I promised to show you just how tired I was yesterday. That’s a kind of abstract thing to show right? But I can do it as I am clever like that.
No I don’t have a special chart that displays levels of tiredness according to eyelid droopage or size and shade of under eyebags.
There is no special equation like: K + (C x S) x H = SD
K = Kid in your bed
C = Coughing
S= Screaming
H= Hours
SD = Sleep Deprivation/ Knackered Mummy
(NB. I haven’t done Maths in a long time.)
Nope, the evidence I have that proves I was more tired than a very tired tadpole that has swum the length and breadth of the Mississippi river in search of a very tiny thimble it lost a few weeks earlier, is scientific fact. Nobody will attempt to dispute it.
Ready?
Cough.
So I’m on the playground with Miss E, Miss M and my mum. It’s a hot day and I’m suddenly aware of a cool breeze playing about my toes, but something is wrong. There is something amiss, something slightly odd, something JUST NOT RIGHT.
So I look down, and peeping out of my black bootleg trousers are…
These.
Oh my Bob. My heart misses a beat then I nudge my mum and nod towards my toes as I whisper,
Me: “Mum, look.”
Mum: “Snort.”
Me: “Nooooo. I can’t believe it. That is how tired I am, I can’t even dress myself.”
Mum: “Snort.”
As I walk Miss M round to nursery I’m hoping nobody notices. I’m hoping nobody notices so much that I’m trying to consciously walk in a normal ‘don’t look at my odd shoes’ way, which of course isn’t normal at all so I try to forget about my fashion faux pas. But I’m grinning so much that in the end I have to tell my mate Lou, my mate Sharon, Caroline, Alison, Anne-Marie, Jo, Marie, and somehow, being surrounded by the shrieks of laughter makes it all okay.
And, because I’m having my hair cut in town, I have to buy new shoes.
And they’re really comfy and only cost a fiver so you know, that helped a bit. But it wouldn’t have happened if I’d had some sleep.
So, I blame Miss M.
Although…
The day before, I bought myself these.
Sighhhhhhhhh.
Are they not gorgeous?
They are cute, comfy and the ideal item to base a complete outfit for your brother’s wedding on right??
So maybe it was a weird shoe karma thing, I mean, I probably should have to pay for these in some way other than monetary terms right?
Bring it on Shoe Gods, I can take it.
Oh that is just priceless. Priceless.
Just goes to prove that you are a real mum, with missing brain cells from having to cram everyone else’s rubbish in there alongside your own!
Oh. my. bob! hee hee hee
love the new shoes btw.
The new shoes are beautiful. I need new shoes and I might just have to wait till we’re up your way to look for some. Can’t say I’ve done the shoe thing before although I have been tired enough to forget deoderant, forget to rinse the conditioner out of my hair and once, when I still was in a B cup I forgot to put on a bra.
I would so totally have shown the entire world and have them laugh with me as well. It’s just so much less embarrassing if you make fun of it first. Takes the sting out. Good for you. Not to mention, it makes for great blogging : ) And I LOVE the new shoes. A lot!
I’ve never done that but my sister once went out in her slippers by mistake. It could have been shoe karma. Or it could have been the sleep fairy telling you to GO TO BED!
You are a nutter. Fact.
But I love you anyway! Thank you for making me chuckle!
And that’s why it’s good to be a bloke! All our shoes look the same anyway!
you do NOT want to mess with the shoe gods. the most powerful one, turwilnuk, will absolutely mess you up. once, years ago, i dared to wear a pear of black patent leather birkenstocks with some plaid shorts. it did not go down well. i still have a little tiny notch on my left foot from the whole thing.
those last shoes are so gorgeous that if you don’t *like* the wedding, you can just click them three times…
oh i also forgot to mention that instead of multiplying by the hours, if you divide by the hours you get the rate of change.
just want to be helpful.
You? Are the cutest. And you deserve good shoe karma.
That is too funny…
And I love the new shoes!
everyone knows that you cannot just buy ONE pair of shoes. Thats why they come in pairs, right? Of course right.
LOVE the shoe story! Glad you laughed too. Also, the quirk about worrying about your food’s feelings made me think of my daughter. When she was little, I could give her a small bag of gummy bears and she would play with them for at least an hour before she’d start eating them.
I’ve done that with two different colored shoes, but not two different styles… too funny! Love the green shoes, lovely.
Is it ok that I laughed at you? Because I laughed super, super hard!
And yes - cute shoes!
Jo, you always make me smile. And according to my girls, buying shoes is good for the, um, sole …..
Oh fantastic!, first time i have been to your blog, but fear not, i will definately return! Poor you, i do hope you get some sleep soon and that Miss M recovers quick.
I am chuckling my head off here.
I am in love with your green shoes. They are absolutely perfect!
First thank you for stopping by and hopefully really enjoying Husbandisms!
And I LOVE those new shoes .. I am a shoe slut.
I once worked with a woman who arrived at the office in two different shoes .. she was dumbstruck when this was pointed out to her ..
*snort* at least you got some new shoes out of it.
Now that is funny!!!!!
But the new shoes - the green ones - rock!
I always buy the shoes first, and then the outfit. Perfectly normal.
Then again, I am a freak.
Toooo funny! I have done this too. *hangs head in shame*
And I did not see it as the perfect reason to get new shoes *hangs head further in shame*
I really missed out there. Gorgeous shoes.