Miss M: “Will you hold this for me Mummy?”
I glance at Miss M. She is holding something tiny and invisible in her hand.
Me: “Erm, Ok M, what is it?”
Miss M: “Shhhhhhhh. You’ll wake him up.”
She gently places the little piece of imaginary something into my open palm then closes my fingers over it.
Me: (whispering.) Oh, Ok, who is it? Is it a little doggy?”
She looks at me in disgust.
Miss M: “No Mummy. It’s baby Jesus.”
Me: “Oh, snort.”
She studies me critically for a moment, then comes to a decision.
Miss M: “He’s asleep. I’ll put him on here.”
And she gingerly takes him from my hand and places him on top of the fireplace.
Me: “Are you sure he’ll be ok there M? He might fall off.”
Miss M looks at me, then the mantlepiece then she shrugs then leaves the room.
So I sit for a while reading my book, or attempting to read my book, but every few seconds my eyes are drawn to the wooden fire surround and a little voice in my head is saying, ‘You should really move him, he might fall.’ Finally I give in to my urges, walk over and carefully pick him up. I imagine him small and nestled in my hand like a sleeping gerbil, only less hairy, wrapped in swaddling clothes and with a tiny halo and an accusatory expression.
It’s just an accident waiting to happen right?
At the same time Miss M walks back into the room.
Miss M: “Oh Mummy, you woke him up. Tsk. Come on baby Jesus, let’s get out of here sweetheart.”
And with that she snatches the tiny nothing from my hand and flounces from the room, her face all taut eyebrows and pursed lips. Blimey that kid can do drama.
Me: “Sorry M. Erm, sorry Jesus.”
There is a moment of silence, then her head peeps back around the door.
Miss M: “It’s BABY Jesus.”
Bugger. Now I’m definitely going to hell.
Aww, she should’ve just stuck him in that little red barn…it’s close to a manger, don’t you think?
I read you postings all the time, but seldom comment, sorry. This is a great post, you just can’t keep up with what’s going on in their wonderful minds. And to be caught in the act! Blimey!
Bless her.
Jo, Jo Jo Jo… I can’t believe you don’t have a baby jesus holder in your house!
I was going to leave a comment saying that your lounge looks about as tidy as ours, but then I realized your carpet has a lot less stains.
I laughed so hard over that Neil came over to see what was up.
Neil says, “Now, if He has the whole world in his hands, how big is this Miss M?”
Brilliant, Jo.
I take it there was no room at the inn?
wow! you were really close to jesus today.
we BOTH posted about jesus today! how amazing is that?!
okay, yours was more informative, but still, a coincidence is a coincidence!
and jo, i think jesus will FORGIVE you for waking him, and also not referring to him by his ‘baby’ title.
BUDDY jesus always forgives me. mainly because he knows i don’t really care either way.
yeah, you probably shouldn’t take tips on religion from me. i’ll go now.
Yes, Jo. It’s BABY Jesus. Hilarious.
Also, that is one major stack of multimedia equipment there. Do they still make cassettes? I’ve got this old Dr. Seuss book “Red Fish, Blue Fish” that came with a cassette. Audio books from the 80s. Woo!
You woke up Baby Jesus? What were you thinking, woman? lol
Are your children going to a Christian school where they are learning all this stuff? Do you worry about that? Things like that tend to leave a lasting impression on children, or is that the whole idea?
tee hee…..oh man….Miss M’s imagination…it is to die for. i would be peeing my pants alllllll the time with laughter in your house. reason number 46 you shouldn’t invite me over….sigh…
That is priceless. My son never shuts up about God at the moment. Everything is God’s precious creature until the day a beetle made it’s way into his bedroom and God didn’t have a say in the matter!
Oh, my! LOL It puts me in the mind of Eddie Izzard, blasphemy, blaspha-you, blaspha-everybody, too. *tee-hee* I guess if you’re going to have an imaginary friend, better make him the best one you can. I imagine Baby Jesus has a lot more pull than some little imp named “Stan”.
Does he wear a diaper? I’d be worried about the mess!
Your kid is so cute!!
She sounds like a responsible toddler to me. What does she charge for babysitting and will she travel this far?
Also, BIG commiserations over return of slugs. Keep the Marigolds on, duck!
Mya x
Lilacs that would have been perfect. There’s a mabger and everything in there. I will tell her.
Jan, thanks and no need to be sorry. I read more than comment too as it’s just too hard to fit it all in. Their minds are amazing aren’t they? I love it.
Dumdad, snort.
Cami, I know. I am a bad Mummy.
Dan, dark carpets are soooo good for hiding the stains.
Kimberley, Miss M is a giant among 3 year olds. ;D
David thanks. Did you have a fab holiday? Hope so.
Holl, is Buddy Jesus related to Buddy Holly? Hey are you related to Buddy Holly? I may call you Buddy Holly from now on as it makes me smile and he was fabulous.
Ian, hee hee, that was Mr B’s pride and joy 15 years ago. Now it’s perfect for sticky fingered kids. We don’t use the cassette bit but they do still make them I think. They just seem so slow and clumsy now don’t they? I don’t know if they still make video cassettes but we have a ton of Disney films and as long as our player works we’re hanging on to them as the girls love them at the moment.
Groovy Mom, I know. I am bad. ;D
Irene, my kids do got to a Catholic school, but they have a Daddy who is an Athiest and a Mummy who has a faith that is gentle, questioning and open minded. They know Mummy believes in God, and that there is no right or wrong religion in her eyes, and they know Daddy doesn’t and that that’s ok too. I suppose I want them to have the chance to have a grounding in faith so they can make up their own minds when they’re older. They also know that the most important thing to me and their Daddy is that they grow up to be kind, caring well rounded people who value everybody and judge on behaviour not belief if they must judge at all.
I’ll be very careful with sex ed though as we were taught some crazy things, but I’m told things are very different now. I’ll be watching though.
Corey, you know, the pant peeing doesnt worry me. I would still let you come.
Tara, LOL, I am like your son in that I tell Miss M spiders are cute and give them daft names so she’s not scared of them, but I DON’T WANT THEM IN MY HOUSE ON MY HEAD. Shiver.
Jen, I’m waiting for her to use the line, “It wasn’t me, it was Jesus.” or “Jesus told me to do it.” I will fall over laughing.
Sybil, I don’t know. Probably though as Miss M likes to help when we change baby J. I don’t think he has a dummy though. (I think you call them soothers but I could be wrong.)
Mya, unfortunately she has been banned from all European transport due to a smuggling incident.
And I need to get me some of those frilly be-jewelled Marigolds don’t I. Snigger.
I love Miss M’s imagination…I see great things in store for her…and you Jo, should learn to listen to her, lol…she had things well in, well for wont of a better word, hand lol
Sandi
I love this. I really should come more often, but I’m running out of incontinence pads for those *moments* when I read your blog…
Favorite part of this post:
“…like a sleeping gerbil, only less hairy, wrapped in swaddling clothes and with a tiny halo and an accusatory expression.”