Lovely Swampwitch is this week’s Fun Monday hostess, and she wants us to:
Choose a topic/theme and make an alphabetical list of words, phrases, photos…however you want to share your topic/theme.
Topics can range from pet-peeves, vacations, people who have influenced your life, jokes, favorites, philosopher’s quotes/sayings, birds, flowers…anything. The sky is the limit. Your ABC list can be depicted with words, photos, illustrations… You are limited only by your imagination. Be funny. Be serious. Be creative. Be sarcastic. Be there, or be square.
And, yes, of course you may bend the rules. Just entertain us. If you can’t do all TWENTY-SIX, do as many as you can. (If you have kiddos, let them join the fun and help with the list. Make it a family, brainstorming session.)
Who am I to give you guidelines for Fun Monday? I have bent broken most Fun Monday rules for over a year now, and all of you have been gracious enough to put me on your list. Here is your chance to bring it on. If you don’t know the alphabet, make one up. In other words, just have fun and teach us something using your own set of A B C’s.
Hmmmm, this is hard. I mean, I want to give you 26 things, but on what topic??
I mean, it could get a little dull.
No, wait, I have the perfect list.
Ready?
A – Ambidextrous . Yes believe it or not, fish can write with both fins.
B – Breast Implants. It is inadvisable for a fish to have breast implants as they could make them float up to the surface, turn upside down and look very dead. If this happens to your scaly pet, just check they haven’t had recent surgery, otherwise you might flush them away while they’re actually still alive.
C – Coldplay. Fish don’t like the band Coldplay, especially their song, Yellow, as it makes them think of poo.
D – Dogfish. Contrary to popular belief, these cannot play fetch, sniff crotches or be entered in Crufts (or any other National/International Championship Dogshow). They can however chase their tales, they just choose not to.
E – Ernest is a very nice name for a goldfish, or Enid.
F – Fins. Goldfish have fins.
G – Goldfish would be a very easy ‘G’ to use in this alphabet list of things you never knew you wanted to know about goldfish, but I am in fact going to go with ‘grubby’. Goldfish never get grubby as they live in water all the time. Life is just one big bath.
H – Happiness is a little bit of coloured gravel, a tiny ship wreck, a little bridge to swim through, and a special friend to share your flat crumbly food with. Sighhhh.
I – Inside a goldfish, there is real gold, but if you try to have a look, it just turns to candyfloss so I wouldn’t bother.
J – Jumping. Goldfish can jump about 8 feet into the air, but they time it so that nobody ever sees.
K – Know. I know this because a shark once told me.
L – Love. Goldfish fall in love every day, then they bump their heads on the side of their tank, forget all about it, and do it all over again the next day.
M – Moustaches. Goldfish are a little suspicious of people with moustaches.
N – Not all goldfish are really fish. Some of them are water rats disguised as fish so they get a cosy home and don’t have to sign on the dole.
O – their favourite word.
P – Posh Spice has a goldfish called Versace. She dresses it in little outfits and carries it round in a tank disguised as a handbag. If she is sad or worried, they have a good chat and she feels much better afterwards.
Q – Quite often, goldfish like to have a few mates round and let their hair down. In fact, they do it such a lot, most of us would believe them to be completely bald, but that isn’t actually the case.
R – Roses are the least favourite flower of a goldfish. They prefer buttercups.
S – Socks. Goldfish do not wear socks.
T – Towels, goldfish have absolutely no need for towels, yet people always buy them for the as wedding presents.
U – Underwater, when we speak, it sounds like all we say is ‘rhubarb, biscuit barrel and tangerines’ to goldfish.
V – Velvet does not look good on a goldfish.
W – Welks often dream about goldfish, thought they seldom meet.
X – X-ray. If you x-ray a goldfish it will actually cook.
Y – Yellow. Never call a goldfish yellow. It is like calling a red haired person ‘ginger’. They are liable to punch you.
