Quite possibly the worst story in the world, ever.
Miss E and I created this tonight after I read the full story to Miss M. There wasn’t much planning involved, just a spur of the moment thing, and Miss E, freshly bathed, slightly snotty and very tired was up for anything that delayed bedtime for just a few minutes, hence the cute puppet action, hee hee.
But back to the book.
It was long.
It was very long.
But that’s probably because pretty much every line in the story was repeated by pretty much everybody in the story.
I mean, I thought these types of stories were pants when I was little, I had no idea they were still writing them, and I use the word ‘write’ only to describe the act of putting text on a page, and not to signify any creativity, forethought or imagination.
And I’m really sorry if anyone gets mad at the fact that the book is indeed in the bin.
I’m sorry, for the waste of paper, and for the fact some kids don’t have books, but seriously, any tree that had an involuntary part in this debacle will be grateful at the chance of being recycled into a toilet roll holder or something much more useful and interesting and fit for purpose…like a cardboard bucket.
And no kid would want this book. It is an insult to kids. Just because a kid doesn’t have access to many books, it doesn’t mean we should throw the crappy ones their way right?
Good, glad we got that sorted.
Deep breaths, deep breaths, calm thoughts.
Oh, and another thing that annoys me about this book is that somebody published it.
There is so much talent out there.
I mean look at you lot.
How many of you are good writers?
How many of you could have written a better kid’s story about a picnic?
Miss E and Miss M could have written a better kid’s story about a picnic.
I bet even our gerbil could have written a better kid’s story about a picnic, even if it only contained the words ’squeak’ and ‘peanut’.
Grrrrrrr.
And I need to say thanks to lovely Irene for my new award, and to lovely Laurie for the fun I had entering her competition where I ending up being a ‘weiner’, but all this will have to wait till tomorrow as I’m just too worked up.
Then again, we had fun making the video, though let’s face it, I’ll never be an actress, so I suppose some good came out of it…
Hmmmmm. Must go and have a hot bath and read something good to cleanse my brain.
P.s. I’m not telling you the title of the book because then someone might buy it, and I will not be a party to that. Ok?
Night night.
![[MFM's mummy bloggers you really should read]](http://www.madeformums.com/news/images/mummybloggerlogo.jpg)
February 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
the thing is, jo, you really entertained us by going all jim henson with the book. so there is *one* good thing.
i think you should have a regular series “books that suck theater”. well, hopefully there aren’t all that many books that suck out there. unfortunately, there probably are.
and me! i think i could! i could best that book!
anyway i loved the video so much i got qoh back up out of bed to watch it. she, too, loved it.
and yes, i wholeheartedly believe this book belongs in the bin, now that it has made me LMBO (b = butt).
oh i love you so much jo.
February 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Ahhh Holl thanks. And hugs to qoh. And we should do “books that suck theater”. That would be cool. And then we should maybe burn them on a huge pyre and dance around singing Shawaddywaddy songs. Yeah. xx
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Holly’s children’s stories trump that one by miles. Miles! The puppet rendition nearly saved it. Only nearly though.
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I definitely think there should be a rubbish bin for bad children’s books, but then I am afraid of which books wil end up there and which person will decide which books are rubbish from which ideological point of view if any.
There, you’ve got me thinking all complicated at this time of the night. Should we throw them in the bin en masse or should we leave it up to the individual? A bonfire sounds too much like something the Fascists would have done, so that is out. You know, in the United States people get upset about Huckleberry Finn.
Anyway, lets just not buy very bad books for our children and individually bin the ones we don’t like and write nasty letters to the publishers. And lets all en masse buy Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain, also known as Samuel Clemence, who once said, “The report of my death is an exaggeration.”
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Pretty unimaginative, I’ll agree. I’ve said many times you should be writing children’s books! Maybe this will be your motivation. I agree, just because a child doesn’t have many books, they shouldn’t have poorly written books, in fact they should probably have the better-written books! Quality over quantity. Your reading was funny though, my husband is doing the taxes and hearing the video was the first time he laughed all day.
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Kim, exactly. Oh it got me so riled.
Irene, you are right in that no one person should decide on a book’s value. But I reckon most people would bin this one, honest.
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Mrs Weasley, you must have been writing while I was. I do hope to write a children’s book at some stage. I’m working on one for pre-teens at the moment, but I’d love to have a go at the littlies.
And taxes, bleurghhh, glad we were able to spread a little joy.
February 23rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Speaking of books, Camikaos tagged me on a book close at hand and I have passed it on to you.
February 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
There’s nothing wrong with that book, it just needs some character development, a storyline, some decent dialogue, and of course, lots of sex.
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
My favorite part is how you bribed your child into doing this by delaying bedtime. Girl, I would soooo do the same thing. Plus, your accent is really cool, and the puppets were awesome.
Natalie (blog hopping!)
February 24th, 2008 at 7:49 am
It’s not even worthy of being used as toilet paper!
Loved the puppets though!
February 24th, 2008 at 8:37 am
LOL at Holly’s suggestion for a “books that suck theater.” Loved the puppet show though. Well done!
February 24th, 2008 at 10:40 am
LOL dont’ you know that kids love all things that repeat? repeat? don’t you know? don’t you know?
loved the video though….and Holly’s idea made me giggle….giggle.
bye now Jo! Bye now!
February 24th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Best way to read that book, sounds truly awful. Nice vid though, love the puppets!
February 24th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Good books – Pants! and More Pants!
We love those. Literacy Masterpieces!
February 24th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
A book for preteens? That sounds good, too. Please let us know when it is published!!
February 24th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Glad you enjoyed making the clip, though!!
February 24th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Daddykaos, thank you so much. I have coveted that meme. I will do it soon.
Willowtree, exactly.
Hi Natalie, thanks for hopping over. And the bribery is just necessary sometimes isn’t it.
Akela, I agree completely. It made me feel quite ill.
Belle, Holl is too funny and I love her. And I will tell Miss E you enjoyed her impromptu performance.
Corey lol, I know, but they can repeat interesting or funny stuff can’t they? Harumph.
Belle, it is soooo bad. I have never read anything sooo bad. Eben stories written by kids who hate writing stories are better than this.
picklesmum, did you write this book?
David, ahhh but it was fun. I hate how my voice sounds on these things, but it was still fun.
February 25th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I’m sorry, but do you have a version with English* subtitles? I couldn’t quite understand.
But the finger puppet action was wonderful.
*Fine, fine…American
February 26th, 2008 at 8:27 am
::::::flop:::::: I have fallen over dead. I have been killed by the most darling English accents. Which I love. Oh my gosh, even the children in England have darling English accents. I better not ever go visit there, or I am quite sure I would have to buried in England.
Oh please, please tell me you have more videos of your children talking!!