Apparently I have a scratchy ant in my chest.
Sounds weird right? But according to recent medical opinion, there is little doubt. After examining me thoroughly with a stethescope and a ‘hammer to the arm’, Dr M, (4) , confidently diagnosed this little known condition.
I have to admit I was a little alarmed at first, especially when she confirmed it was eating my tummy, but having been injected with invisible medicine, given a cuddle and sprinkled with an empty plastic bottle of ‘tokey’ I’m sure all will be well.
Sighhhh.
It’s so good to have a doctor in the family, especially with the possibility of scratchy ants in your chest. I mean, now, if I get an itchy mouse in my ear or a persistent antelope in my left ventricle all I have to do is visit my youngest child in her surgery and let her work her magic.
Of course there have always been signs of Miss M’s genius. Just this weekend at Center Parcs she took it upon herself to check the Health and Safety Precautions in place at the kiddy Disco…
..and, she and her cousin ME (almost 5), finished a crossword in record time doing parts of it in a language too complex for most people to understand.
So amidst the stress and strain of our current situation there is a glimmer of hope. If all else fails Miss M will keep me in the way to which I have become accustomed. And we will never suffer from chest infestations by any of the ‘numerous black, red, brown, or yellow social insects of the family Formicidae‘, especially the scratchy kind, ever again.
Result.
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March 25th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
That other kid there in the photo is he wearing a tracking device on his wrist?
March 25th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
That’s formicidable.
March 25th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
oh you lucky, lucky lady….a doctor in the house? WOW! Miss M is brillant.
I’m glad to hear you are free of your scratching ants. those things suck!
March 25th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Ah you’ve nothing to worry about healthwise with a budding doctor in the house.
March 25th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Jo, maybe it’s just one of these things in your chest
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/
If it’s more serious than that you can get some repalcement organs for yourself at http://iheartguts.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=8
Cheers!
March 25th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Be worried about me.
After the first line or two I thought you had some rare disease and was all worried.
Sigh.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
A budding medical genius in the family eh? I only have star wars warriers so far that are far more interested in playing ‘I’m going to chop your head off’. Even when I was on my death bed recently the 3 yr old’s solution was just to keep licking my face like a baby puppy – might sound cute but in reality just very wet.
March 26th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Dr M to the rescue! If ever my family and I get scratchy ants we’ll know where to come.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Looks like you are in capable hands. Now NO scratching you hear! The ants might spread!
March 26th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
if the ‘tokey’ don’t heal you, there’s no hope for you. just so you know. maybe i shouldn’t have said anything, in fact, let’s pretend i didn’t.