Today I have decided on a new career.
I’ve always had a way with people and tend not to panic in emergencies. I don’t mind blood and I once descaled a fish so I think that leaves me appropriately experienced and ready to commence my chosen role of Neurosurgeon and part time Cute Men’s Bottom Examiner (External Work Only).
All I have to do is send of a couple of quid and my certificate will be in the post, then I’ll be Jo Beaufoix MD. I’m so excited. I really must write to Ramona Goldstein and thank her for this wonderful opportunity that landed ‘plop’ in my mailbox today. And to think I almost sent it straight to my junk folder, tsk.
Isn’t it fabulous?
I imagine a Doctoraate and a Masteer is very like a Doctorate and a Masters, and I have always wanted to be a Bacheelor, I mean, I’m just a BA at the moment and I don’t even have all the jewellery that should go with such an honour as Mr T seems to have nabbed it all. (Sorry, The A-Team always flies into my head when I use the letters BA.)
I bet some of you are thinking this is a bit iffy, I mean, no exams? no tests? no class? no interviews?, but it states categorically that “our Diplomas/Certificates are recognised in most countries”, therefore it must be true.
I am a little concerned about the “No one is turned down” part though, I mean, I wouldn’t want Misses E and M taking their Doctoraates just yet. There are some things small children should not see, for example ‘bum boils’, but nevertheless I will support them should they choose to follow my path into medicine.
Anyway, I must be off, I have to make a call to the US. Adios amigos, we doctor types may not have time to write blogs, but should any of you ever be in need of brain surgery email me. I’ll be there in a shake of your bulging wallet.
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June 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
trust you to be “Cute Men’s Bottom Examiner (External Work Only)”? yes, i would.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
boils can be found on the cutest of bottoms. I know. And the cuter the owner, the more fuss they made. Trust me on this. But I think the qualification looks fab. I’m sure I’ve worked with graduates from this noble institution
June 25th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
This cracks me up. I personally have not received this email, but have seen others talk about it. Enjoy your Masteers Degree.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Oh good my own personal MD…I will have to put you on a permanent retainer…LOL
Thanks for dropping by…yes finally slowly starting to feel half alive again ..thanks for asking
June 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Good Luck, I hope that you will be able to make some big bucks. I have a BS, but you probably know several folks with BS. I certainly know a few.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Wow…I always wanted a degree of my own, and to think I can get it without actually going to school!
And now you have me thinking about the A team…
June 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I’ve been getting that spamail for about 3 months now. I thought that they spelled stuff wrong, but since it’s never been corrected, I began to think that maybe it was I that was spelling them wrong, and you have just confirmed it.
Now that you have given it the OK, I see that I was maybe just a little too suspicious, I’m definitely getting me one of them Doctoraate diplomas.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
dr beaufoix!!! dr beaufoix!!! it hurts when i go like this!!!
also, i have an itch. you know, an *itch*. advice please? discreetly? you do discreet advice, yes?
oh after the laughter dies i will tell you that i’m so proud of you. really, i knew you’d be a star. well, you already are. you could be the QUEEN’S neurosurgeon!!!! and prince WILLIAM’S bottom examiner….
June 25th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Dang you is pretty. I like you anyway though.
So long as your medical skills don’t mirror your wee one’s culinary skills we is all good.
June 25th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I think that’s where Gillian McKeith got her Doctoraate from
June 25th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I am so booking you for a tummy tuck.
You’re cheap right?
June 25th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Shhhhh….don’t tell anyone but they forgot the “third world” part before the word “countries”.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:13 am
Dr Beaufoix. Sounds professional. Do you do hair transplants?
Wait a minute, I’ll get me one of those medical degrees and do it myself.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I think you’d make more money as a plastic surgeon!
June 26th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I like that it came from recipesondvd.com! What sort of recipes would a maasters or doctoraate need? Kidney pie? Liver?
June 26th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
I don’t know Jo, are you going to be taking appointments and do you need pictures of the cute mens bottoms before setting up said appointment? This could be troublesome, but I think I’d have to have them get a tatoo so you’d be able to recognize the bottom you’re examining, right? Let me know how it goes!
Sandi
June 26th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
You mean i could get a degree just now and laugh at DH who has just spent years studying and working hard? love it
June 27th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Cami, I would be soooo good at it you know.
Belle, snort, now were they graduates or graduaaaaates
Debs, hi, and I certainly will.
Mad Goat Lady, yay, good to see you Patri, hope you’re well. x
Molly, yep, I know a few people with BS.
Heffalump, you could so have been in the A Team, you are the supermum. Hope all’s going well with the new little one.
WT, you should so get a Doctoraate. You could be a doctor of sarkiness, or a doctor of dogs with bad legs. You’d be fabulous dear.
Holl, the itch? We’ll chat about that ok? You might need some special powders, hee hee. And I’d rather be butt examiner to the stars. David Tennant springs to mind, or Daniel Craig? They look like they’d probably have sore bums every now and then, what with all the stunt work etc.
Kimbo, oh the joy of a lucky angle and head shots only, hee hee, but thank you. My nose is a bit large though, but Mr B says it’s characterful. And my doctoring skills will definitely be better than Miss M’s culinary skills…probably.
Dan I bet she did, either that or she did a deal with Satan and he took her soul in exchange. Shivers.
DMDiva, I am so cheap. And I’ll let you pick the colour cotton and stitch style for when I sew you back up. I could even add a pocket if you want.
Lilacspecs, I think you’re right. That is so bad isn’t it?
Dumdad, go for it. You could get Brainbox to film it and make millions.
21st CM, or I could be the docs assistant, the Doctoraaate, and we could get married and have lots of little docs. Sighhhh.
Akela, well it would only cost me a bit more right? I could get a few. Plastic Surgeon, Lawyer, Prime Minister?? Oh I’m so excited.
Sybil, I know, hee hee. Can you imagine anyone falling for it? I mean ever? Snort.
Sandi, ooo good idea. That way I’d know I’d got the right bum. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Laura, do it, hee hee, though it might make him cry and he sounds like a nice bloke. Hmmm. Maybe you could do it on the quiet.
June 28th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I’d love to know how much that costs. I spent years and many dollars earning my degrees. And to think, I could have gotten the same thing by simply making a phone call and writing a check… Why do these oppurtunities always come so late?
June 28th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I just snorted water out my nose and onto my desk. She is perfect.
June 28th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Crap. That comment was supposed to be about the carrot.
THIS comment is about your new career path:
I was sort of hoping you might want to become an obstetrician instead. Any chance you’d change your mind?
June 29th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Deb, I got that, hee hee, and I bet I could get an obstetrician one too. No worries.