I’m quite careful with my blog. Even though it ‘feels’ very intimate and safe, and even though the comments I get are from genuinely lovely people many of whom I consider to be good friends, I’m also aware that I cannot control who visits my site, reads my stuff and develops an interest in me or my family.
By not using my kids’ names or our real surname, and by not putting full face shots of my girls on here even though I long to share their adorableness/messiness/grumpiness with all of you, I feel I am protecting them a little.
But I have this fear, this paranoid fear that if I write certain things it might invite scary stuff in. By this I don’t mean that I have anything to hide, or that I avoid writing my true thoughts and feelings, no, I mean there is some stuff that I will not share in case they make stuff happen.
The main one is ‘what frightens me’. I suppose this is because there is a certain part of me that believes putting these things into words, documenting them for all to see, gives them a concreteness that they do not deserve, gives them some kind of life outside of me.
There’s also a thought lingering inside my twisted little mind that if I were to write my greatest fears here, then a visitor, an ill, sad or frightening individual might choose to use them against me or my family, might make them come true.
I know I know, it’s all a bit Dean Koontz, but it’s one of my few superstitions, apart from saluting lone magpies, and it’s just how I feel. I have this imagination that always asks, “What if?” And I scare myself sometimes with how far a drama can unfold in my mind.
So, in answer to David’s question, “What are you most afraid of?” I will say:
- Being chased round a mulberry bush by a large animated gherkin
- Having a whole bunch of antelopes trample all over my favourite handbag while singing a selection of songs from the shows
- Not being able to speak ‘bird’ when I am next accosted by a pigeon
ok?
If you’d like to join in, just answer the question on your blog, link to David and leave him a comment so he can keep up with the discussion.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
you are right to be afraid of animated gherkins. they are seriously scary.
ps. Competition time over at mine
June 27th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
You can speak bird????????
June 27th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I can understand this….sometimes even speaking your greatest fears makes it seem more likely to come true.
hugs!
June 27th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
I love when people call it a gherkin. I call it a pickle, which is also sort of funny, but gherkin is funnier I think.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I heard on the grapevine tha you can not only speak “bird”, you can write it as well.
On a serious note, though, you voiced many factors that concern most bloggers.
Don’t ever let gherkins get you in a pickle, okay?
June 28th, 2008 at 11:23 am
well i for one just do not see what the scary thing could be. it’s just silly. antelopes. HA! like there’s such a thing. “mulberry bush”. right. jo, seriously, where does this stuff come to you from!!!
it frightens me.
June 28th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
What fun! This would have been a perfect Fun Monday topic! But I’m thinking I may have to play.
June 29th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Belle, I think I was at yours when you were here. Yay, a competition, hee hee.
Akela, tweet.
Corey it just feels that way sometimes doesn’t it. Weird.
Lilacspecs, pickles are funny. Over here, if you’re a bit mixed up or put your shoes on the wrong feet or something, kindly old ladies say, “Oh you’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle haven’t you?” It always makes me smile.
David I can, hee hee, and you obviously do the ‘in a pickle’ bit in Australia too.
Oh Lisa, what scares you?? (Don’t tell me, pickles.)
July 7th, 2008 at 10:01 am
I’m catching up in Google Reader today (now that I’ve got my new laptop that’s FAST and doesn’t crash when I open the reader). I had to stop at this one because I share the Dean Koontz-esk fears of this ‘virtual world’ … which explains why you see no photos of me (or the people in my life) and have to look pretty closely to discover my real name. Methinks we’d all be wise to exercise a bit of caution because there ARE some pretty strange folk out there in the world. Thanks for sharing. I appreciated the chuckles at the end ;–)
Hugs and blessings,