Today I learnt something about my husband.
It’s weird because we’ve been together for 15 years so you’d think I’d know everything there is to know wouldn’t you?
Like if he stands beside me in a certain way I know he’s going to leave me with the gift of a windy emission that wouldn’t seem out of place in a sewer.
And if he can’t find the TV remote he will snarl and grumble like a lion with a verucca and not stop until I go in, lift a cushion, or a book, or a child, and find it almost straight away.
I know he likes to sing loudly when he cooks.
I know he loves having head and back rubs and has even trained Miss E in the art, and if E and I are otherwise engaged he shimmies up and down the door post in the living room Baloo style and makes weird grunting sounds. (NB. He has eczema, not anything else in case you were thinking body lice or something really nasty.)
But what I did not know, what I could never have guessed, was a certain ambition for, erm, power.
I mean, I suppose the signs were there. He used to love Pinky and the Brain from Animaniacs, and is big into Sci-Fi which let’s face it is generally about either unlikely yet oddly enticing love matches, or somebody wanting to rule the known universe, but…
.. Mr B??
Drummer, Dad, scourge of Trivial Pursuit players across the land?
Surely not?
But, as I rose from my sick bed (yes sick again) and wandered unsteadily downstairs, then perched myself gingerly on the edge of my familiar large black office chair and touched the eager little mouse, I saw this;
So now I’m not only going to have to recognise that minutiae of body language that announces a fart, or an itch, but also world domination.
Tsk, the things we have to do.
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October 2nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Err…that was so disturbing to read. Everything you listed about him? I could say about Neil. Down to the Eczema and the rule the world computer games.
So.
Weird.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Ah…world domination. At least it wasn’t some secret dressing in lingerie fetish.
Sorry to hear you are sick!! I think I would DIE if I had a room upstairs. Up ANY stairs. Hang in there, and feel better!
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I think you’ve got trouble. It’s his destiny!
Haha
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I love that you blogged this….and took a screen shot for it. You are awesome!
hope you will be free of sickness soon!
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
nothing wrong with a little need for world domination
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Ooh, what’s that game? I sincerely believe world domination is my destiny as well.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Every man has it in him to secretly wish for this, even if he has eczema, or maybe especially if he does. I’ve got it on my head and could do with some world domination myself, but then again, I’m a woman and am not allowed to secretly wish for this. I do want to be the Queen of the Netherlands, however.
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:51 am
Oh boy, have you got your hands full!
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:18 am
The 15th of this month I’ll have been married to the one man in my life that ever made an impression (not counting my father, you know) on me that didn’t make me want to choke the living crap out of him…40 years. Yep, I deserve a medal.
Sandi
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am
Ummm … ummm … well Husband isnt into dominating the world he’s too busy trying to work his way through NetFlix entire library … seriously
October 4th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Have you ever played the board game Risk? That’s great for wannabe world dominators.
October 8th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Troz! Poit! Narf! Zort!
(Hubby will translate that for you)