Look, I got a postcard.
Isn’t it gorgeous?
It arrived a week or so ago from the fabulous Cami Kaos at Mommified Me.
We don’t have a scanner at the moment so I took a photo of it.
It says,
‘Jo, tell me truly have you ever seen anything look happier than that pig on the front?
Well the guy with them looks pretty happy too. I find that a little bit disturbing to be honest.
Wow, I was having fun until I started thinking about that. How unpleasant!
xoxo Cami’
It made me laugh so much.
And Misses E and M were so excited at seeing a card from Disneyland, even if it was covered in pervy pig farmers.
Cami also sent me a meme…
So I have to tell you 8 Random things about me…
Hmm, this is quite hard. I don’t want to sound too dull, or too weird…
Right…
1. I am soooooo gullible.
Picture this. One of my first dates with Mr B. I met him through being tape monkey at a local recording studio. He was a drummer, and my friend at the time started going out with his housemate. He walked me home a couple of times and we got on.
So, we’re sat in Stockwells (which used to be a great beer drinking and chatting pub, with a fabulous duke box that played at just the right level so you could hear it, but you could hold a conversation too).
Me: “So how long have you been drumming then?”
Mr B: “As long as I can remember. I’ve always had good rhythm. Probably because both my parents are black.”
Me: “Really?”
Ok, on first read this sounds reasonable, but when I tell you that Mr B was born and bred in Notts and his ancestors hale from nearby Derbyshire, and that although he has slightly tanned skin, he would not tick anything other than white on an Ethnic Origin form as anything other than white would be a big fat lie, then you might understand how gullible I am.
I was only 18 at the time and am probably a little less gullible now than I was then, but generally, on the whole, when people tell me stuff, I believe ‘em.
2. I used to love Knightrider and once made a tape of Kitt talking back to me with gaps for me to speak. I scripted out a whole cassette full on one of these…
It had a little microphone attached. I thought it was so cool.
If my parents heard they must have thought it was hilarious as there was this 10 year old little girl voice with a bad American accent going, “Yes Michael” , “Thank you Michael”, “You’re so amazing Michael.”
3. I won a competition in Smash Hits Magazine when I was 15.
My prize was a night in London, staying at the Ritz, a Chauffeur driven Limo for the day (our chauffeur was called Lloyd), a meal out at the Hard Rock Cafe, a London show (we saw Return to the Forbidden Planet), our train tickets there and back, and £500 to spend.
We waited till I was 16 and my sister 18 so we could go by ourselves. It was fab.
We got told off for wearing jeans in the Ritz, but hey, what other clothes do teenagers have?
The car above looks alot like ours and Danni Minogue had been in it the day before. We were impressed…
Hey, we were young.
4. I once made a toaster explode mb putting veggie burgers in it. I was young, I was drunk, I was stupid.
Sorry mum and dad.
5. Tragically, I am an only twin.
(Ok, this one isn’t mine but does anyone know whose it is? The winner gets some free air.)
6. According to Mr B and my Ex, I have a ‘characterful’ nose.
I’m never sure what this means. It’s not big or wonky or anything, but it kind of has a dimple in the end.
Mr B has a bum chin type dimple. He always said our kids would be fantastic snooker players with his chin and my nose.
Luckily Misses E and M just have a smaller cuter version of their Daddy’s chin.
7. Ohh I’m struggling now.
Ok, I was struggling at number 5, but now it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel time.
Erm, I cannot walk in heels unless I am drunk. It’s true. Honestly. I seem to develop an otherworldly grace as soon as I’ve downed a couple of vodkas.
Sadly, it doesn’t usually last the night.
8. I still know almost all the words to the Um Bongo ad.
Ok.
That’s all folks.
I’m off to a Virgin Vie party with my mum so I may not be able to visit you all tonight.
But I will soon.
Ohh, and I’ll add my nominations later as I reeeeeeeeeeeally have to go.
P.S. This isn’t quite the finished product yet. My ostrich will be back.
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August 17th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
i linked this so all the world (or the itty bitty little handful that visit me) can see your postcard!
August 17th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Exploding toaster? nice one, no really I’m impressed!!
and, all the words to Um Bungo advert, wow! I mean it was after-all a pivotal piece of advertising genius in an era otherwise bereft of any advertising artistry, I might go so far as to describe it as a … nope, blah blah blah!
Glad to see you back where you belong Jo
August 17th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Thank goodness your site is back again and I can comment.
That bit about the Knightrider tape is hilarious. Especially since I ahve always found that show so funny. Your parents must have laughed their socks off.
August 17th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
My aunt once tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a toaster, Jo, so you’re in good company. And she wasn’t drunk. I’m glad you’re back at home, and I wait for the return of the Lady Ostrich. I’m guessing it’s female, I don’t know much about Ostriches.
August 17th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Knightrider?! Seriously? LOL!
August 17th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I’ve been reading through all the stuff you’ve written while your main blog was down. And I will go through and comment on each of them because you’ve done some fab stuff, miss jo.
I’m so glad you’re back!!
Love the oddball facts. Character nose, eh?
August 18th, 2007 at 4:53 am
Ahh thanks everyone. It’s like a party, but without the food and alcohol and music…
Cami, thanks for the link and the inspiration young lady.
Prepare to get bombed when I’m back on Facebook though. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr jim lad.
Alasdair, I also still know the words to an ad for something called ‘Catamint VIP’ and the ‘Butlins’ one with the singing family, you know, ‘We never have to splash out, when we’re on holiday, cos’ we come here to Butlins, things are fit for kids all day….’
Susan and Bellevelma, glad you found my Knightrider escapades amusing. I didn’t know whether to post it incase you all though I was a bit sad. You’re laughing with me, right?
Jen, my Ostrich should be back soon. I think she’s a girl too. She has such lovely eyelashes.
RC thanks sweetie, they look a little lonely without comments and I enjoyed writing them.
I don’t mind having a character nose. I haven’t got a hang up about it, and no one else ever mentioned it except for the two main men that have been in my life. Maybe it gets in the way when they ‘re kissing me?
NB. The ex hasn’t kissed me for a long, long time. I promise.
August 18th, 2007 at 6:12 am
Laughing with you Jo. Because I used to sing in my room to the radio and my hairbrush was the microphone. I needed a microphone because I was on stage giving a concert for millions… And when I wasn’t doing that I was pretending (in my head) that I was the main character in a movie. That was harder to pretend because going to school and sitting thru class did not, I knew, make an exciting movie.
August 18th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Love the postcard… BTW Your toaster incident reminded me of the time when I exploded my mum’s toaster in the 80s. I was 15 and really should have known better when I put the knife into the toaster to remove something that was stuck. There were sparks everywhere. Thank goodness the knife had a plastic handle
August 18th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
I’m an only twin too – do you think we could be related?
(and I think you’ll find it was Peter Cook – I’ll await the free air in the post).
Btw, good to have you back!
August 19th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Thanks Bellevelma. I would have watched that movie, I mean, look at High School Musical, that did ok?
I too sang into a hairbrush in front of the mirror.
Now Miss E does it.
It’s so cute.
Ohh 21st Century Mum I still do that.
I’ll stop now. I promise.
English Mum, yay.
Correct.
I have blown some free air in your direction It knows where to come. I can’t guarentee it will reach you unused, but going through a jet plane, some cat lungs and a donkey’s nostril will still make it usable.
Just maybe a little tangy…
Peter Cook, he was so funny wasn’t he?