Ok, might sound a bit weird this, but I think it’s a valid question, (in a kind of tongue in cheek way.)
Can Satellite Navigation Systems break small children?
Why on earth would I pose such a question?
Well, this is the scenario. E, M, myself and Mr B are driving to Derby to pick up some stuff for Mr B’s work. Will Young is playing on the radio (how subtle was that Ingenious Rose), it’s a bit drizzly and M is demanding Fruit Flakes every 3rd minute.
The girls haven’t heard the Sat’ Nav’ much because Mr B usually has the car as he has to be mobile for his job, so me and the girls use buses, our feet or my mum.
In fact the only time they’ve heard it is when we first got it and it was a novelty to use it just to get to the local shop or petrol station. E thought it was hilarious that instead of saying, “destination on the right,” when it got to our house, it would encourage us to go further up the hill, turn right into the quarry and stop there.
So, as we arrived in Derby and began winding our way through the duel carriage ways, round abouts and traffic lights, when we discovered we had a little echo in the back.
When Mrs Sat Nav said, “In 400 yards turn left.”
Miss M Beaufoix said, “400 yar turn yeft.”
When Mrs Sat Nav said, “At the round about take the third exit.”
Miss M Beaufoix said, “Ranabout take fir zit.”
By the time we got to our destination M could say ‘left’ and ‘right’ like a proffessional and had even picked up the intonation of our darlek like guide.
We found it really funny , but then it hit me.
Oh my God, what if she talks like this forever?
M: “In the next five minutes I will need to use the bathroom on the right.”
M”In 1 metre I would like you to open the cupboard and take out a Fruit Shoot and some Hoola Hoops.”
How scary would that be?
If she hears the Sat Nav regularly will we elimate all the warmth, tone and character from her voice?
Is that what happens to horse racing commentators?
Will her only career choice be that of the person who does the speaking clock?
Or those annoying messages on busy phonelines who tell us,
“SORRY, ALL OUR OPERATORS ARE BUSY RIGHT NOW. PLEASE HOLD AND YOUR CALL WILL BE CONNECTED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE” ?
Mr B just laughed and said we should get one of those sarcastic sounding versions that tuts and harumphs at you when you go the wrong way, but I think that would just give me an inferiority complex, and lets face it, in about 10 or 12 years E and M will be giving me one of those anyway, without any help from a blumming machine .
Blimey, progress!
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May 29th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Another very funny blog entry Ms Beaufoix and the best link I’ve seen on a blog in years (I refer of course to Mr Will Young, musical genius and great performer – did I mention I’ve seen him in concert?) Miss M Beaufoix continues to be a little star! She could have a career as a voice recording, but have you thought of putting the Sat Nav into French? She could learn a new language and travel at the same time – it’s a whole new advert for Lingaphone! I should go into marketing! Of course it would only work if the driver understood fluent French but I know you’re a cultured lot so it won’t be a problem! They say to teach them a second language when they are young. Ingenious Junior (aged 3)is perfecting her Russian at ther moment. She insisted on learning a third language on top of English and Chinese so I gave in. Any more than that though would just be showing off!
May 29th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
What a fantastic idea.
I can vaguely remember my direction on French directions…
tout droit – straight on
tournez a droite – turn right
tournez a gauche – turn left
Montre dehors pour cet arbre! – Watch out for that tree.
Wow, now la famille Beaufoix can all become multilingual.
Glad Ingenius Junior is perfecting her Russian, English and Chinese. I wouldn’t want her to look silly at Nursery.
May 29th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Ooh, get you, all francais in the comments. Tres bien mon ami!
Anyway, just wanted to say that my sat nav has become my bestest friend. We go on fantastic adventures together. Though sometimes we fall out because she can be a right bossy cow!
May 29th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Will Young. A bit drizzly? Very drizzly would be a better description don’t you think…
May 30th, 2007 at 2:09 am
All this talk of Will Young makes think that with his meteoric rise to fame and his undoubted and “deserved” success, why does he always have such a long face. Aaaahhh, the old ones are the best. Regardez le singe dans la brouette. Ah je suis une fenêtre de la langue.
May 30th, 2007 at 4:09 am
Can we start a ‘Kill Will Bloody Young!’ blog? Think of the traffic . . .
May 30th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Soeli
I am relieved that my sat nav will become a mate. Must be really annoying arguing with her though, what with her not answering back.
Maybe they should invent an ‘argumentative mode’ one so you can get rid of a load of stress and then get home all calm and relaxed.
Then again, husbands are quite good at that too.
Hmmm, they’re not so good at directions though.
Ashley, you so made me laugh when I realised that I’d kind of said that Will Young was a bit drizzly. I hope Ingenious Rose won’t be too mad at me.
Napoleon, don’t worry, this is not going to become a fan site.
Ingenious Rose, I’m sorry, but Will Young has definitely not won todays debate. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind though as he’s such a nice young man.
May 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Yes, he is. A very, very nice man. Apparently
May 30th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Well, glad we’ve got that sorted then…