I always dread taking my kids to the doctors.
It’s nothing to do with the doctors themselves, they’re all pretty good, no really they are, we’re really lucky in that respect. And the receptionists are friendly and the building is clean and comfortable and convenient.
No loose lions or diseased rats linger in corners, no vicious looking mould has teased its way beneath the wallpaper and all the plants there look non aggressive, but still I enter the door with trepidation and lead my children to the play area chattering inanely and hoping they don’t study their surroundings too much.
You see, in the kids corner is something that makes me break into a sweat, and I don’t mean the David Tennant or Colin Firth kind of sweat.
Miss E and M sit down and play with the weird puzzle table that is chained to the wall in case anyone attempts to smuggle it out. (Damn.)
And I sit opposite them and begin to pray to the Homely Ferret, ‘Please oh please homely ferret, don’t let them look to the right’ because if they do they will see this…
The ‘Youth Zone’.
Every time I have to sit and look at it I ask myself, how many teenagers sit in the kids play area?
I mean, how embarrassing would that be for a teenager?
Annoying Parent: “Come along sweetykins, let’s go and sit in the play area with all the other little darlings.”
Teenager: “I hate you with a passion that is beyond my years oh patronizing parent. Be gone from my sight you insufferable hag.”
Blimey, I would have died.
I say ‘would’, because it never happened. I mean kids corners are for ‘kids’ right? Little kids who need a bit of space to play, have tantrums, and wipe their sticky little fingers over stuff.
That is one place I would have definitely avoided, so why, oh why do they have to put this display here?
Do they forget 7 year olds can read?
Or that 3 year olds can ask questions about weird pictures??
I sit and I sweat, and every so often I glance in terror at the various little informative posters, and at each one I imagine a little voice,
Mummy, what’s a condom?
Mummy, what’s sex?
Mummy, what’s chlam…chlam…chlam..y..dia?
Mummy, why has dat funny little man got spots?
Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.
It takes me back to that other visit to the surgery, when there was that poster in the toilet.
I have nothing against the Youth Zone, I promise, it’s just, can’t they put it somewhere where the youth will read it instead of my kids?
Tsk.
Anyway, Miss M has mild croup and an upper respiratory infection and I have the respiratory infection too, so we just have to dose up and wait it out. Bugger. At least with antibiotics you know there’s an end in sight. Whinge, whinge, whinge, yes I know Cami, I am being mardy here, but I am seriously knackered folks.
Oh, that means tired by the way lovely Groovy Mom. It is ‘kind of’ swearing but tonight I am even more knackered than yesterday so I will write it the proper way. I think it’s kind of a swear word because ‘knackers’ are another name for testicles over here. Like ‘bollocks’ (Sorry mum), and I was always told that it was a bad word. (I actually think it’s quite a good word but the Catholic schoolgirl in me still struggles to write it down sometimes.)
Knackered, knackered, knackered, knackered, knackered.
There, that feels better.
Heee. I *thought* that was a spotty penis. At our physicians they have separated the Youth and the children. I guess I’ll have to wait a bit to find out if our youth section has a bulletin board full of penises (penii?)….I shall wait with bated breath…
The knackerman is who we call when we want to have a piece of livestock made into pet food…I’ll look at him in a whole new light now.
I have seen that same kid’s puzzle toy nailed down at all sorts of places here too. Very popular “kid’s area” item!
And that spotted penis made me laugh out loud.
Lee, I’d forgotten that, over here you go to the Knackers Yard to have livestock made into pet food too. I’m not sure how it also became testicles, but I promise it did.
Susan, it’s weird but kids are drawn to that toy. In fact, quite a lot of adults are drawn to it, too. And I’m glad you like Wilbert.
I always liked the word Knackered. And also I love ‘gobsmacked’. Have yet to figure that one out.
But, I am ‘gobsmacked’ they have pictures like that so near the young kids. That is insane. They should have a separate exam area for the older kids.
So how weird was that snapping photos of the info board? Tee hee.
I think I just won’t teach my kids how to read. Yeah.
Yucky infections! Yucky croup! Hope the drugs clear you both up soonly. ~hugs~
Wilbert is a sickly little fellow! How weird! I hope you are feeling better soon!
