We have just had a brilliant day at the stunning Clumber Park which is not far from where we live.
Having encouraged Miss E to overcome her fear of wasps and venture out into the sunshine, we spent a fabulous day walking around the lake, feeding the ducks (though to be honest Miss M ate more than she gave away), and playing ball on the open grassy areas that stretch between groups of majestic trees that sway heavy with greenery and crowned in sunlight.
Sounds idyllic doesn’t it.
The kind of day Wordsworth might have written about right?
Wrong.
There was a cloud hanging over this halcyon day.
A great big purple dinosaur shaped one that answers to the name of Barney.
Miss E was given a Barney video when she was two and stupidly I let her watch it.
She loved it for about 3 long months then seemed to forget about it thank God.
Mr B and I threw it away and have never looked back.
So Miss M’s new obsession came as a shock.
Who did it?
Who poisoned our small child’s mind?
We were at a loss.
In the car…
Miss M: “Where we going Mummy?”
Me: “To Clumber Park sweetie.”
Miss M: “My want Barney Mummy.”
Me: “We’re going to the park M, there’s no Barney there.”
Miss M: “But my want some Barney Mummy.”
By the lake:
Me: “Look at the ducks M.”
Miss M: “My don’t want ducks. My want Barney.”
In the cafe…
Miss M: “Barney Mummy. Barney. Barney.”
All the way home…
Miss M: “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaarneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.”
Apologies to any Barney fans out there, but I can’t stand Barney.
I hate his big purple head, his silly goofy voice, his little short arms, and his deformed toenails.
But even more,
I hate the kids that do the show with him.
There, I’ve said it.
You don’t think I’m nice anymore do you?
I know it’s meant to be wholesome entertainment.
I know it promotes sharing, friendship and love for your fellow man/dinosaur.
But it makes me feel physically sick.
I cringe at the forced cutesyness of it all.
I hate the false smiles and the squeaky voices as the kids overplay their parts and leave their viewers drowning in a sea of honey and mush.
I wouldn’t mind if the kids were at the age the show is aimed at, but some of them look about 13.
On arriving home, Miss M seemed to have forgotten her plea for purple jurassic companionship so we made tea while she watched ‘The Suite Life of Zac and Cody’ with Miss E who is a huge Disney Channel fan at the moment, so much so that the other day I caught M singing,
‘Zac and Cody went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water….’
Scary right?
Anyway, we sat down for tea and it started again…
Miss M: “Barney Mummy, Barney.”
Mr B: “Eat your tea M.”
Miss M: “But my want some Barney Daddy.”
Me: “Come on M. Eat your pasta. There is no Barney.
Miss M: “But my want dat Barney dair Mummy…”
We look at each other confused,
then in the direction of her small, insistent, pointing finger.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Oh thank you God.
Miss M is not obsessed with the large lilac lily-livered lizard…
She just wanted some of this…
I am so happy I just might have some macaroni and cheese.
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August 25th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
HAHAHAHAHA!
I despise Barney, but have not had barley water, so I can’t compare the two.
TFYO was a fan of the Wiggles for a bit (admittedly, I was a fan of Anthony’s!), but she’s moved on to Sesame Street. I had a strict “no Barney” rule when TFYO was little. I hated how insipid it was. I think Dora the Explorer is a little insipid, too, but now my child knows more Spanish than I do. It’s a trade.
August 25th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Jen you are going to be so jealous. When Miss E was 5, we saw the Wiggles Live in concert.
They were really good, honest.
And Miss M dances and sings along to ‘Rock a Bye your Bear’ at the moment which is very cute.
Funny, Dorothy the Dinosaur doesn’t bother me half as much as Barney.
Miss E learned lots of Spanish from Dora too, but I agree, it is a little insipid.
There’s worse stuff out there though.
August 25th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
barley water? that seems weirder than a purple dinosaur with scary singing children. Well, almost. Just kidding!
