Hmmm, thanks for all your, erm, hardwork yesterday Babs.
Do go and rest dear……………
Ok, she’s gone. She’s getting a bit above herself that one. Tsk…
Now, do you remember this anybody?
Ooops I did it again
I played with your heart
Got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
You think I’m in love
A gift from a-bo-o-o-ove
I’m not that innocent
On their own these words aren’t particularly disturbing, right?
I mean, Miss Spears carried them off quite well??
I know, I know it was a little cheesy, but the world likes cheese, especially in its pop music…
But picture them coming out of the mouth of a two and a half year old and it’s a little discomfiting…
It was odd enough coming from Miss E at 6, but now Miss M has fallen in love with it and dances around as she sings her little heart out in her dulcet toddler tones.
Oo my did it gain
Play a my heart
Loss in a game
Oh baby baby
Oo my fink a love
Gif offabo-o-o-ove
An not dat inofent
Scary isn’t it?
And now you’re all thinking I’m a Britney Fan and I’ve been playing it to my kids and encouraging them to learn all the words and do mini Britney impressions.
Well it’s just not true I tell you. It’s not.
There is someone I can blame though.
Well, sort of a someone.
American Idol Barbie
She is approximately the same height as a “normal” Barbie doll. If you stand her in front of you with her back towards you, the left leg stays a good 1/4″ off the floor. Her right hip guts forward, the left hip drops and her hard body curves outward at the base with a sharp bend to the right. Her left shoulder is up and the right one is so far down that when you bend her arm, the elbow is even with her hip. (From a review by Nancy at Epinions.com)
So, not only is this doll less anatomically correct than any other doll on the planet, she also comes with her own Karaoke Machine that plays just the one Britney song.
Perfect isn’t it?
You’re all going to buy one now aren’t you?
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October 24th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
yes. and then I’ll be sick on it.
October 24th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
What is even sadder is reading those lines as if she were singing them to her poor children.
Britney sickens me.
but you JO….you make me laugh. Thanks!
October 24th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I’ll never forget hearing a little boy of about three prancing around a shop singing that song ‘I’m horny. Horny, horny horny.’
It was horribly weird – and not a little sad.
Mya x
October 24th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Hee hee, go Cami.
Corey, I thought about that too. It’s all soo sad. Miss m just thinks she’s coo though.
Mya, eurghhhhhh. That’s bad.
October 24th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
My child only sings songs by The Rat Pack. Seriously, and it’s her father’s fault.
And I’m so glad she has no interest in Barbie whatsoever. Someone bought her a Bratz doll for Christmas last year. It “accidentally” got thrown out with the packaging. Ooops, I guess I did it again.
October 24th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
This is an automated blog comment: “I am sooooo far behind! I’m catching up on all my blog reading this afternoon but don’t have the time or energy to be creative with my comments. I read. I loved. You’re fab. Seriously.”
October 24th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Oh dear! I seem to remember playing with that very doll with Miss E and singing thoswe words!
Moving on… possibly 16 year old innocent Miss Spears did not understand the lyrics of her song but the song writer and her management certainly did, and it made them a lot of money! The solution is to take the batteries out of the toy I suppose.
Ingenious again!!
October 24th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Hopefully the big guy in the red suit will soon bring all kinds of new and interesting presents and this little “delight” will be relegated to the back of the toy cupboard (read rubbish bin) where it belongs
October 24th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Your name just happened to slip into my latest post..hope that’s ok? LOL
October 24th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I bet she does a great rendition of the alphabet song and eensy weensy spider, though! You sing those in the UK, don’t you? One of the my favorite songs my two-and-a-half-year-olds sang was, “Rudolph the nose reindeer.” They are so cute at that age! I think if a Bratz doll showed up here it would also accidentally go out with the wrapping!
October 24th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I had a hard enough time when Barbie and her peculiar proportions were my only enemy but now it’s those damm whores…umm… I mean Bratz dolls. Luckily the moms of friends and I have a no Bratz clause in the birthday invites..but I may soon d-i-v-o-r-c-e my husband because he allowed E to choose a Bratz toothbrush. Aren’t they nasty enough without having to put one. IN. A. Young. Girl’s. MOuth
October 25th, 2007 at 4:12 am
AEM’s Rule number 1: Never, ever, ever buy any toy that makes any sort of a noise whatsoever. If one is purchased as a gift, strongly suggest it is left at a grandparents house ’so they have something to play with’. (ahem).