Z – Zygon Metheusula the Great is not a good name for a goldfish.
There.
And don’t say you haven’t learned something, I mean, some of these were made up so you can’t have known all of it before.
Happy Fun Monday folks. 
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:37 am
you know, i am glad you mentioned the z thing. does it also go for zygon metheusula the mediocre? cuz we were thinking of getting a medium goldfish, and didn’t want to until we had thought of a proper name. we are forward thinking like that.
i giggled most of the way through this post. except for p. no one disses poshie and gets my giggle.
okay i lied. i giggled at that too.
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 am
Yay, I like me some giggles miss Holly. and Zygon Metheuslula the Mediocre is a fabulous name for a medium goldfish. The mediumness means you can get away with it.
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 am
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about !
CREATIVITY with a capital C !
You go girl !
Everything I ever wanted to know about Goldfeeshes, and MORE.
A++
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 am
I have SEEN a gold fish jump 8 feet. It thought I wasn’t looking.
Very informative post… I will never call a goldfish Yellow again, or subject it to Coldplay.
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 am
Brilliant!
A goldfish is called poisson rouge over here. Who’s colour-blind – the French or us?
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I think you made the one up about socks – because I’ve seen a goldfish wearing pop socks. I was on day release at the time, mind you.
Very interesting collection of Goldfishenalia. Thankyou Mrs B.
Mya x
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Fantastic. Things I never knew….what a great entry.
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Incredibly informative and very good if you wish to accidentally snort your drink up your nose from laughing so hard! Oh, to be half as funny : )
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I gotta tell you, I’m right there with them on the Coldplay and moustache stuff.
March 23rd, 2008 at 6:08 pm
What an intriguing and fabulously funny list you have created. Thanks for the Yellow advice. I would hate to be punched by a goldfish.
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I will NEVER name a goldfish “Zygon Methusela” now. thanks for the heads up!
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 pm
that is utter brilliance!!! I love it!!
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
oh my word….I just haven’t stopped giggling. love this….and so appreciative of the time it took you to come up with this list. It made my day. thanks JO!
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Hahaha, so so enjoyed reading this! Nice one!
Have a great Fun Monday!
March 24th, 2008 at 3:28 am
Hmm someone forgot to tell our fish that he was supposed to land back in the tank when he jumped 8 feet! May he rest in peace! He was discovered a little too late.
March 24th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Superb!!
March 24th, 2008 at 5:01 am
LOL! Love it! You did a wonderful job!
March 24th, 2008 at 5:13 am
The most creative Fun Monday i have ever seen! And so funny! Well done, I loved it!
March 24th, 2008 at 6:54 am
charming facts. I’m so glad that I read every one!
March 24th, 2008 at 6:55 am
I’m wondering how many fishies I flushed that simply had new breast implants. I’m sorry fishies!
Because of “h” I want to be a goldfish. OOooo Oooo Oooo
March 24th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I absolutely LOVE this list… SO creative and funny! Good job!
March 24th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I have always wanted to know all that stuff but had no idea where to find it… thank you.
March 24th, 2008 at 8:12 am
You certainly know how to make these fun monday assignments fun! Well done…
March 24th, 2008 at 9:01 am
What a study you made about Goldfishes ! Thanks to you I know them better now ! what a leak of knowledge I had before ! How could I live ?? Tomorrow I will do like Posh Spice buy me a cute little goldfish and call it Dior. I just have to call her to know where she bought the handbag ! I badly need somebody to talk !
March 24th, 2008 at 9:22 am
That was really brilliant ~ I loved it so clever and funny
March 24th, 2008 at 10:47 am
I do believe that is the most info re: goldfish that I have ever seen in one place!!
March 24th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Thanks Swampy, I had fun.
Mie, so many goldfish will be happy when they read your reply. We are changing goldfish lives here. Sigh.
Dumdad, my goldfish were definitely more gold than red, but I suppose if we were being picky we should call them orange fish??
