I’ve gone all posh.
No really.
I never thought it would happen, but I now have staff, a personal trainer to be exact! He’s tall, pale, sort of interesting looking in a weirdly two dimensional way and he’s on call anytime I want him. He’s polite, encouraging, fit (obviously), and he doesn’t poke me in my flabby bits and mock me when I get all out of breath and sweaty , or call me a ‘lardy arsed old harridan’ or other such untruths, which would probably put me off. Sounds perfect right?
But, well, I do have one problem with him.
He’s too nice.
Don’t get me wrong, I prefer being guided by him than by a perfectly toned bint in a leotard and designer trainers who probably wouldn’t even perspire if she was working out in a fur coat, in a furnace, but I can’t help thinking that I might be more inspired by one of those Ex Sergeant Major types, or a bloke with a cattle prong, or perhaps Hugh Jackman.
“But how could you convince Hugh Jackman to take time out of his busy schedule to pop over to chez Beaufoix and put you through your paces dear Jo?” I hear you ask.
Well, I could if my Wii Fit Plus had an option where I could choose someone a bit more interesting than the Green Cross Code man, to be my personal fitness Guru.
I mean how cool would that be?
Wii Balance Board: ”Would you like to be trained by Madam Skinny Arse McPerfect Busms, or one of these lovely specimens Ms Beaufoix?”
Option A
Option B
Option C
I mean, it wouldn’t be that difficult for the lovely folks at Nintendo to sort right??
And they could do something equally fitting for their male customers. (I’d suggest Anne Widdicombe, Ann Diamond or Anne of Green Gables.)
Cough.
So yes, you’ve guessed it, this is either a review cunningly disguised as a homage to some lovely men, or a homage to some lovely men cunningly disguised as a review.
I’ll leave the decision to you.
If you decide it’s a review then it would be useful for me to point out that:
- I actually big pink puffy heart my Wii Fit Plus almost as much as my children. Almost.
- That it was really easy to set up and is equally easy to use, even for a techno simpleton such as I
- That the exercises are brilliant and if I don’t hula hoop my waist down to ’silflike’ (whatever a silf is) by the New Year I will be gobsmacked
- That Misses E and M are so much more co-ordinated than me and that the Mii they have created for me looks a little like Carol Thatcher
- That I would prefer it to set the higher level of my healthy BMI for a goal as I am too skinny at the lower level and I felt a bit dictated to
- That at first there is more watching than exercising but that that is changing fast as I’m getting better at it
And if you decide this isn’t a review then just enjoy the boys.
P.S. I’m allowed to call them boys as if they’re just there for decoration I’m already being a little un-pc. Might as well go the whole hog.
P.P.S. And yes I did get a Wii and Wii Fit Plus in exchange for this post, but I promise I tried to make it more attractive than the usual reviews. I think I did ok. Don’t hate me.
P.P. S. S. What does P.P.S.S stand for anyway?
November 19th, 2009 at 10:25 am
You are a naughty lady. Something on your mind?
November 30th, 2009 at 3:36 am
My bottom is on my mind. It needs to shrink.
November 19th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Ahhhhh Simon Baker.
*Swoooon*
Did you say something Jo?
November 30th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Nope, nothing, Simon Baker, swoon.
November 19th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Hugh Jackman *sigh*
November 30th, 2009 at 3:37 am
I know, sighhhhh
November 19th, 2009 at 10:47 am
My Wii Fit age was 61. I was so insulted I never went back to it.
Still, I might for these boys. I fancy almost no-one, yet these three happen to fall into my ‘well, you would, wouldn’t you?’ category. May I commend you on your good taste.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Hugh Jackman – yumm! Simon Baker – gorgeous, but who is he? (sorry!)
Love the review!Enjoy the wii fit and don’t get too carried away – a friend had to have an op on leg after crashing into a sofa!
November 30th, 2009 at 3:46 am
Hi Diney. Hugh Jackman is yum, and Simon Baker is from The Mentalist which is fab. Have a peep here…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mentalist
November 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I’m with Supermum…oh Hugh!
Keep us posted on all that waist whittling Jo! (And isn’t just so impressive but also mightily galling at just how much more coordinated our kids are than us?)
xx
November 30th, 2009 at 3:51 am
Nicola I know, you should see them playing tennis. I can’t even hit the imaginary ball.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I agree about Hugh Jackman. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
November 30th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Susan he’s lovely isn’t he? I just watched Wolverine, sighhhhh.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Hmmmph, all that sighing (above). Ladies, behave! If I were to follow suit you’d be outraged. (Actually, if I were to follow suit there’d be a problem, but the less said about that…)
Anyway, what I came here to say was this. This post, Jo Beaufoix, proves once and for all (if proof were needed) that you are, indeed, the Queen of bloggers. Forever. Amen. I mean… a Wii? Really?
Can I come and play?
November 30th, 2009 at 4:06 am
Tim, you can come and play any time. And thanks, but I’m far too young to be the Queen don”t you know? Can I be the princess?
November 19th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
So, queen of bloggers, are you going to give us weekly updates on your progress? Now that might persuade me to go out and buy one of those bad boys… (obviously I’m talking about the Wii. Obviously…)
November 30th, 2009 at 4:09 am
Potty, I don’t know about weekly… And if I could get you one of those bad boys for you I would…the wii I mean.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Oooh, thank you for that. Hugh is delicious. I though Wiis were a waste of space but you’ve started to change my mind. So, no I don’t object to the promotion – it’s educational and rather titillating. Thank you!
November 19th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
So, can I?
November 30th, 2009 at 4:09 am
You can young man. x
November 19th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
A most excellent review my dear! And if its anywhere near as fun as the wii sports (which by the way ended up with us purchasing a new ping pong table as a result) , I think I want one! I will take Hugh thanks! LOL! So where do we sign up?
November 30th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Thanks lovely, and it is so fun. And Hugh is very popular isn’t he.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Please?
November 30th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Hee hee, snort.
November 20th, 2009 at 5:36 am
if they could actually get some sort of virtual eye candy for you to choose as your personal trainer i would even consider getting one!
thank you for the pictures, brightened up my day no end…
November 30th, 2009 at 4:16 am
Heather it would be fab wouldn’t it? So so fab.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
You know those aren’t actually Cybermen, right? Think you’ve blown it with David Tenant…
November 30th, 2009 at 4:17 am
Ahhhhh, you’re right. I am only half geek you know,so it’s forgiveable.
November 21st, 2009 at 4:48 am
OK so I was actually just bent over cackling with tears streaming out of my eyes. It hurt, Jo!
November 30th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Sorry hon. When we meet I will hug you better. x