Last night was the night of the weird dream.
Did I say weird? I meant, really, really, unbelievably weird and kind of slightly disturbing.
Those of you with a delicate disposition, oh and you mum, look away now, the following information may freak you out a little or cause nausea.
No, I didn’t eat anything untoward such as a menu created by Miss M, or the cast of Desperate Housewives, or an elderly slug.
And I didn’t kill or maim anybody or attack them with my bionic elbow or anything.
And there were no animals involved.
But even so, it was bad.
Are you still with me?
Right.
I dreamt… I had “relations”… with Pavarotti.
Yes, THE Pavarotti.
MR Luciano Pavarotti.
He of the big voice and the big smile who has sadly left this mortal coil and now sings every Tuesday at the great big Concert Hall in the sky.
Oh my Bob.
I didn’t want to. Even in my dream I felt kind of awkward and a little grossed out by the idea and luckily I can’t remember details, but it happened. I do remember one of the reasons I went ahead was because I knew he was dying so I felt a bit sorry for him and that it would be really mean to say no.
Pavarotti: “How about some horizontal gymnastics young lady.”
Me: “Erm no thanks.”
Pavarotti: “Cough, wheeze, cough.”
Me: “Go on then, seeing as you’re sounding a bit peaky.”
I mean, I’m sure he was a lovely man, and his voice was amazing, and his erm, eyebrows were not at all scary, but what does it mean?
Do I have a secret longing for large older men in penguin suits with unfeasibly dark hair?
Have I developed an urge to be lured into the boudoir by the power of opera?
Or do I just fancy a nice real Italian pizza with eyebrow shaped peppers and a singing waiter?
Feeling a little concerned I decided to investigate further and consulted a Dream Dictionary. While there wasn’t an actually category for bonking one of The Three Tenors, I did find a category on S E X, and one on death.
Apparently, if you dream of doing the naked lambada with a celebrity, you ‘wish to be more popular or accepted by those around you.’
If you dream about ‘the death of a loved one, this suggests you are lacking a certain quality that the loved one represents.’
Hmmm.
Is it wrong to be disappointed that there isn’t a category for dreaming about ‘doing it’ with a dead celebrity or just a dead person in general?
It is?
Ok, ignore that bit.
Cough.
Soooo, apparently my dream means that I want to be more popular, and would either like to sing better or have more facial hair.
It must be the first one as my facial hair is already stunning.
Sighhh, I am blessed.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am
I am not sure what is more frightening. Your dream, or your new look!
What did you eat before you went to sleep last night? Maybe you should avoid it from now on….
June 6th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Hahahahaha!!!! OMG. Why can’t we ever dream of doing it with Johnny Depp?
Maybe because I would never want to wake up again.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:43 am
wax darling… a little wax will do you wonders.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I think it means you shouldn’t have eaten the spicy veggie curry just before bed….
June 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Oooo…I like that hair colour on you!
Did he smell like pepperoni? I’ve always imagined that he smelled like pepperoni or sausage or something along those lines.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Thanks for that Jo. Really, thank you. I could have lived my entire life without having that fabulous vision in my mind- you and Pavarotti bumping uglies, yah, that’s now seared into my mind.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
LOL I am literally laughing my buns off here. I am wondering why I never have funny or exciting things happen to me. they make for such wonderful blog posts.
love ya!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Eeeek! That’s a scary one. Was Mr. B jealous?
June 6th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Hee hee, I think it means you need a holiday…in Rome of course ;-D
June 7th, 2008 at 1:06 am
I dreamed last night, I was on a boat to heaven. A great big wave, came and washed me over board. And as I sank, I hollered “someone save me”. That’s the moment I woke up, thank the lord.
That is the very first thing that popped into my head when I read your title. Now I’ll actually go read the rest of the blog.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:09 am
OH and no worries, I had a dream about boinking Jim Carrey once. Fortunately he didn’t have the Ace Ventura hair in the dream.
June 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Good grief!! I’d lay off the cheese before bedtime if I were you!
June 7th, 2008 at 5:56 am
It could have been worse my dear Jo…could have been a dream featuring Liberace…and where would you have put that damned candleabra?
June 7th, 2008 at 7:17 am
i LOVE sex dreams. they are always unfathomable and strange.
June 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Jo,
Hope you don’t mind but I happened past your brain mid dream, and just had to video it all. I put it up on Youtube – you don’t mind do you? He’s quite a go-er isn’t he?You’re pretty good on the high notes too!
Mya x
June 7th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Mie, the dream is scarier. I promise.
Maureen, that would have been fine. Sighhh. It’s just not fair.
Cami I will. You’re so right.
Lee, I love curry. I had veg chilli though. Maybe that does the same??
Kim, LOL, I can’t remember how he smelled, snort, but if he smelled like sausage I’d have run a mile, hee hee.
Lindy, sorry babe. And I love the phrase ‘bumping uglies’, fabulous.
Corey, be glad your mind has normal dreams. Sometimes it freaks me out a little. Love you too.
Lori, he didn’t mind at all. Now if it had been David Tennant…
Lilacspecs, what a weird dream. When I was doing my research (Snort) it said dreaming about death was actually very positive and nothing to do with dying so you’ll be fine. And I think I’d rather do Pavarotti than Jim Carey, shiver.
AOJ, I will, I promise.
Sandi, I’m crying here, hee hee. What WOULD he have done with candleabra?
Laurie they are. Hee hee.
Mya, it’s fine. Does my bum look big?
June 9th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
good bob a few days bloggy break and i’m 320 posts behind on you. how did that happen?
i can hardly type this, as i am laughing so hard at your facial hair. it has grown a lot since i saw you. was it the rain? or the tacos?