This morning was rough.
It was one of those mornings I think most parents experience, and every parent dreads.
It was the crying.
The crying at the Nursery door.
The crying, and the clinging to the leg, and the teacher prising your child away from you, type of morning.
And then the having to walk away from the crying.
And I know she ‘probably’ stopped when I was out of sight, or when the door closed behind me.
I know she was ‘probably’ smiling again when she hung up her coat, or painted, or drew, or played in the home corner.
But all I can think of is the crying, and the uncertainty that hangs around the word ‘probably’ and pokes at you and prods at you and niggles at the base of your spine when you’re not looking.
I get home I wash up, I make a cup of tea.
The I go outside with my camera, inspired by Corey to take pictures of the icey world that awaits me, and to take my mind off Miss M’s sad little face, her beseeching eyes, her sorrowful sobbing.
And OK, it’s fun.
Just a little bit fun, right?
First I take a picture of what happens when only a few days ago it was sunny and you let your kids play out and don’t remind them to put stuff away…
Brrrr, that seat looks cold.
Then I notice the spiders in my garden have gone a little weird with the cold weather. Either that, or this is what you get after a spider party. Indiscriminate gang web building.
Ahhh that’s better.
Then I snap this, erm, erm, ok, I have no idea what this bush is, but it smells gorgeous in the summer, very herby, and it looks so healthy and green and frosted. Sighhh.
And the calm thoughts come as I click, and the ice crunches pleasantly under my feet, and I snap away at my peaceful garden.
Then I come inside and I play with photo effects on my Picasa and I feel even calmer.
I make pretty things…
Well I think they’re pretty anyway.
And even things I would hang on my wall…
And the happy thoughts keep coming.
Not the thoughts about my little girl sat crying in a corner, her little nose running, her face red and blotchy…
…like the leaves on this bush.
No, no, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
Ahhh that’s better. This is my laughing Buddha. If you rub his belly every day he is meant to bring you wealth, good luck, and prosperity. I’m sure when my family bought him for us, they said something about rubbing his little frosty balls too, but I can’t remember what it was.
I tried to do a search on it, but well, some of the stuff I found was a bit iffy. In fact, apparently, ‘rubbing Buddhas tummy’ is a well known euphemism for something men do, you know, by themselves. Did any one else know that? I didn’t know that. Anyway, my laughing Buddha has nothing to do with such things, he’s just lovely, so I’m feeling much better.
Then my dad arrives and we go pick Miss M up, and she is smiling. She has painted me a picture of some number 5s,
And all is right with the world.
Oh, and Miss E, who was having a crisis of confidence last week, has volunteered to read a prayer out at school mass. So I will be needing hankies and something for my nerves on Thursday morning. I can’t wait. 
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One more thing, the fabulous Hootin’ Anni is running a competition at her place. Go and have a look, it’s a really cool idea. It’s all to do with friends, and gifts and spreading the lurve.
Even if I’m not the lucky winner, I’m going to do something on this anyway as I really like it.
Only two people have entered at the minute, so go over and put your name down. That’s pretty much all you have to do, the winner is decided by pulling names from a hat.
Maybe even this hat.
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February 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I can’t believe I’m the first to comment, usually I’m, like, 23 or something.
I have many mornings of “the weepies” with TFYO. Some days she just doesn’t want to let go, and it’s tough. I hear ya, sister.
And your photos are lovely!
February 19th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Those photos are beautiful. I also like how you captured Miss Ms wiggly toes.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Uh oh! Someone’s giving Corey a run for her money! Nice work.
Your spiders need to lay off the coffee!
February 19th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Lovely photos, really and truly lovely!
February 19th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Hi Jo, you know what I’m going to say. It is completely normal for Miss M to be crying at thge nursery door as it is still early days. I remember when IJ started at nursery not that long ago. She was exactly the same., but as soon as I left she was absolutely fine. I, on the other hand, had a dreadful time and was in pieces until I collected her. It passed quite quickly and I’m sure Miss M will have settled in completely in a couple more weeks. (My blog post today is about IJ happily going off to school and me feeling she doesn’t need me!!)
By the way I am staying away from your garden until the summer. You obvious have large killer spiders residing there.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:34 am
What a long comment.
I’ll write a short one to make up for it!
He he he!
February 19th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Wow, I’ve just seen Miss M and her picture!!!
IJ xx
February 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Aww. We had some awful years of Robert going to preschool. He would cry every day. For weeks. It was awful wondering what he thought of me bc I left him there.
Those pictures are great though. I love the spider web one.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Oh the nursery! I remember that trauma!
