Gorgeous Cami has tagged me for a cute meme.
It is one of the best kind of memes because it is easy, and everyone loves an easy meme right?
All you have to do is list 5 classes that SHOULD have been taught in school.
And these are mine…
1. How to dye your hair without getting red stuff all over your mum’s nice towels, the bathroom floor and the back of your neck.
I am still pants at this now. I really try, but it never seems to work out how it should. I mean my hair looks ok, but it looks like I have colour co-ordinated it with every room I have entered during the 20 mute developing time.
2. How not to blush at stuff you think someone else might think you are thinking.
Eg. Attractive male talks to you. You blush because he might think you fancy him.
Then you blush more because now he definitely thinks you fancy him.
Then you blush because you are blushing.
I picked this because, I blush, and I hate it. I’m not as bad as I was when I was about 16, but I’m still bad enough. I mean, I’m a grown woman of 33 with my own mortgage, kids and shed keys, why do my cheeks have to colour up uncontrollably? It’s just wrong. Maybe I mocked a tomato in a past life.
3. How to walk when you are drunk.
I have a an idea how they could teach this.
- Bring in all the spinning chairs from the IT suite.
- Let everyone spin round and round for about 10 minutes.
- Have them walk across the room. You could use a marshmallow or something to entice them if they’re a little reluctant.
- The person who gets there first is the winner as they must have travelled in the straightest line.
Nb. This can be timed each lesson so individual progress can be judged.
(How many of you thought I was going to say ply them with alcopops and see who falls over first?)
4. How to spin straw into gold, and to guess unusual names such as Marvin Arazmovich Succotash II, Pereguine Flimsy III, or Rumplestiltskin.
You never know when this talent mind come in handy. I had to spin wool into gold the other day. And I had to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Tsk, the things they get you to do in this town.
5. How to grow your own chocolate.
I’m just saying it would be good okay? I mean, I’d have attended that lesson. I’d even have worn special gloves or dressed like an oompa loompa for the occasion. In fact, I still would.
Hmmm, now I need tagees…
Right, if you don’t leave a comment, you’re tagged, and if you leave a comment, you’re tagged.
(Unless you don’t want to be, cos I’m nice like that.)
Also, I had a weird dream the other night. Only Bob knows why, but I had decided it would be a good idea to cut off my ears, or at least slice them away from my head. For some reason I had Ferengi ears like this bloke…
Yep, I dreamed I had the same ears as Quark fro Star Trek Deep Space Nine. How weird is that?
Possibly less weird than the fact I know the above handsome chap as Quark, from Deep Space Nine, but I was young, and Mr B made me watch it ok? And I only liked it sometimes, right?
Anyway, I trimmed one ear, and then I realised it was probably a bad idea as it went a bit floppy and flappy. There was no blood or gore, it was almost as if I was cutting pastry, but as I was left with one droopy ear, I had to match the other one up so I had a go at that too and ended up looking like a bit like Scooby Doo.
Any ideas?
Anybody?
‘Cos I’m at a loss.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Quark *lol* I don’t know what you look like, but if you have those ears [even just one] you must be uberhot.
Hee hee. I am one hot alien totty.
Lemme know when you get that spinnin’ stuff into gold thing down. I sure could use some o’that. Oh, and the growing chocolate thing, too. That’d be brilliant!
these lessons are awesome. i’d have gone to the chocolate one for sure. and the spinning would probably be required.
husbands have so much to answer for. deep space nine. hello. he very *nearly* got me to go to a star trek convention. then he realized *other* people who liked star trek WAAAAY more than he did would be there. thankfully THANK BOB he came to his senses. i would have hated to have to kill him that early in our marriage.
Ah Jo…I love how your mind works. That is, oddly.
Neil converted me to Star Trek Voyager loving the first year of our marriage. Deep Space Nine though? That’s for geeks, luv. =P
Wow, that dream was wild…. and freaky. Now I’m going to dream about Vincent van Gogh tonight…. thx,
Maureen
Blog Hoppin’
Remember the ‘Cardacians’ in Star Trek? Well no joke, there was a woman used to go in our club who was a dead ringer! I wish I’d taken a photo of her now.
Stephanie, I’ll let you know. I’m working on a pill that just evaporates bodyfat too.
Holl, these men and their Trekiness. Seriously, our blokes are too similar. It’s quite scary.
Kim, it does seem to be a man thing doesn’t it? Then we all get dragged into it. Sighhh. The things we do for love.
Hi Maureen. Maybe that’s it? Maybe I am destined to produce great art?? Or maybe not.
Akela, are they the ones with the wrinkly foreheads? Wait, I will google…oh my Lord, that poor woman.:o
I may do your meme Tuesday.
Funny dream!
I really could have used the hair dye class. I had to stop dying my own hair because even though it was much less exspensive in theory… replacing the towels, shower curtain, shirts, floor, walls…. could get a bit spendy.
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