Mya, how lovely that they let you out for the day my sweet. I think what you may have seen is a goldfish in a net. I often mistake them for fish in stockings.
Erin, thank you so much, and sorry for the snortage. ;D
Momo, too right, I never knew goldfish were so wise.
Molly, I bet a goldfish punch would come keen, and it would probably be a little soggy.
Sayre, glad I could help.
Alison, ahhh thanks.
Corey, it’s a pleasure hon. You make my day so often it’s good to throw it back at ya sometimes. x
Mariposa, thanks. Hope you’re having a fabulous Monday too.
Karisma, RIP little fish.
AOJ, thanks lovely.
Kitten, thanks. It was fun.
Pamela, I’m also glad you read every one, hee hee.
Lisa, the thing is, their surgeons should give them little alert tags to wear or something then we’d know. Tsk.
Peter, I’m so glad I was able to help.
Ellen b, thank you. I love Fun Monday. Everyone is so cool.
Chrisb thanks. I can’t wait to read everyone else’s.
Susan, I should write a Fish Encyclopedia. People might even buy it…(or maybe not.)
March 24th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Celeste, glad I could spread a little knowledge. ;D
Jienteje, thanks, that was such a lovely comment.
Simple Jen I’m really glad you like it. Thanks.
Gattina, go for it. Goldfish are such good listeners, they never interrupt.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Some of them were made up? No! Tell me which ones! I don’t believe it. I knew them all. See, we have fish, but not goldfish. I couldn’t afford a “gold” fish. I just got “neons” and “angel” fish. “Two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year”. Pink Floyd. I bet fish like Pink Floyd.
March 24th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
OMG…I think you just won Fun Monday.
BTW, I always thought BLACK velvet looked good on a goldfish, but then, I’m no “Project Runway” contestant, either.
March 24th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I must pass this along to my friend-. She’s endlessly fascinated by her fish. Bet she had no idea how multi-dimensional goldfish are. By the way, I saw Posh judging Praject Runway a couple of weeks ago–she didn’t have her Versace goldfish handbag. Wonder why?
March 24th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
OMG, this was hillarious! I giggled all the way through, and Blueberry (on of my Beta Fishies) was laughing right along with me.
March 24th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Great list, and sooooo creative. Best, yet.
March 24th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Ha! Ha! Ha! That was awesome! I’ve missed coming to your blog…must return often!
March 24th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
To make YouTube videos smaller, after you imbed them into your post, you edit them in html. Change the size of the pic by reducing the numbers. I changed 425 to 225, and 355 to 155 in the edit. It will need to be done to both sets of numbers that appear in the html. Then you can switch back to compose mode and you will see the video is smaller. That’s blogger for you anyway. I’m sure the principle is the same in any format.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
You gave me the giggles
March 24th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
ROFLMAO
March 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Junebug, I bet fish love Pink Floyd, hee hee.
Tiggerlane, now black velvet could be good. I was thinking of the red, I mean, red and orange, they just clash right?
Faye, her fish was having a massage at the time of the filming so it couldn’t make it. It was gutted. (That sounds bad doesn’t it.)
Karina, fish love a good giggle don’t they?
Jan, thanks, there are some fab ones though aren’t there. Everyone rose to the challenge.
Jenna hi, hope you’re ok, and I must go and see you soon too.
Junebug, you are a gem. Thank you so much. I will try it.
Karmyn R, good.
IamwhoIam, yay. You can’t beat a bit of rolling.
April 6th, 2008 at 11:00 am
The Goldfish were just brilliant!
My husband said to me the other night
“you’re bonkers!.”
When I asked why, he replied
“You speak to chickens”
“No I don’t.” I said, rather miffed.
“Do you deny the other day at Issaegac market you walked over to some chickens and started talking to them?”
“That was different” I said
“Why” he asked
“Because they asked me for directions!”
He rolled over and went to sleep.
Debs