Yesterday our neigbour died.
He was 68, a warm and friendly man, who gave his time generously and always wore a smile.
He was one of those people who thought very carefully about what he said, who had vast amounts of life experience that would just come up unceremoniously in conversation every now and then and blow you away.
Like his time in Korea,
Like his memories of being a school inspector before the horrors of OFSTED.
He was a man who seemed to come from gentler times, when people spoke quietly, had good manners and cared for other people.
He was incredibly wise, incredibly respectful and unjudging, and just a lovely, lovely man.
His death was not expected and we are all reeling.
He became a grandad for the first time 4 months ago and I was so excited for him and his wife because I knew they would be the best grandparents. I told them that. I’m glad I did.
He often sat outside with our old cat Myron on summer’s days watching the wildlife in the area at the bottom of his garden he had left just for them.
When Myron became ill a few months ago he came to visit.
When Myron died, he told me he had ’shed a little tear’ and that if I needed to talk he was there.
Now he’s gone, so quickly and so quietly.
Miss E, aged 6 said to me,
E: “Mummy is he just skin and bones now?”
Me: “Yes sweetie, he’s in heaven now.”
E: “He’s up there in his garden with Myron on his knee.”
Me: “I’m sure you’re right babe.”
I couldn’t hold back a few tears. I don’t like to cry infront of my kids but sometimes you can’t help it, and I think it’s good for them to see that it’s ok to be sad.
E looked at me all worried, put her hand on my knee and said,
E: Don’t cry mummy, anyway, 3 neighbours are better than none.”
And I just laughed and hugged her and wiped my tears and held her tight.
Ahh kids, don’t you just love ‘em.
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July 16th, 2007 at 11:17 am
So sad about the neighbor and the cat… I have had both happen, and it’s touching. I bet he is somewhere lovely now, and that cat is by his side. Why not believe good things like that? So, I do…
July 16th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Thanks Susan.
We’re just so shocked.
He was there, happy, healthy, alive, and now he’s gone.
I’m sure he’s somewhere lovely too.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:24 am
she is so terribly sweet. What a lovely thing to share with us, and I’m sorry for your loss Jo.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Thanks CamiKaos.
I think it really helped to write this.
And aren’t kids just the best thing to make you feel better when you’re feeling low?
July 16th, 2007 at 11:54 am
So sorry to hear about your neighbor. It sounds like he was a wonderful person. And I love your daughter’s perspective. What an insightful little girl!
July 16th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Thanks bellevelma.
He was amazing, and my little girl is the best.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I always think it’s awful when someone like you describe dies … such a loss to everyone.
Your wee lassie does sound like the best though, you must be very proud.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
That’s just how it feels Alasdair.
And I am so proud of my little girl.
Thank you.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Bless little Miss E. The upside of sad times like this is that it provides the opportunity to face these sort of difficult topics with children. Sounds like Miss E dealt with it really well. A sign of an emotionally strong child and good parents. (But if she had fallen apart you would still be good parents!)
July 16th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Thanks IR.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Have a big hug from me, Jo. I’m sure you’ll be a great comfort to your neighbours wife – they sound like lovely people and that was a fantastic tribute you have written about him. If only all neighbours could be as lovely as that…
July 16th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Oh, dear, sorry to hear about your neighbour, Jo, and I can certainly sympathise about your cat. The little ones always seem to have a good outlook on things. When my husband’s step-grandfather died, TFYO went around telling everyone it was okay, because he was with Puck and Grimmy (our deceased cats) and they were all playing in a field now. It was nice watching my husband’s Nanna Ollie laugh her way out of crying at that. Big hugs to you, Jo.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Oh Jo, I’m so sorry. These things are never easy, especially with kids. Thanks to you for all the positive thoughts this weekend. They made a HUGE difference.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
and thanks for the award. You’re embarrasin’ me. Check out my blog for award updates.
July 17th, 2007 at 1:05 am
You’re all so lovely.
And you’re right RC, all the positive thoughts do make a huge difference, so thanks again everybody.
We’re having lots of big hugs in our house at the moment.
Even the gerbils aren’t safe.