Example 1
Miss E is 2.5 years old.
We’re in the public toilets at a restaurant. There’s a queue.
Miss E: Mummy are you doing a poo or a wee?
Me: “I don’t know E, but we don’t normally ask people that, it makes them feel a bit silly.”
Miss E: “You’re doing a poo aren’t you Mummy. I can smew it.”
Example 2
Yet again we are in a public toilet. This time it is at schmesco with Miss M aged 2. We’ve been queuing for a little while when a cubicle becomes free. We go in.
Miss M: “Dat man is smewy Mummy.”
Me: “Toilets are always a bit smelly M. And that was a lady.”
Miss M: “No, Mummy, dat a man. A smewy man with boy hair.”
Me: “No it was a lady. Shhhhhh. Have you finished?”
She nods and we leave the cubicle, and wash our hands under the glare of the ladyboy who is waiting for her friend and obviously heard every word of our little exchange, as did the other three woman still in the queue, who seem to be struggling not to bust a blood vessel.
So, in answer to David’s question, ‘Do you have an embarrassing relative’, yes, I blooming well do, I’ve got two.
And if you would like to respond to this question, please link to David’s blog and leave him a comment to let him know.
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March 20th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I love reading stories like this. Misery loves company, you know?
March 20th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
oh my good lord. this made me giggle profusely.
i’m very afraid to meet your girls now. what if i have to poo while i’m around you?
i shall have to take care of business really well *before* we meet, and then just hold it until i go.
and thank GOD i have long hair.
whew.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
oh my lord… My ribs ache from the giggles.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Hee hee….I needed that giggle today…thanks luv!
March 20th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Oh, that was so funny!
March 20th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Oh that is priceless! Kids are so honest, aren’t they?
March 20th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
until example number 2, I wasn’t sure what a Queue was. LOL I am such a loser.
and I am really worried that you were donig a poo….sigh…..I was fairly certain up until this that you were poo free…..sigh….
March 21st, 2008 at 6:42 am
Don’t you just love ‘em? I did a post yesterday about the things kids come out with – Out of the mouths of babes!
March 21st, 2008 at 8:18 am
LOL! Snags once opened the stall door on me to give all the other women in line a nice view of me using the facilities. I’m glad he’s too old to take him to the ladies restroom anymore.
March 21st, 2008 at 8:55 am
I am laughing at my computer here! Yes, yes, your relatives are embarrassing. And cute. Don’t forget the cute.
Reminds of the time my friend’s daughter said to her very loudly at a McDonalds, “you tell daddy not to get into bed with you anymore without his pants on!”. No she did not die from the embarrassment. But yes, she wished she had.
March 21st, 2008 at 9:38 am
Ha ha ha!! Oh that has made me chuckle!!
March 21st, 2008 at 9:46 am
I think I smew it, too !
Loving every word she utters.
No need to preface this one.
“Mom, she looks like Fred the Dead Cow !”
within total earshot of the lady the little boy is speaking of.
March 21st, 2008 at 10:12 am
Momo, too true. They never fail to embarrass do they? Hee hee.
Holl, they are so much more mature now, honest. Ok, Miss M is only just 3, but I’m sure you poo only heart poo anyway, and that will smell of roses and chocolates right?
Cami, Kim, yay for the giggles. I giggled about it too, later.
Mrs Weasley, they are a pair of minxes.
Mie, sooooo honest.
Corey, I am so sorry to let you down. Will you still be my friend?
Belle, they always try to do that don’t they? I hate it when you’re in loos where the door is too far away to keep shut with your feet. Sighhh.
Jo, now I am giggling, hee hee. That was a really good one.
AOJ, I love me a good chuckle.
Swampy, nooooo. That is bad. Hee hee. And the poor woman, looking like a dead cow. Chuckle.
March 21st, 2008 at 4:48 pm
That is so funny. Had me chuckling. I remember those times when they were younger.
That goes as they get older, then they embarrass you in front of parents or work colleagues or (take your pick) with
“But you said the f… word this morning!”
“I thought you told me you hated grandma’s stew?”
Etc. Always be careful what you trust them with…
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 am
Akela I had to moderate you then, I have no idea why. I will be over for a read soon.
Crazycath, hi, and I am so scared of the stuff they will say when they get older. I may have to place a gagging order on them.
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Oh, my gosh…this made me laugh! I don’t ever take my 2 year old in any washroom public or private when it’s THAT time of the month because she is very loud and loves to ask LOTS of questions. And if you don’t answer to her satisfaction, she repeats louder. Very embarrassing.
March 23rd, 2008 at 6:27 am
Oh NO! When she was a kid, my wife asked a person if he was a boy or a girl. Whatever the person was, they were highly offended.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Laughing too hard to come up with something witty.
So funny!
March 25th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Erin, they are sooo embarrassing sometimes aren’t they?
March 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Stephen, a kid once asked me that when I was about 18 and cycling to work with my helmet on. It made me laugh so much.
Yay, I made Miss Burrows laugh. It was so worth the humiliation.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Jo, you always make me smile! There is nothing better than a parent with a sense of humour!