It’s been a bit of an emotional day. Miss M is full of cold and has been kind of clingy to the extent that she didn’t want to go to Daddy’s. Mr B gave her a huge cuddle then left with Miss E, while I put my ‘to do’ list on hold and snuggled my snotty little girl.
Two hours later after a good dose of calpol, a cheese sarnie and a chocolate mousse (for Miss M), Mr B rang up to inform Miss M he was off to the pub with Miss E.
The pub they could walk to.
The pub with the play park.
Her eyes lit up and after further reminders from me that if she stayed at Daddy’s tonight she might get to see Harry the Hog who Daddy ’snapped’ ambling into her wooden house last week…she decided to go for it.
Who wouldn’t??
When Miss E and Miss M phoned at bedtime, M asked to come home.
She could have, but while my heart was breaking a little bit I had to try to convince her to stay. Don’t get me wrong, if she was screaming and sobbing she’d be home in a second, but it was more of a ‘want Mummy’ moment, and she has a fantastic Daddy who I could hear in the background cheerfully promising cuddles, stories and a pancake breakfast.
It was blumming hard though. I never thought there’d be a time when I’d be trying to convince one of my children NOT to come home to me. I suppose it’s because she needs to see ‘home’ as with her Daddy too. I don’t know if I’ve got that right, but it just feels important that she stay there regularly and has proper Daddy time, and in the end it took very little persuasion.
I’m sat here now hoping she’ s sleeping happily. I think she must be. Her Daddy would have phoned if not and she’d be here. I’ll be wondering until I see her tomorrow afternoon, but I think we did the right thing.
And, talking of doing the right thing, earlier on today I bought a duck; in fact I bought three, and it’s all for charity, the lead one being the NSPCC. (That’s the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.)
Cute aren’t they?
“On Sunday the 6th September 2009 the ducks will be back in the water at Molesey Lock, near Hampton Court Palace for the 3rd Great British Duck Race and an attempt at our own World Record of 175,000 ducks.
As always there is a massive first prize of £ 10,000 for the first duck across the line as well as a further 30 great prizes for the runners up.”
And you can do it too by going here. It’s just £2 a duck, and Miss E and M will love the idea when I tell them about it tomorrow.
You know you always wanted a duck right?
![[MFM's mummy bloggers you really should read]](http://www.madeformums.com/news/images/mummybloggerlogo.jpg)
May 30th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Sure reads like you absolutely did the right thing. I can remember some people, who I respect immensely on a parenting front, telling me the hardest, yet most important part of parenting is to let the children go, do what is best for them even at the detriment to oneself. Top parenting, as always Jo.
And as for quality ducks, will have to give it a go.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
hugs to you for a hard decisions.
Love the ducks. a very similar thing happens here once a year. I’ve never participated though. HOpe yours wins.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
That is tough, but I am sure M, and E are having good snuggles with their Dad.
Love the ducks, we do a similar thing, here
May 31st, 2009 at 3:51 am
keeping on doing what you do jo, you are a brill mum. it is still early days for you all.small steps pal.xxx
May 31st, 2009 at 4:50 am
SPD, thanks lovely, that really helps. And I love the ducks I can’t wait to show E and M.
Corey thanks. We all have to make them sometimes don’t we? And I hope ours win too, but if not it’s just fun that we’re part of it.
Mie they will have been. I even heard him saying they’d all go to bed together. Bear in mind Miss M goes up t bed at 7pm, hee hee.
Ju, I learned form one of the best mate. Can’t wait to see you and give you the biggest hug. Won’t be long now. xx
May 31st, 2009 at 5:27 am
You’re kids are lucky to have such wonderful and mature parents.
May 31st, 2009 at 6:03 am
Hey that’s tough, but I’m so proud of the way you and Mr B are dealing with it.
May 31st, 2009 at 6:53 am
If we do this here, no one ever told me about it .. and I am sure you did the right thing ..
May 31st, 2009 at 8:12 am
It’s so easy to say, Oh come on home. You will instantly feel better and so will she, but for the long run it is better that she did not come home and that was tough on you and her, but the best decision. She does need to realize that home is also being with her Daddy and not just her Mum. By the way, Daddy is doing a fantastic job too, I hope he has people in his life telling him that.
You made the right decision, Jo. You didn’t let your mother’s heart strings pull her back to you, no matter if that hurt. You’ve got a lot of wisdom for a young mother.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:01 am
Re the duck tale – I remember a friend wanting to know how they got the ducks to stop at the finish line!
May 31st, 2009 at 11:05 am
Hilary thanks. I’m sure we won’t always get it right but I think we’re doing ok.
Iota thanks lovely. It is really hard at times. My sister-in-law said a very wise thing to me once. and that was always to keep the focus on the children and we should do ok. We’re mostly doing that and it is helping a ton.
Daryl I never heard of it till now but I love it. And thanks. xoxo
Gossamer Woman thanks. I don’t know if he has anyone telling him taht but I hope they are. He’s a good Daddy. And I love love love it when you call me young, hee hee.
(34 sometimes seems so old.)
May 31st, 2009 at 11:35 am
My youngest son and his ex have the same problem, their son spending time with mum during the week and weekends with Daddy. He tries to play them off against each other and they both find it difficult but it has got easier, just keep trying Jo. x
May 31st, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I think you’re right about the daddy time. As hard as it is the primary carer (usually the mother) does sometimes forget that the daddy loves the child just as much. With my situation I can honestly say it’s not the case; Amy has a father (her daddy is the Farmer, if you’re with me) who definitely could live without her.
Take care,
CJ xx
June 1st, 2009 at 11:15 am
You are such a fabulous mum. Seriously.
June 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Crikey sweetie – I’ve been away a few days and I’ve got three posts of yours to catch up on already… So I’ll make it quick here – just wanted to say you definitely did the right thing. I was reading something about children having bad dreams the other day and the advice was not to bring children into bed with you because it made them think that their bed was scary and yours was warm and comforting – and in the same way – you don’t want either of your children to think that Daddy can’t offer them as much comfort as you, even when they’re ill and snotty. If you’d let her come home she would have had the association of you being the comforter and not Daddy and it would have been harder in the future. There – told you I’d make it a short one! Love the ducks btw – my little ones would love them too. Might just have to buy a couple!
June 1st, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Growing and splitting pains– they will get easier for all of you. kids included.
Sounds like you are doing a great job.
We have duck races here in the states too… fun stuff