I have decided.
I am almost definitely royalty.
I’ve been considering the possibility for a while, but recent occurrences, along with your comments yesterday, have persuaded me.
So, from this day forward I wish to be addressed as Queen Jo Beaufoix, High Empress and Madame Monarch of the Molluscs, Sovereign of the Slime, Guarder of the Gastropods, Regent of the Reticulatums.
It seems something about my personage is attractive to the disgusting slimey fiends, so I might as well get something out of it right?
So, this is my plan.
I will issue a proclamation declaring my demands in return for the use of my kitchen as a, erm, slug meeting place. It will read thus…
On entry to Chez Queen Beaufoix all none shell wearing small, legless icky creatures must:-
1. Pay £4.27 for the pleasure of leaving sticky residue on my floor.
2. Avert their eyes and antennae when I enter the room.
3. Cover their pneumostomes with a pink tutu, a pair of polka dot pantaloons or a ham sandwich whenever my children are around.
4. Not sing anything by Glenn Medeiros, Chris De burgh or Mr Blobby, ever. That’s, EVER.
I think that will do nicely.
Oh, and apparently, during research inspired by the gorgeous Karisma I have discovered that ”To dream that slugs are coming frm inside your body, suggests that you are having difficulties expressing some aspect of your emotion. Consider where in your body are the slugs coming out from.”
Isn’t that a lovey thought?
Frankly I’d rather have the real things in my kitchen rather than inside my head and coming out of my, well, anywhere really.
Bleurghhhhhhhhh.
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April 18th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Yes, it’s only right you should get a title out of the ordeal! Bow slugs! Bow!
April 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am
More salt, Maam?
April 19th, 2009 at 1:01 am
Crikey – yes you don’t want them coming out of your body. Yuck. Yes, definitely more salt needed I think… Maam…
April 19th, 2009 at 3:27 am
Ma’am, how would you like your slugs served today? With or without salt?
April 19th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Just round ‘em all up and sell them to the French – those French will eat anything!
Seriously – will someone explain to me the slug situation? Because it just blows my mind. I think someone told me before, but UGH! My mind must’ve blocked it out.
April 19th, 2009 at 10:04 am
If you really want to be called maam, you could just move to the midwest. Still can’t get used to my children’s friends calling me “Mrs Bloggs” instead of my first name, and kids I don’t know addressing me as “maam”.
Hey. Mrs Bloggs. That’s rather an apt name, now I come to think about it.
But slugs. Hm. I don’t even have anything to say about slugs. Yuk.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Oh I hate slugs, nasty, horrible,slimy things.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Slugs? In your HOUSE? Eeuuuuuwwwwwww – why? How? I need to read back…
April 20th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Stepping over the slime comments and wondering so where DO your dream slugs come out of anyway????????????
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:59 am
We had slugs in our living room..ugh! Could not put poison down [had no compunction about killing the yuks] because of Milou the dog. Eventually hit on the idea of putting the poison under the very heavy couch and it worked- only three of the horrors, but what a slimy mess they made.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:34 am
ugh HA:)
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:32 am
Go Gettem Jo!
Although, I would pay some serious money to see you put a slug in a tutu! LOL.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Hmmm. Me needs to do some reading. Slugs. Uck! and Ugh!
Coming out of your body in your dreams? Double Yuk!
Where out of your body? And what would that mean?