As I sit in the centre of the highest tier of Nottingham Royal Concert Hall which slopes down steeply towards a sheer drop to the stalls below, I am suddenly struck by a surge of adrenalin, a rush of panic and a certainty that I am going to fall, or even…
..jump. Hurl myself into oblivion.
Then I am flying, just for a moment, arms outstretched, head held high, toes pointed, air moulding my hair into a silken tunnel of wind. And just as suddeny, falling, falling, falling down to the crowd below.
I gulp as I struggle to draw breath. I glance at Rosie beside me, then stare up at the softly sound proofed ceiling, the puzzle of lights, the exit. I look anywhere but down at the stage, the vast open space that looms before me beckoning me to add a little substance to its airy emptiness.
So I learned something yesterday. Or should I say, I finally acknowledged something I should have accepted years ago.
I am not good in high places.
I’ve never really thought about this before, but last night something finally clicked as I swayed jerkily in my seat and gripped the arms as if at the top of a roller coaster, creeping uncontrollably towards the edge.
Will Young was very good though. I knew he would be, but I was surprised at his ease with the audience and how his voice has matured and strengthened. I really enjoyed it and his band and backing singers were fantastic.
What I enjoyed less was the bus ride home when a strange smell infiltrated our nostrils as it crept from the back to the front of the bus, and we realised that the young girl with blonde and blue hair had shared her evenings drinks with us. Seriously, it was so bad Rosie and I had to get off a stop early and plod down the hill in the freezing cold. The fresh air was goood though.
And talking of cold, that is the best way to describe our house at the moment.
C C C c c c c cold.
Our boiler has broken down so it’s no heating for us tonight. I’m not sure whether to let the mini B’s sleep in the same room, or even the same bed for warmth, or whether we should all camp out in the lounge with the gas fire.
Miss M is currently huddled up in bed nestled in pjs and a fleecy sleep suit. She was gobsmacked that I made her keep her vest on but seemed to find it an interesting novelty – weird kid.
When Miss E arrives in the land of nod I will pile on a few blankets and press her guard of teddies a little more closely around her face to keep the cold air from her small nose and ears.
As for me and Mr B? Well we’ll just have to snuggle.
![[MFM's mummy bloggers you really should read]](http://www.madeformums.com/news/images/mummybloggerlogo.jpg)
November 29th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I’m shivering with you Jo. Our boiler is currently working – currently – but there’s no telling when it will next throw a hissy fit and down tools. We’ve had 8 visits from engineers in the last two weeks. They think they’ve fixed. But they’re not really sure…
As for high places, I’m with you there too. I always have the urge to throw anything I might be carrying over the edge when I’m near a precipice. Coat. Hat. Bag. Camera. So I stay well back. I mean, I’ve never done it, but there’s always a first time.
November 29th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Hey, snuggling isn’t so bad! But, I hope that boiler gets fixed soon!
I, too, am afraid of high places. I get a bit tingly in my knees and my head starts to spin. I didn’t used to be that way…it’s just another lovely part of getting older!
November 29th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Enjoy the snuggling and dig out those socks.
As for high places, I too am with you on those. But sometiumes the urge to just ’see what might happen’ almost overwhelms me when am sat in theatre Gods. Don’t think it’s an experiment i’m willing to see through though…
November 30th, 2008 at 4:40 am
I have a terrible fear of heights and it renders me immobilized. I am no good at going up a skyscraper or any other tallish building. I have the desire to throw myself over the edge. I don’t know why, I am not suicidal. I am getting a new boiler on the 5th of December. I am looking forward to it, as it will be more economical and ecologically friendly.
November 30th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I’m the same with heights. Everytime we go to the MEN Arena in Manchester I have an uncontrolable urge to throw myself down the stairs! :0
November 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I used to do well with heights, specially roller coasters and ferris wheels…but not so much anymore…the one thing I couldn’t do was high bridges…scared the bejeebers out of me. I agree, pile up those wooly blankets and press in those teddies, and any excuse to snuggle is a good one!
Sandi
November 30th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Yes, I’m freezing too and our boiler is working!
November 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
What a gorgeous concert hall! I remember feeling a bit like that at a football game once when we were sitting in the nosebleed section.
November 30th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Bed socks. Totally the way forward!
Slap a load of cream on your feet and you wake up with gorgeously smooth feet too!
Hubby just shakes his head in disgust when I get them out of the draw. My ‘passion killers’ he calls them!
November 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Snuggling eh? We’ll check this blog again in 9 months!!
December 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 am
oh man, your description of rock and roll suicide had me all wigged out. eeekkk. High places don’t bother me, but thinking of someone falling like that does. ugh. glad you are okay.