One lies softly curled around bear and dog. Hair tousled, mouth open, a gentle rumbling coming from her sleep filled throat. As I clamber over doll and teddy, book and CD, homework, coloured pencils, it strikes me that this one clings to things. Holds on. Surrounds herself with security, the familiar, the loved. And I kiss her sleep sweet cheek and move aside a blonde tress.
The other lays halfway down the bed. Favourite toys are scattered, but for one large shaggy pup who rests upon her small dark head, a nightcap and a cuddle. Covers are pulled up to still baby features. Books lay abandoned on her cool pillow. Yet more have made the journey down to the bean bag beside her bed. I tell her that it’s there for me to sit and read to her, but really it’s there to catch her should she fall. I kiss her warm, slightly damp forehead and pull back the covers a little to cool her down.
And as I leave the room a wave of heart filled tenderness sweeps through me, tinged with a tiny slither of ‘almost’ sadness. Because one has learnt the need to cushion herself. To shield herself from the darkness. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but it’s so like me as a child. I just hope she sees me as a cushion too
The other is less aware of the need for a soft landing. The need to look before you leap, take care, hold on. Those things I repeat to them both, day in day out. She rushes at life without looking back and without looking ahead. Sometimes she fills me with momentary terror, but mostly she lands on her feet
But right now they both sleep. Safe and warm and loved. And I am full.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Lovely, yet not so brilliant that the innocence of childhood is slowly ebbing away.
And if those wonderful girls wont lay on you, I’ll give it a go.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Hee hee, I didn’t mean that kind of cushion you loon. Or are you being cheeky. Tsk. and I know, Miss E has a certain vulnerability in some ways now she’s coming up nine, but there’s innocence there too, just a more guarded one perhaps.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Children are the most beautiful little things when they are asleep. It’s when they wake up they become terrors! Touchingly written x
June 17th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Aah, lovely picture you paint there. There is something about sleeping children that really pulls on the heart strings.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:18 am
I even still adore the sight of my very grown up sleeping daughter. It takes me back over the years back to when she was a little girl. That’s mother love for you. We’re forever stuck with it.
June 18th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Just keep reminding and being there when things arent smooth .. its what life is all about no matter how old you are
June 18th, 2009 at 11:43 am
This is the most beautiful and heart touching post I’ve read in a good long while. You’re amazing, you really are.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Beautiful thoughts. Thank you.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
This was incredibly moving, Jo. YOu blessed my hear with your words.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
A lovely post. We worry about our little ones all the time but when they are tucked up in bed we can sleep easy. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
June 24th, 2009 at 6:42 am
One of the things I most look forward to about becoming a Mum is watching my babies sleep. This is a beautiful post.