My mum always said it was a mistake teaching children to read …
I don’t think ‘youff’ are allowed in our surgery so my kids play with the tea set and cooker … hmmm.
you know, if it wasn’t a surgery? it would border on possibly-not-legal to have all that stuff up!
you should *totallY* go up to the receptionist and say “excuse me…my daughter has a question maybe *you* could help me answer?” it would be great if the receptionist was one of those craggy old ladies. that would amuse me no end. but i’m easily amused.
*lmao* @ the spotted penis!!!!!
This is hilarious! I can’t believe they put the spotty penis picture in the kid’s section!
I wouldn’t bother me if my kids asked about the posters. But I realise I’m in the minority and it’s not fair to not have the choice. You should say something to the dr/receptionist.
As for knackered, I was always told it meant tired after sex.
That spotted penis picture makes me laugh and laugh and laugh!
I would say all the bad words but I don’t want to offend you. I am way too tired to even be awake now.
You make me laugh.
I hope you weren’t sharing that reception area with anyone else while you took photos of the naughty posters…
NO wonder those puzzle tables are chained down - have you seen the price of them????!!!
My god-daughter’s grandparents gave her one for Christmas and said it was nearly £200 - yikes!
Hee hee Jo, you should tell them to ask their teachers. Then again…best not ;-D
poor lonely Wilbert!
Oh dear! I would’ve have a word with someone about all that stuff being so visible to the kiddies! Maybe a few words.
You don’t the kids to be seeing a topic, they ask enough awkward questions as it is!
Never in a million years would you find THAT kind of educational paraphernalia in an American pediatrics office — we’re way too prudish over here!!
Best of luck in ever having to explain that stuff!
Mie, gobsmacked is when you are shocked, speechless, so you got it just right. It might have something to do with when you slap your hand to your mouth in shock, or it might not, but we use it a lot here. Your gob is your mouth, as in ’shut your gob’.
And yes a seperate area wold be a good idea.
Kim, they will learn, there is nothing you can do. It is also bad when they start reading the stuff written on the wall in toilets. Nooooo.
Lori thank you so much. And poor little Wilbert, he hasn’t got any friends, hee hee.
Belle, they should give the youff their own surgery. They’d be much happier, bless ‘em.
Holl, I was thinking about it today. I mean, I don’t want to answer that stuff yet.
Maria, it is kind of cute in a spotted penis kind of way.
Mama Zen, they did, I promise. At least they made it look cute and friendly. Or is that bad? Oh dear.
Dan, I just want them to be a bit older when we have those talks. They’re so little. And I was never told that about knackers, but I bet you’re right. I was also not informed a ‘twat’ wasn’t a pregnant goldfish until I met my husband.
Sybil, I wouldn’t be offended my lovely I promise, I just don’t say them much as I don’t want Miss M repeating them to her Grandma or her teacher. She’s already probably told them her dad wears my pants.
Hi Lola, and I was. It was sooo busy, but I have no shame. I take my camera everywhere in case of blog fodder. One day my family will disown me.
Gemma hi, they are expensive aren’t they? I suppose someone could hide it under a VERY big coat. It just makes me giggle.
21st CM, that might be funny.
Lindy, you love Wilbert don’t you? Hee hee.
Momo, I keep wondering if I should. I don’t want to seem prudish, but I don’t want Miss E asking me what and STD is just yet. Sighhh.
Akela, exactly.
Molly Gras, we’re used to see in it, I just wish it wasn’t placed somewhere small children can’t miss it. There are other places it could go where teens would be more likely to see it. Where it is it’s kind of useless.
Ah! So good to know! I have the perfect time to use that word for my M-I-L She’s been wanting me to go golfing with her, and I keep telling her she gets up too early for me. Tomorrow she’s going with my hubby, and she’ll want me to come along. I can tell her I’m just flat out too knackered to go. I can’t wait.
i CAN SEE IT NOW… “Mummy…why are you taking pictures of those papers? let me see?” I’m sure you didn’t call attention to it at all. Don’t worry!
Jo - I’m with Holly. Ask the receptionist, or better still, ask to see the Practice Manager (whose idea it would be to where to place posters - s/he is the boss of these things) and ask them to explain it to your child. ;0)
Great post. Hope you are both better soon.
Hee hee Groovy Mom, can’t wait to hear if she gets it.
Corey, they’re used to it now. They didn’t even look up, tee hee.
Crazycath, I think that’s what I’ll do. Thanks.