It comes from beyond the hall. A slow, eerie dragging sound, accompanied by muffled yet unmistakable thuds and squeaks.
I stand for a moment.
Perfectly still.
The kind of still where you actually stop breathing because the sound of your chest rising and falling might just cover the millisecond when this someone or something takes its next step, or breaths, or growls, or pounces.
I lean my head forward, trying to purchase a little more of the sound in the hope that those added decibels will reveal my companion’s identity, and enable me to make the decision, fight or flight.
I glance slowly about me, arms out to the side, ready to ward off any attack. My eyes bounce from item to item, summing up their weapon potential in my head;
Fish slice – metal, not ever so thick but could possibly do damage to the shin or facial area?
Chair – a little unwieldly but might help fend off something with fairly short arms.
Lemonade bottle, full – more likely to break my wrist or drop it on my own head. Could cause confusion if shaken and angled towards somebodies face though.
I wipe a sheen of moisture from my brow, then again take a deep breath, hold still, and listen…
The dragging continues. A kind of shuffling, stumbling movement, that of a drunk who suddenly seems to have too many feet.
Then I see it.
It moves towards me, bent and lumpy in a skin that I can only describe as ‘draped’ over the unseemly muddle of bones that compose its shape.
I can make out four legs and at least three other limbs, but none of them really seem to belong and they move almost independently of each other.
It stops and I stare. It has no obvious face. Eyeless, mouthless, earless, yet it has found me.
Me: “What do you want oh strange and scary creature?”
The Creature: Parp.
Me: “Pardon?”
And I back away just in time, for suddenly the creature hurls off its lurid coat and splits into too separate but equally scary monsters who run from the room giggling and coughing.
Miss E: “Awwwww, M, did you trump?”
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April 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I can see the obit now: Death By Flatulent Two Headed Monster.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Not Ariel again!!! Actually there was some flatulent activity when Miss M was at mine today, and it wasn’t me!!!
April 15th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Dedee and I are sitting here giggling like mad – you brilliant woman, you.
Keep safe. No death by flatulence till after I get to meet you…some day…it will happen. Promise?
April 15th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
BeeRepartee, what a way to go.
Rosie, she is the windiest toddler I ever met.
Kim, I promise. I would love to meet you and give you a hug and share some giggles. You’re right. It will happen one day. Hope you’re having an amazing time with Dedee. xx
April 15th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
well it was very windy down here today, and not altogether a pleasant smell, and i thought it very odd in that we’d been forecasted a very calm day. now i know the cause. could you next time point her in the direction of, say, the isle of man?
April 15th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
That kid, what is the term? Hot boxed theirself!
Wow that is one grammatically messy sentence. Now two of them!
Oh what you do to me, Jo…
Or, rather, your kids!
April 15th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Well that was definitely scary! Nothing scarier than two kids under a blanket trumping.
I am afraid.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Dude, those toots are the ’sbd’ kind. Silent but deadly. Pictures are gonna give me nightmares…
Very cute!
April 16th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Who was to blame?
She who smelt it dealt it or she who denied it supplied it? The world needs to know….
April 16th, 2008 at 5:35 am
lolololololololololololololololololololololololol!!!