I haven’t been to London much.
When I was a kid I had plans to head off to the big city and make my way as a writer. I’d live in this leaky and yet some how cosy flat, with fifties decoration and an eccentric but loveable old couple next door who’s cat would sometimes poop in the hall but who were always smiling. I’d be working for Smash Hits Magazine (obviously), interviewing popstars and wearing kookie clothes, and no one would mind that I was a little…different.
Except I was only that person inside my head. In real life I didn’t believe enough to try.
But every time I go to London now I feel like that kid again. Not in a bad way, but in a wide eyed, hopeful, entertained kind of way. It makes me feel fresh, I suppose because it’s a place of discovery, and when you’ve lived one place your whole life there’s not always that much to discover, or you forget how to look.
One of the things I love most about the big smoke is the people. Not the grumpy ones who bump into you and don’t seem to have learnt the words “Oh sorry, my bag just knocked your head a little askew. Would you like me to summon a physician?”, but the others, you know, the ones you can’t help but see.
Like ‘Hat Man’, cleverly named because he stands on the platform of the Picadilly line wearing approximately 5 trilbys, all perched neatly one on top of the other in a surreal balancing act. Varying in colour they draw the eye and raise such questions as:
- Why is that man wearing all those hats?
- Does he swap them round each day?
- Is one his thinking hat, one his dinner hat, one his clean out the rabbit hat and one his look really tall in a tube station hat?
- Does he know he’s got them on?
- Is he dangerous?
- Would it be wise to keep staring at him?
My favourite ‘people moment’ is the encounter with the big shoes and the tiny small man.
Again I’m standing on the edge of a platform on the Piccadilly line. I don’t get into the first train with Hatman. It is stuffed to bursting and I can’t quite face ‘oozing’ into the liquid mercurial mass. Another tube is due in 5 minutes so I step back a little and wait. Beside me there is a young emo couple. Tall and broad in a mish mash of dark fabrics and textures, the girl stands to my left, her back margined by two long dark plaits.
To my right, there is a tiny, tiny business man. Short and square in a navy pin striped suit, his eyes are rooted to a spot just in front of the yellow safety line. I follow his gaze and see them.
The boots..
That’s why she’s so tall. On emo girl’s feet are things that look a little like caterpillar boots, but with the most enormous soles ever. Seriously, it looks like she’s sporting a couple of black shiny hovercrafts, a bit like the ones below but with a much wider platform.
I glance back at the tiny small man and he is still looking.
I check my watch, look again at the man and he’s STILL looking, and it’s then I see it, just behind his eyes. Cogs are turning, pistons pumping and he’s thinking, “If I had them, I would be tall.”
His eyes widen slightly, then meet mine briefly and we both look away, but when I look back he is once more coveting the boots.
Sighhhh. It was a moment.
Anyway, finally there is the enormous pigeon and the man dressed as a haddock that I mentioned in yesterday’s post.
You know, the post about honesty, integrity, and keeping it real?
Except, well, I didn’t.
I lied.
Because there was no giant pigeon, and nobody was dressed as a haddock, which is probably a good thing, otherwise the giant pigeon would undoubtedly have eaten the man sized haddock and that would have been unpleasant.
So you’ll forgive me right? Because apart from that, I never lie.
Honest.
Which is why I will be completely truthful when I tell you that yesterday, as well as being interviewed by Shiny Red, I also got the chance to meet (though briefly) the very lovely and engaging and ‘not at all as feisty as she is on the telly’ Lowri Turner who freely admits to burning food, being scared of spiders and occasionally forgetting how many kids she is supposed to be picking up from school and therefore leaving one behind, (breathe), and, the fabulous team behind new ‘real Mums’ website Super Savvy Me, a site already featuring the writing of our very own yummy Mummy ‘Tara Sticky Fingers Cain’.
AND, I got to have lunch with one of my bezzie mates in the hold world ever Rosie Scribble , yummy Tara, a very slim and healthy looking Single Parent Dad (who enthusiastically took home my Pampers Gift of Life parcel – it was yours Rosie, but then it was mine), lovely Tim from Bringing up Charlie (with Charlie), the fabulous Dulwich Divorcee, gorgeous Susanna aka A Modern Mother, twitterer extraordinaire Who’s the Mummy, and the wise and wonderful and very, very kind and lovely Potty Mummy.
There’s no wonder I’m shattered really is there? Sighhhhh. And it’s 1am and I have to pack for a weekend away in Spain, and a few days in Scarborough, and for my girls two nights at Granny’s….and, and, that’s why I copied and pasted all your links Rosie. In case they looked familiar.
See, honest.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:13 am
I think London has that effect on everybody. It certainly does me. (I wrote about a character I encountered en route to London today. I’m sure you can relate.) Very fun post! And I’m so excited about your upcoming trip to Spain. We LOVE it there! Bon Voyage!
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
@charrette: Thanks lovely. And that post is brilliant. Very spooky.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:17 am
I have the same feeling for New York. I used to have firm plans to go and live there.
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
@Mwa: I just want to visit, just once. I will do it one day.
Blog Her 2010 would be good but don’t think the purse will manage it. 
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:21 am
And THAT is why you are no. 1. Great post, Jo. x
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
@Potty Mummy: Ahhhh you are fab PM. ANd your conkers post is fabulous dwahling. x
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:23 am
Great post, Jo. Who would have thought we’d be eating with chopsticks (snort) in a ‘dead posh’ hotel in London?
Anyway, Ian is claiming that he left your very precious life-saving parcel-that-would-have-changed-the-lives-of-so many-women-and-children- for-the-better ON THE BLOODY TRAIN!!
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
@Rosie Scribble: I know. He’s very sorry though so we shouldn’t make him suffer too much. ;D
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 am
Yeah, I am an idiot, I even joked about it with Tara, then went and left it. It’s Rosie’s fault anyway, she should have told me to put it in my bag, she was the responsible adult amongst us.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
@SingleParentDad: I know. I blame Rosie too. She should have known better. ;D
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:54 am
What larks, what adventures you have!
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@Dumdad: It is mad, but omg it’s fun. Next time you’re over we should plan another.
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 am
Glad you had such a great time in town
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@Liz@VioletPosy: It was fab. Can’t wait to see you too one day lovely.
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:14 am
Sounds like fun! I am however disappointed at the lack of Haddock Man
.
Those shoes, OMG! She must’ve been weighted to the floor!
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@Insomniac Mummy: Ahhhh forgive me lovely. And I know, she must have calves like a rugby player.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:29 am
Lovely to see you and looking forward to lots more adventures – I wonder what the Spanish for haddock is ……
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@Dulwich Divorcee: And you too. It will be so nice to actually get to talk. The only SPanish I know unfortunately is from Dora The Explorer so Haddock is way beyond me. Haddockio?? ;D
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
No haddock but lots of bloggers. Sounds like a good deal.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Iota: It was so lovely Iota. Now we just have to find a way for you to join us too.
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:17 am
I have always wanted to visit London. Sounds similar in feeling to NYC.
I love how tiny man secretly and silently admired the tall boots.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
@Susanasherself: I think so too. And it really tickled me seeing his eyes linger over the enormous footwear. I wanted to pat him on the head which would have been very wrong.
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 am
Pah! London is nothing without my presence, admit it. That pretnder Ian could never take the place of the one true king of daddyblogging.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:53 pm
@Dan: Yes yes Dan. It’s ok. We still love you, honest.
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Arggghhhhh. Sorry everyone, I tried a new plug in and it looked like it replied to your comments after the post, but, well, it bloody doesn’t. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.