Miss M: ”Mummy, will you and Daddy kiss each other anymore.”
Me: ”Erm. No M. We care about each other but we’re better as friends.”
Miss M: ”But I like you to do kissing Mummy.”
Me: ”Erm…”
Miss M: ”But you did do shouting Mummy. My heard you and Daddy when my was next door and you did both shout and be cross. There was always fighting wasn’t there Mummy?”
Me: ”There was a lot M. And then Daddy and I realised that it would be better for us not to live together anymore, so we could be friends, and we could make happy houses.”
Miss M: ”How do you find a boy to marry Mummy? How did you find Daddy?”
Me: ”Well, Daddy’s friend was my friend’s boyfriend, and Daddy used to walk me home sometimes, and we talked and laughed a lot and liked each other and then we fell in love, and got married and had E and you.”
Miss M: ”And you did long kisses like Princes and Princesses?”
Me: ”Sometimes.”
Miss M: ”I want to kiss you like a Prince and Princess, Mummy. Let’s do a long kiss.”
Me: ”Well that’s a special kind of kiss for people who are in love in a romantic way M. Mummies and kids kiss in a different way.”
Miss M: ”Why do you kiss me if I’ve got a poor poor Mummy?”
Me: ”To make you better M. To show I love you and care about you.”
Miss M: ”And caring is important isn’t it Mummy?”
Me: ”It’s very important sweetheart. It’s one of the most important things in the world ever.”
Miss M: ”And being a good girl is important.”
Me: ”Well it’s good to try babe.”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I think, ‘Are we done? Has she finished?’ Our little talk has amazed me. She seems so mature and so aware for her four and a half years. She doesn’t much talk about about mine and her daddy’s separation, and it’s hard to discern what she understands and how she feels. But then, when I least expect it she blows me way with her questions and the depth of her thought.
I look down at her face. Her eyes are glazed with pondering as well as sleep and I wait to see if there is more. I wonder what they might have talked about at school that has perhaps unleashed these thoughts? Or were they just ready to come? Whatever it is I am glad they have come. While some of them were difficult to hear and handle, I need her to know that it’s ok to ask. So when her eyes dart back to my face and she takes a deep breath I am ready. For whatever she throws at me I am ready.
Miss M: ”Mummy?”
Me: ”Yes babe?”
Miss M: ”Do shops have keys?”
September 4th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Kids need honesty. Funny thing is, I learned that as a nurse. If it’s gonna hurt, you tell them. They handle things better than the majority of the adults I know. Your girls both seem like very bright children to me, and I bet that even though they miss the family you once were, they appreciate the calm of the family you are, now.
Nice handling of the difficult questions…
but tell me, do shops have keys?
September 4th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Tell her key shops have keys, and so do music shops. Could she be planning what to get you for Christmas already? She sounds wonderfully switched on for a four year old.
Mya x
September 4th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Well, do they?
September 4th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Is the pope a catholic?
September 4th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
She’s hilarious! I thought princes came from frogs.
Why have I never asked if shops have keys?
Do they I wonder?
September 4th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
What a wonderful conversation you had, and I think you handled it well.
Sugar wants long kisses as well. tee hee….
NOw I need to know though…do shops have keys?
September 5th, 2009 at 3:50 am
This is like a little flassback for me Jo, remember all these times, you’ll be thankful for them in the years to come. And go find out about the keys, because now loads of people need to know.
September 5th, 2009 at 4:12 am
My daughter thought that people lived and slept in the shops and that they had no homes to go to. Here they had all that food to eat too. It seemed logical to her. She thought there was a place in the back with beds and everything. I like little kids and all the interesting thoughts they have. So, you won’t be kissing Mr B anymore then? Find yourself another fellow to kiss, but take your time, please.
September 5th, 2009 at 5:06 am
this is so awesome. kids are amazing. what a great conversation!
September 5th, 2009 at 5:31 am
These little people take stuff on the chin. Miss M is so lovely.
September 5th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Utterly wonderful! Miss M the marvel!
September 5th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Everything is so simple to children isn’t it? They’re wonderful.
September 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Quality transcription.
I love how children can switch from the serious, to daft, sentence-by-sentence.
September 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Oh she’s just so gorgeous. I do so love talking to my children. It’s the best thing ever.
September 5th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Mie I think you’re right. I’m just glad she was able to express some of this stuff. ANd some shops have keys, some have shutters with remote control zapper things, and some are just a table by the side of the road. I know stuff me.
Mya, Oooooh maybe she’s planing a robbery. Hmmm, I may have to write her a list. ;D
Josh, some have keys, some have donkeys, a few have monkeys. ;D
Willowtree, yes. And shops mostly have keys. And the pope probably has a key, but someone maybe holds it for him as his outfit doesn’t look like it has pockets. Or, maybe he has a bumbag under his cassock??
Rosie, can you believe we had this conversation when she seemed so exhausted earlier? Mad.
Corey, isn’t it funny, the kiss thing? What are they like? And re the keys, ask Sugar. Kids know stuff you know.
The Woman Who Can, I will. Blogging is brilliant for remembering it all isn’t it? I wish I’d known about them earlier as I’ve forgotten so much of Miss E’s daft moments.
Irene, it’s so funny what they think. E was so surprised when she first saw one of her teachers outside of school. She was like “Why is Maggie here Mummy? Why isn’t she at school?” And yes, there will be no more kissing of Mr B, and Im not in a hurry for a new man either. I need to spend some time with me. Though if a nice one came along in a year or so then who knows.
Hilary they are aren’t they? So complicated and funny and puzzling and hilarious.
Insomniac Mummy they have amazed me. And yes she is, though I’m a but biased. ;D
Dumdad I love it. Our kids are very cool aren’t they?
Akela they are. Sometimes we grown ups make things far too complicated don’t we? x
SPD, I love that too. It’s the funniest thing and sometimes it takes a moment to catch up with them. I love those moments. You’re thinking, errrrrm?????
Maternal Tales it is. You never know what they’re going to come out with next, and sometimes they just hit stuff on the head completely and amaze you.
September 7th, 2009 at 9:35 am
She is such an amazing girl. Not just inquisitive, but so perceptive for her age. I think you handled it beautifully.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Ok, that got me.
September 8th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Well…do shops have keys then?