It’s funny how you can be down one day and then up the next.
Not funny like a monkey doing a little dance then running off with some rich blokes sandwiches is funny…
And not funny like Vic Reeves or Tommy Cooper or Stephen Fry or Eddie Izzard is/are funny…
And not funny like a small badger playing a mandolin and charging 50p a turn for passing millipedes to peep up his trouser leg is funny.
But, well, funny.
Ok, it’s not funny, but you know what I mean.
And you would think, after the horror that touched my life this afternoon at around 2.30pm as I was doing the dishes, that I would be in no state to contemplate the joys of life and all its colourful little nuances, but sometimes it takes such an event for a person to count their blessings right?
Cough.
So, I’m washing the dishes. There’s only a couple as Miss E is spending the day with Granny and Miss M and I have had a scone each for lunch cooked by the fair hands of cousins ME and baby J. So that’s just 7 items. Two plates, a butter knife, a sharp knife for the cheese, a teaspoon, a mug and a Minnie Mouse beaker. I half fill the wash bowl, being an Environmentally Friendly Blogger (even though I forgot all about the Blog Carnival of Rubbish happening at my fabulous friend 21st Century Mummy/Almost-Mrs-Average’s blog this week, even though she reminded me, bad Jo.) and wash a way about five crumbs, a bit of stray cheese and a few dregs of tea and Orange & Barley.
That’s not a lot right? I mean, the water was barely grimy, yet as I emptied the bowl and waited for it to drain nothing happened. It stood still, a slightly grubby, mostly liquid, warm pool of bubbly water surrounding my green washbowl like a tiny moat.
Hmmm, there must be something blocking the plug I think, so I reach in and my hand meets something squishy. It’s not exactly pleasant to touch, but I continue to tug at this piece of slimy detritus as in the end, what’s it going to be? A piece of soggy broccoli stalk? A gooey tube of pasta? A mouldering grape?
Oh if only.
As I finally get to grips with the slippery obstruction and raise my foam adorned hand to eye level, I realise that my feelings of apprehension were not unwarranted. For what should have been a piece of yucky yet tolerable soggy food product, is in fact…
..this
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, they are back.
This is why they have their own category. Go, click, you will understand, shiver.
NB. I do not wear these lovely Marigolds for washing up, I dare to bare, but for picking up dead things, the gloves ALWAYS go on. (You’re a bit scared now aren’t you.)
SO, why the good mood?
Well I may have my ups and downs but let’s face it, never, never ever, never ever ever will I be pulled moist and oozing from the dank plughole of a 33 year old mother of two, and flung unceremoniously into a bin accompanied by the sound of shrieks and retching and a 3 year old shouting, “What is it Mummy, what is it?
That will not happen to me.
Ever.
So I am lucky.
I am also lucky because of this lovely write up which put the biggest smile on my face as it was such a fabulous surprise. Thanks so much Ian and thanks for the comment. There are so many fantastic blogs out there so it’s really nice you like mine.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
(Thank goodness for the gloves.)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
ew. And congratulations. And that reminds me that I still have a prezzie to send you. I am a good buyer but a very bad sender.
Ewww!
That slug had it coming. If it weren’t already drowneded I would kill it. With salt. Bleurgh.
oh and fab write up! Well done
Rather than go into detail here, I’ll merely direct you to that Indigo fellow for my response to all of this.
way to go on the write up. some people think you don’t have an unusual name. i have one word for them. pthththththth.
maybe you should get a middle name :
jo-tallulahmay-beaufoix.
jo-slughater-beaufoix.
jo-slugkILLER-beaufoix.
OH ! best yet :
jo-friendofholly-beaufoix
no, that last one is too long.
you *could* just keep your very unusual name. that i like. it’s *kind of like kate moss*…but not.
What an odd thing to give a person a sense of perspective! You are so fabulous!
Feeling just a little bit on the icky side after seeing that (shudders). I would have probably moved out of my house about 2 minutes later. I have a terrible phobia of all creatures slimy and wriggly looking. So good on you for being in such a great mood after that!
