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Text-tastic

by Jo Beaufoix on October 13, 2008

It’s about 5pm and I’m about to cook tea. Misses E and M are in that shell shocked ‘just got home from school/Granny’s’ mode, the one were they can only manage sitting in front of the TV and not a lot else. Their eyes are glazed, their mouths fixed in half smiles as they lay on the settee with cushions on their knees, Miss M hugging her plush turtle.

Then the phone rings.

I lift it to my ear expecting Mr B or Auntie Claire, who often rings at this time to say ‘hi’ to her nieces.

I get this:

Automated female voice: “This - is - a - message - from - Katie.

Don’t - think- I - can - do - it. –I - hear - her - voice - and - I - want - to - kill.”

If I want to hear it again I can press 2.

I don’t.

The words “Oh dear” fall from my mouth and I think, who is Katie? Do I know a Katie? Do I know anyone who talks about a Katie?

The answer is no. I wonder whether I should have checked the message to see what number the original call came from, but then my mind gets all alarmed and paranoid and I decide it would be best to leave Katie alone, I mean, people who have thoughts of killing other people should probably be avoided right?

And I’m sure it was probably a text sent to a home phone by mistake and that the number just happened to be mine, but somewhere in a little corner of my head a narrative is developing where a serial killer trawls for victims by sending them obscure messages that leave them feeling so curious that they follow it up and attempt to find the sender, aka Dr Death.

Don’t laugh, it could happen.

And then Dr Death would convince the innocent victim that they were a friend of a friend and were inviting them out to a surprise party for said friend, but really they are planning to enslave and torture their unwitting captive by tickling them ten times an hour for about 8 weeks until their feet fall off, or they explode.

So anyway, whoever Katie is I would suggest ‘not doing it’, whatever ‘it’ is.

I would also suggest that she is a little more careful sending out texts,

and finally, that she may need therapy, or imprisonment, for her own good and for the good of the people of Nottinghamshire.

Shiver.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Erin 10.13.08 at 11:31 am

Can I just say that is creepy…very, very creepy. I thought it was weird that I keep getting texts from someone in another province calling herself “mom” and telling me how much she loves me. But Katie definitely has bigger fish to fry.

2 Crazycath 10.13.08 at 11:47 am

The police could be trawling blogs as we speak for evidence in some murder…. ! Hmmm. Katie would not be good undercover would she?
I preferred the automated voice when it was Tom Baker. Dunno why they got rid of him. At least it was human. Or maybe not - he was, after all, from Galafrey.
That “press 1 for…” has given me an idea for a post. Now I just have to find the material….

3 CamiKaos 10.13.08 at 11:48 am

I’m so glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that call!

4 Momo Fali 10.13.08 at 12:18 pm

Are you going to start scaring me because Halloween is nearing? If so, I’m leaving and I’m not coming back until Christmas. I hate the scary and Katie is freaking me out.

5 Akelamalu 10.13.08 at 12:19 pm

How creepy is ? :(

6 Iota 10.13.08 at 12:28 pm

I often have called from debt collection agencies for Stacey, (but no death wishes). Don’t they double-check that people are contactable before lending them money? I mean, how easy is it to give a false number? Don’t people care if they loan money to people who they can’t then get that money back from? Wouldn’t that lead to a global economic crisis? You heard it first…

7 Potty Mummy 10.13.08 at 12:34 pm

I once got one of those automated voice messages, but it was even creepier; the voice leaving it was Tom Baker’s… (an ex, ex, ex, ex Dr Who for those of you not in the know). The message itself was from a friend and inocuous, but the voice just freaked me out.

8 Akelamalu 10.13.08 at 12:43 pm

That should have said “How creepy is THAT?”

9 Xbox4NappyRash 10.13.08 at 1:42 pm

I think she should do it.

10 Crazycath 10.13.08 at 2:06 pm

I got my idea for my post, got it posted, linked to you and blamed you! hehehe.
Only kidding! Well, I did link…

11 Corey 10.13.08 at 2:06 pm

oh my…I’d totally lose sleep over something like that. eeekkkk….

12 DFTF 10.13.08 at 2:49 pm

Yikes! That’s creepy. I kept hoping you’d tell us you figured out who Katie is.

13 Adventure Mother 10.13.08 at 3:07 pm

It’s a hoax/wind up/wrong number/wrong Katie. Whatever it is, it’s not worth worrying about.

14 holly 10.13.08 at 4:56 pm

oh honey i got to work one day and got the worst break-up phone call ever. and the person never left their phone number. “steve” will never know why that chick isn’t accepting his calls anymore.

but death is much worse. particularly katie-deaths.

15 susanasherself 10.13.08 at 6:02 pm

OK, that’s just downright weird. I have never heard of those automated messages, unless they are sales calls, in which case you just hang up and they are not directed toward anyone in particular. UGH!

16 mielikki 10.13.08 at 7:03 pm

I like the drunk dialings. Last one I got was some guy who was out four wheeling, drunk. And got stuck. Entertained me for days. Yours? Creeeeeepy

17 Maggie May 10.13.08 at 11:36 pm

Just came over from Crazy Cath’s…. Your phone text was funny but with worrying overtones!
CC’s was hilarious!
Hope it was some prankster and not someone in need of some urgent treatment of some kind!

18 Irene 10.14.08 at 4:21 am

That’s beyond creepy. That would make me leery about answering the phone. Don’t let the kids answer the phone from now on. Makes you feel as though you have entered the twilight Zone. I - must - stop - writing - now - I - feel - a - need - to - hide.

19 Sybil Law 10.14.08 at 9:20 am

Oops! My bad. I meant to send that to someone else. Please disregard!
:)

20 Daryl 10.14.08 at 12:39 pm

a text message ends up being a voice on the phone … you silly Brits .. no wonder we won that war

21 Jo Beaufoix 10.15.08 at 9:39 am

Erin, yep, creepy. I had to stop and think about it for a moment then I thought, ‘Hmmm, blog fodder’ and it made it all ok. :D

CrazyCath, I read that but I couldn’t comment. I’ll go back and try again soon, hee hee.

Cami, it was a bit weird. ;D

Momo, I promise not to scare you too much. Honest. Katie though? I can’t speak for her, shiver.

Akela, very.

Iota, we get calls for a Mr Spence. I think he’s been spending someone else’s money too. Naughty.

Potty Mummy, that would have freaked me out too hee hee, but he has got a fab voice hasn’t he?

Akela, hee hee, that’s what I thought. :D

Xbox, you are a bad man. ;D

Crazycath, I don’t mind being blamed as long as it’s not for whatever Katie did.

Corey, it was very strange.

DFTF, no, I do not know any Katies who would have my number.

Adventure Mother that’s what I think too. :D

Holly, I shouldn’t have laughed at that. Does that make me a bad person? Poor Steve.

Susanasherself, we get the sales calls too, but this one was where a text is sent to a landline number by mistake. I’ve done it myself. It sounds really odd.

Mie, I’d have giggled at that one too, though if four wheeling is driving he deserves to get stuck.

Maggie May, Cath’s is funny isn’t it. :D

Irene, you’re right, but I think it was a one off and probably innocent. I’ll keep an eye on the news though.

Sybil, snort, I should’ve known. :D

Daryl, it was a mobile to landline call, otherwise that would be mad, hee hee.

22 Nola 10.15.08 at 7:53 pm

Totally creepy. But I’d have had to investigate!!!

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