to see. I remember thinking how funny that was, and how my shiny kids nose looked much nicer but I didn’t say as I didn’t want to make her sad.

In that moment, when I read over my words, I knew she was still with me. Because even if I forget events, places, her voice, I could never forget her presence, her smell and the way she made me feel.

Now click on Ktten’s link and you’ll see the other Fun Monday participants in her sidebar. Go and check out their real life heroes. I’m sure you won’t regret it.

Also, if you want to hear the very drunken part of our great British blog meet, then go visit the gorgeous and talented and extremely funny Cami Kaos to hear Cami and the delectable Mr Kaos, Belle, Holly and me being very silly, a little bit cheeky, occasionally rude and very, very drunk. It is ‘epic win’.

(Picture courtesy of Cami xxxxx)

Have a fab day dudes, and more on the blog meet tomorrow.