August 25th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
A Bananas it’s really nice honestly.
My Gran used to buy it and it was a real treat.
I promise.
August 25th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
That is a great story!! We avoided Barney here as well. I have a friend whose husband is named Barney and when her girls were little they had a friend come over. The mother of the friend had said that they were going to visit H and A, and their mom S and their dad, Barney. When they arived, Barney opened the door and when the mom said, “Hello, Barney.” The child began to cry–it seems he had visions of visiting the big purple dinosaur and this Barney was quite a disappointment!! Kids are just so cute-you never know what they are thinking.
August 25th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
hmmm….never seen barley water. Where have I been????
I am with you on Barney. I actually don’t mind him as much as the over acting. ugh…super cheesy!
August 25th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
I’ll take Barney over the Telletubbies any day. Did you know the Telletubbies speak? I didn’t know until my husband turned on the captions one day. Up until then I thought they were just grunting and squeaking. I guess Star Wars isn’t so bad after all!
August 25th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Oh I was so horrified for you, I am not a Barney person…. thank goodness you are safe.
August 26th, 2007 at 2:28 am
We were given a Barney tape once. It lasted about five minutes. Even Sprog hated it.
Barley water on the other hand? Yumm. Images of long hot (what?) English summers, Wimbledon, sandwiches with the crusts removed, Panama hats…. I applaud such discernment in so young a child.
Mya x
August 26th, 2007 at 4:00 am
Mrs Weasley that is so funny.
I’m not sure how I’d feel at someone being disappointed by the fact I am not a big purple dinosaur… LOL
Bellevelma I’m with you on the teletubbies too.
There’s a similar thing on cbeebies now called ‘The Night Garden’ which is a bit more likeable.
Eh oh.
Camikaos thank you, I think we have escaped unscathed. Sorry I bombed you last night. What were you doing with all those coins?? I felt dead guilty (for a bit)
Ooo arrrrrrrrr
Mya it must be ab English thing Orange and Barley, but my two love it. I’ve been trying to give them less pure fruit juice as it’s so bad for their teeth.
I too have images of long hot summers. Where did they go?
I suppose part of it is that a week for a kid seems such a long time.
We also got more snow then though too.
I miss it.
Big sighhhhhhhhh.
August 26th, 2007 at 4:16 am
Barney is evil. It’s good to hate Barney, and those horrid horrid children on the Barney show!
August 26th, 2007 at 4:27 am
Evil is a good word for Barney.
Evil dinosaur.
Bad, bad, bad.
August 26th, 2007 at 9:32 am
How have I gotten a day behind? Grrr….
My kids were Barney junkies, I’m (very) sorry to say. It happened so suddenly that by the time the damage had been done there wasn’t much I could do about it.
But I hated the thing. And the kids on the show. And the songs and the stupid dances and the fake sweetness and light that was all around. And…well just about everything actually.
None of them liked Sesame Street no matter how hard I tried. I got a new appreciation for Barney though when they moved on to…
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Aargh.
August 26th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
HAHAHAHA. That’s awesome!
August 26th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
RC I have never yet had to watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. But have you sat through multiple episodes of Raven??
Hmmmmmmmm.
Brillig.
I’m assuming you mean our escape from Barney.
If not, you are wicked.
August 27th, 2007 at 2:12 am
When David was very small, before he could even speak, we were given a Barney DVD by a well meaning relative. He sat glued to the TV for the length of the DVD…glued, not on this planet! David’s first word became Barney right after the DVD had finished for the first time and he learned to tantrum and speak all in that same split second.
The DVD quickly made it’s way to the bin. I hate Barney…although I have to admit he’s a great babysitter!
I’m so glad it was the Barley she wanted.
August 27th, 2007 at 7:43 am
Jolene me too.
Do you think there’s something in Barney that kind of hypnotizes them for a while?
Something only kids can see/hear…
Ohh scary thought.
LOL