If only I could follow my own rules [sigh]. Will Baby Annabel ever shut up?! You have my sympathies.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:56 am
Jen I love that.
TFYO has taste.
Miss M also loves Tom Jones, Razor Light and Daddy’s band, so she sings some Funky stuff, but Barbie Britney is torture.
Kim no worries. I am also behind with my reading, and I have so little time for The buzz at the moment.
I kind of pop in, check my messages, say a few hi’s then disappear again. You just have to do what you can.
Ingenious, I have a better idea. I shall wrap it beautifully and send it to Ingenious Junior for Christmas.
Mad Goat Lady, that’s true. Must convince Santa not too bring anything noisy or disturbing this year. Hee hee.
And thanks for the mention in your post. You’re a star.
Mrs Weasley M likes those songs, but loves Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Baa Baa Black Sheep and Wind the Bobbin at the moment. She sings ab renditions of those.
Lee, alas we have Bratz too. I managed to avoid the scary baby Bratz with the huge heads, but E loves them so much that I gave in to the others.
They’re the weirdest thing aren’t they. Especialy with the removable feet. Why?
Baby Annabel, Englishmum I feel your pain. Miss E had a Baby Annabel and the batteries lasted for sooooo long. And the dummy always got lost, so she would cry and cry and…
October 25th, 2007 at 7:40 am
I always find it helpful to remember that Barbie is a drag queen.
October 25th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Ugh! My kids like to sing I Like Big Butts. And the boys sing the part about getting “sprung” although they don’t know what it means.
October 25th, 2007 at 10:29 am
No Barbies in my house. Although when my boys make me crazy I tell them to expect a Malibu Barbie playset under the tree at Christmas.
Heh. Works every time.
October 25th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Pull the plug on Barbie’s karaoke machine now!
October 25th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
When my two were that age Tom Jones’s latest hit was being re-enacted all over the playground. So what was it? Sexbomb …!
October 25th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Oh my Lord, Oh the Joys you are right.
That explains the height, the lack of hips, and the enormous chest. I feel much better now.
Lori, I suppose we can’t avoid this stuff, but we don’t have to like it coming out of their mouths do we. When E started Funky Dance after school last year, the teacher introduced them to ‘My lovely Lady lumps’. She obviously has no kids.
RC, you are such a clever mummy. I aspire to be just like you when my kids are older. That’s much better than a piece of coal.
Akela, it is hidden. Hee hee.
Belle, noooooooooo. ;D
October 26th, 2007 at 7:51 am
My daughter has been begging me to get her a Barbie. Looks like she is going to have to wait a bit longer.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Hi Jack. I can just about cope with the dolls if I have to. But the books I will not have in my house. E had one once where Barbie was on an International Modelling Assignment, but while on a plane to the shoot a man collapsed. Luckily, because she is also, of course, a Doctor, she saved the day.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Believe me, I feel your pain.
October 27th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
See, and you have now just given voice to one of my pervasive fears of having a daughter. Oh my oh my, I really won’t be able to handle Brittney or Barbie in the house. Is there any hope? lol
October 27th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Send round half a dozen.
I’m going to write to Mattel with my idea for a new bestseller. She’s Stretchmark Barbie. Mums will love her, but little girls won’t. So she probably won’t sell very well after all. I guess Mattel probably won’t bother.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
My niece, in the Spice Girls era, used to sing “If you want to be my brother…”
October 28th, 2007 at 4:52 am
Hee hee, thanks Jack.
Cablegirl, it’s not so bad. E really just uses Barbie for dress up. She’s not bought into the myth of her being the perfect ideal of a woman. I won’t let her…
Just never let her read one of the books. We got given one and I had to throw it away as it made me want to hurl.
Iota what a fab idea. Stretch marks, muffin top and grey haired Barbie. Fabulous.
I’d buy it.