Is it conceivable that Satan might choose to inhabit the body of a gerbil?
I mean, ok, there’s perhaps not much ‘dark work’ to be done when you are 3 inches long and confined to a glass tank, but most bad stuff nearly always begins small and insignificant, and if you’re cute it’s easy to be overlooked and dismissed as something harmless. I mean, look at that kid from Omen? Tom Cruise? Ladybirds?
As a parent it’s always a worry when you feel you may have unwittingly brought the anti-christ into your home, but sometimes you just have to ignore the warning signs and soldier on. For example, today, our empty gerbil tank became home to two new little furry fiends friends.
While Misses E and M were enjoying their return to school and nursery after the 6 week break, I was shopping for rodents.
To balance the girl:boy ratio in our house I returned home with two brothers, one for Miss E and one for Miss M. Am I not a cool Mum?
So, here is the aptly named Sandy.
He’s called Sandy because…, yeah, really I don’t have to explain right?
Anyway, Sandy has the undeniable pleasure of being adopted by Miss E. That means he’s less likely to get dropped, squeezed or talked at very loudly. Yep, lucky Sandy.
He looks cute doesn’t he? Nothing screaming ‘BEELZEBUB’ there right?
Miss M however went for the little white dude.
Meet Jack everybody…
..or should I say Lucifer?
Seriously, have you ever seen eyes that scary that weren’t accompanied by head spinning, projectile vomiting and speaking in tongues? I mean, I wouldn’t even be able to tell if he was speaking in tongues, or even squeaking in tongues, it’s the perfect disguise.
Unfortunately I only discovered the worrying bright red evil ‘I want to eat your kidneys’ peepers after I photographed him, which means after Miss M had already fallen in love with him and named him after her favourite boy at nursery.
So I have a choice.
Break Miss M’s heart by returning Jack to ‘Pet’s at Home’ or, commune with what may just possibly be the rodent world’s equivalent to Lord Voldemort.
What would you do?
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September 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I’ve seen them move peanuts with the power of their tiny minds. It’s horrifying.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I love that all the votes so far have been the same. Hee hee. He could just be tragically misunderstood. I say give him a chance and turf him the moment something weird goes down.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
You my dear have a talent for making the most normal everyday things….fun and exciting.
hooray for evil gerbils.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Your mistake was letting her name it Jack. I have 3 cats. 2 black ones. The youngest one? A black male, named, Jack (the ripper). And he has the most aggressive and, well, evil personality of any cat I have ever had. Some would attribute that to the fact that he is a black male. I think it’s cause I named him Jack. When I first got him, as a tiny kitten, they told me he was a female. So I had named him Lizzy (borden). He was sweet when he was Lizzy. But the minute I called him Jack? Nightmare.
So, just convince her to change the name
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
honey *I* say (and you know what a frickin’ scaredy cat *I* am…) *I* say use him to his fullest capacity. you should totally go all dr. evil (pinkie at side of mouth) and blackmail the world for ONE MILLION DOLLARS or unleash this mouse WITH LASERS. yes. that is what you should do.
then can i have some? i only want about a tenner. k?
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
no wait. once you get the million dollars let me borrow the mouse. i’d like a million too.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
It’s the tail that gets me! We’re not allowed rodents with long scary tails. Red eyes are just fine by me.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
How funny that almost everyone thinks the same thing…hmmm. You are a fabulous mom to even let rodents into your house. My husband had albino rats before he met me. They disappeared right around the time I appeared in the picture!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
You should try keeping them in a tank full of peat. Fill it up 2 thirds full and they will make burrows and tunnels and stuff. You only need to clean them out once every six months or something.
I’ve always wanted to do that, but Kerry wont let me get any.
And…er… that’s the flash reflecting off their eyes.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 pm
nooo! I have satanic guinea pigs too
Seriously scary. Sleep wearing a crucifix and draped in garlic flowers. Do not open the windows at night.
September 4th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Do they do colour contact lenses for gerbils? A possible solution perhaps?
September 4th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Top one looks a bit suss to me too!
September 4th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Writer Dad, you have not seen true horror till you have witnessed that have you.? Shiver.
Kim, I’m going with your sound advice but I will be watching him like a hawk, which is a very scary thing for a tiny rodent.
Ahh thanks Corey. And you make them beautiful. Hooray indeed for evil gerbils.
Mie, you pick such cool names for your pets. Sadly he will have to remain a Jack as Miss M has remembered it today which means she is very much decided. I also have a fabulous (kind of) nephew called Jack who is almost never evil, so I think we’ll be ok.
Holl, you should have been animaniac, seriously, Pinky and The Brain would have so managed to take over the world if you were with them. (I’ll send him over in a couple of weeks when I have targeted the government.)
Erin, I’m not that fabulous, in that I like them. Now if they wanted spiders? It would not happen. Shiver.
Lori I don’t mind the tail. But like I said to Erin, if they wanted spiders…
Dan, I read that. We might just have a go. We used shredded paper for our others so they could tunnel and hide but the peat idea sounds great. I’ll look into it. Also, tell Kerry, gerbils are the easiest and least smelly of all small pets excet goldfish and they’re just creepy. Seriously Kerry, they are so easy it’s mad. And they’re really cute and inquisitive and friendly once they get to know you.
Belle, hee hee, we uses to have satanic guinea pigs. Bonnie and Sindy had red eyes, ad Jimmy just had one red eye after a scrap with Ruffles. Oh the drama. I will wear garlic and maybe sprinkle salt in front of all the doors.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:25 am
What if this is the albino rodent the world has been waiting for? The one who will end all suffering, famine, war, pestulence, and train all untrained potty users just by one little wink of his red eye … soon the world will beat a path to your door, you’d better alert the pavers, and hail Jack as the second coming …
Or not.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Albino animals do freakme out a bit, but as long as there’s no 666 under it’s fur I think it’s safe to keep.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
No, you’re absolutely right. EVERY time I’ve seen a rodent with eyes like that it was accompanied by head spinning, projectile vomiting and speaking in tongues.
Dude, you should sell it on eBay. I bet satanic rodents go for a LOT of money in some communities!
September 6th, 2008 at 8:52 am
I didn’t know that gerbils looked like rats. Are you sure those aren’t rats? How can you tell the difference? Maybe he is an albino rat, he can’t help that, you know. Poor thing has to live with it for the rest of his life and be an outcast.