I’m spiralling again. Down down down, a crumpled brown leaf swirling on a river of rain into the dark dank depths. I know it’s my hormones. I can actually taste it now. A hint of metal, the oncoming of the red, and the grey and the black. But at least I know why, and that it will end.
At least PMDD only takes complete control for just a few days a month now. It lurks and meddles on others, but the days when it rules are less, though still very powerful. Sometimes I am in awe of its strength. That a surge of something, or a deficit of something else can take me from dizzying joy to a feeling of inconsolable despair in the space of a day. The suicidal urges are pretty much gone now. I’m so grateful to my meds for that, but the panic and the exhaustion and the mood swings are still here and sometimes they are overwhelming.
So I’m going to bed.
My lovely Mum and Dad and sister are in Australia this month, so I am chief school deliverer and pick up to four little girls aged from 3 to 9. I need to sleep not only so I can do this safely, but so that I can do it with a smile.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I’m sending you a big hug. It’s the worst, and even knowing what it is doesn’t make it go away. xxx
November 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Hang on in there lovely.
(((((Hugs)))))
x
November 9th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Fell better soon!
xoxoxo!
November 9th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Hugs and smoochies xxoxox
November 9th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Hang on in there. We love you in Blogland.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Get some sleep and then a bit more if you can. I’d never heard of it before – just read your linked post and was pretty surprised. Mostly surprised because I found a load of symptons on there that I can relate to that i didn’t realise were all (most likely) part of the same thing. Very interesting.
So, sorry to hear you are feeling pants, hope it passes quickly enough and you are bright and breezy this morn but thankful to have read you linked post.
xx
November 9th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I hope you feel better soon, sweetheart, it’s the pits, isn’t it?
November 10th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Deep breath, get some sleep, some rest and wait to come out the other side. Big hugs. xxx
November 10th, 2009 at 3:12 am
Chin up lovely. X
November 10th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Hang on, and dream of Euro Disney xx
November 10th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Have a good sleep and remember that we are all thinking of you.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:02 am
You can get through this. Grit your teeth and it will pass.
Thinking of you.
RMxx
November 10th, 2009 at 6:20 am
Hope the sleep helps, have you started on the evening primrose or starflower oil??
November 10th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Hoping you feel better soon.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Boooooooooooooo. Sorry to hear it!!! Do something kind to yourself. Taking care of yourself is just as imnportant as taking care of others. I send you good energy across the pond!
November 10th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Oh honey boo – horrible. More than horrible. Wish I could give you a big big hug. Glad you’e feeling a bit better today (am reading your posts backwards)!! Anyway, when you coming to visit me in Brighton?? I’ll cheer you up xxxxxxxxxxxx
November 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
i feel for you mrs.
hang in there i will call you.
juxxxxx