Firstly just let me say GROSSSSSSS! That my friend is absolutely disgusting, its right up there with SNOT and all. Im so glad to see you are wearing those gloves.
The write up about you was very nice! I can see why it cheered you up! Im sure it also gave you a nice big head swell! LOL!
Ew. Ew. Ew…
You are far braver than I, my dear.
Eeeew I would have flung that thing across my kitchen, then made MM pick it up after.
You are a strong woman for sure, Jo
Trade you some ants for your slugs? You get too damn much rain.
Fortunately the water here in Gent is so full of calcium that I don’t think anything could even get near the drain and survive. But still, sprinkle salt on the bugger and it shrivels up to a manageable size for a drain.
I keep telling myself slugs have a purpose but in my garden it seems to be eating everything as it grows!
Gross! When we fetch the cat’s bowl in every morning there are at least 5 or 6 of the things crawling all over it. And they are always HUGE. Hubby has now designed a moat-style system using PlayDoh and salt to keep them out!
Oh Jo!!! I don’t know what I would do! I doubt I will ever be able to put my hand down the drain again.
Salt ! Garlic Salt and Butter ! Yummy !
*tee-hee* I refuse to use my bare hands when washing in the sink or fishing around to see what may have plugged up the drain. I wouldn’t want to pull up a piece of water-logged pasta anymore than a slug. *shudder* I’m with Faye, you can have our ants in return for a few slugs. I’m starting to think ants are un-killable. Except with bleach.
Susan that’s exactly what I said. Shiver.
Lee I am also a good buyer but a bad sender. And now I am scared you are sending me a slug. Bleurghhhh.
AOJ, exactly.
Belle, I have never salted a slug but I must admit if this one hadn’t drowned I would have been tempted. I squidged it, in my bare hands.
WT, that was funny, heh heh. You are wicked.
Holl, I like the Tallullahmay one. Fabulous darling, and ‘friend of Holly’ is my middle name’s middle name.
Kim, I just thought @What a way to go.’ Poor little gross creature.
Erin, it made me heave and I had to disinfect my hand but apart form that it was great. ;D
Karisma, my head may have swelled a little but the slug on my fingers made it shrink right back down.
Thanks though. 
Maureen, I was not brave, I squealed like a 3 year old hee hee. I just could not believe it.
Mie I flung it in the bin, but then I fished it out later to take its pic so I suppose I am a bit of a hard chick, heh heh.
Faye, ants are bad too. I’ll let you keep them, but you can have my slugs for free, I’ll even gift wrap them.
Lilacs, you’d be amazed the spaces they can get through. It’s scary. They can splurge under doors and through tiny gaps. They are splurgy.
chrisb, maybe I should make that my quest, to discover their purpose. Maybe they are here to make spiders look cuter??
Tara, LOL, I am sooo impressed with hubby. It must be a UK thing, there are just so many around and they seem to like my house.
Momo, I will never do it blind again. It was quite traumatic, I may never be able to go near the sink ever again. Result.
Swampy no. Wth snails it’s allowed, but slugs? No no no. They leave yellow trails. That stuff isn’t gravy you know.
Jen, ants are bad because there are just so many aren’t there. I suppose at least with slugs I can scoop them up in a tissue and throw them out the back door. But ants are not slimy so at least if you touch one you don’t feel soiled for life.
Jo dear…blahhahgaggga..sorry…congrats on the lovely write up..I went to read it so I could forget the yuchhhhhh thing in your drain…ugh…I feel quite ill…go lay down and take a nap now, put a cold cloth on your head and perhaps you’ll be better in a bit, okay?
Sandi
OHMI….. I once put my bare foot into my trainer in Zimbabwe on my gap year and there was a toad in there.. similar reaction.
BM x
Sandi thanks, it was very traumatic.
Bush Mummy, noooooooooooooooooo. Was it squidgy?