I think your bush is Rosemary hon, and I love the pictures.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
you got your camera fixed!!! yay!! (it was broken, wasn’t it? am i hallucinating again? crap).
niiiiice photos, my lovely.
and it’s good they’re teaching children properly that one can not ever have too many fives.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I hope the leaving gets easier… I won’t even tell you about the phone call I just took from one of the mom’s from K’s class.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
What lovely nature photos. I almost always think outdoor spiderwebs are quite beautiful.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
oh I remember the sobbing well, but what a happy photo with the fives! And lovely garden piccies too.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Those spider web pictures are stunning!!!
Also, my mom is the director of a preschool (for over 20 years!) – I can almost promise you she stops crying once you’re gone. Five minutes after you leave, she’s completely moved on.
And you got a lovely picture out of it, too!
February 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I heart the frosty Buddha…. My girls gleefully enter all new classes and never look back, leaving me feeling inadequate as a Moma. And this week, they are barreling down icy slopes without me….I’m at a loss.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
oh my girl JO! I NEED to come to your garden and see those webs. WOW! those are the coolest things I have ever seen. Great captures of them as well. I am all blushy and stuff about inspiring you and all. shucks….
oh and I do hope Miss M doesn’t have a repeat performance for you next time. it is hard on a mum’s heart.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Well, the three I needed to receive gifts are up on my blog, and I am going to be very busy for the rest of the week. so I decided that I’ll take the three that have said they’d participate in the “Pay it Forward”….and you’re one of the three. I’ll send you a token in snail mail for my gift of ‘friendship’. Jo, I need your email addy. Could you leave it in my comments? Once I get your email address I’ll send you a little note to get things started in you receiving a gift from me. Okay? I’m excited to be able to send you something—-across the big pond!!! How fun.
[I'll get your email address from you, then, I'll delete the address from my blog so there won't be any chance of you getting any spammers from those who read the comments, okay?] Look forward to hearing from you.
February 20th, 2008 at 4:09 am
It only gets worse, Picklessister is having trouble at new middle school with some nasty girls and I never know whether she is going to come home crying her eyes out or not. Make the most of the innocent years while you can.
February 20th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Okay….I just sent you an email. The Subject line is “HOOTIN’ ANNI’S PAY IT FORWARD” —if you don’t see it in your inbox, check out the spam folder in your email.
[And I copied and pasted your comment on my blog, but I deleted your email addy as promised]
February 20th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Lovely Jen thanks mate, and it’s so hard having to prise them off your legs isn’t it? Blah.
Thanks Miss Burrows. And Miss M’s toes are sooo wiggly. She’s a little wiggly toed bugger.
Hee hee, ta momo.
Kim, thanks sweetie. I had fun. Picasa is great for improving on what you get.
Thanks Rosie. You are completely right I know, but it’s so hard isn’t it. Sighhh. x
Lori, Miss E was similar, but not so bad. It’s so hard to not be the one to cuddle them better.
Akela, yay, you know, I thought it was, but I didn’t know and I didn’t want to poison everyone. I have herbs, ho yes, and tons of the stuff.
Holl, it was broken, now it’s fixed, in fact, I need to do that finger puppet post soon…
Cami, you know you have to tell me now don’t you?
Susan me too, especially when covered in frost.
Belle, yeah, we get to the happy on the end, I just wish we didn’t have to have the trauma first.
Lee, but you’ve made them so confident, that’s fantastic.
Your girls are all fab. (And your boy too.)
Corey, you are an inspiration in so many ways babe. and I just realised I didn’t give you linky love. I will add it.
Hootin’ Anni, thanks. it’s so exciting. Sorry everyone else, you lucked out, hee hee.
Oh no, picklesmum, that’s awful. I hope the school are helping. Big hugs to pickles sister from Misses E and M. And slam dunks for the little evil beotches. Pah.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
So sorry to have been missing your blog lately. We’ve had guests (fun) and been busy and my job takes up like eight hours of every day and I’ve missed you!
Well, a fresh start today!
When my daughter read this yesterday she said, oh mom, I bet you remember this. And I do. She cried a lot when she was three, more when she was four, and EVERYDAY when I took her to kindergarten…of course, that teacher wasn’t very nice and many days I left crying as well. I didn’t wan t to leave my kids with her! By first grade she had the nicest teacher there ever was and got over the crying. She doesn’t cry anymore, but she often complains about going to school, high school. It gets better, but I guess it never ends. (Answer to another blog: yes, she reads the comments I leave on blogs so she’ll be reading this!)
She was always fine by the time I picked her up, but it is so hard to leave them when they are sad.
Love your pictures!
February 21st, 2008 at 6:11 am
Bless her heart! Love the pics and surely the one you played with the colors! Hugs!
February 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Please tell me where you got that fantastic laughing buddha statue? Looking at it makes me smile every time, and I’d like one for my garden too!
Thanks!!
January 18th, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Sorry Madeleine I missed this. He came from a shop called Past Times. He is lovely.