Jo Beaufoix | Archive

Gifts for the Ex

16. December 2009

I have a question.
What do you get for the man in your life who is no longer ‘the man’ in your life but who will always be the man in your kids’ lives?
I’ve been putting this off a little I think, but with 9 sleeps till Christmas it’s definitely about time I got off my [...]

I am so NOT the villain, tsk

14. December 2009

12 Comments

Alas I have created a monster. Having taken Misses E and M to two pantos recently, it seems my smallest child has found yet another tool with which to torment and malign me. Seriously that kid is too cheeky.
It’s bath time. In fact it’s the end of bath time. You know, the ‘check conditioner is [...]

Aladdin at the Mansfield Palace Theatre

14. December 2009

3 Comments

I have to admit, it’s a long time since I visited my local Panto. Mad really, as when I was little we went pretty much every year and I loved it. The thing is, our last attempt at Pantomime fun was thwarted by a 35 week pregnant Ms Beaufoix falling down the stairs and breaking [...]

Why does my child do this? And where could it lead?

12. December 2009

19 Comments

Tonight, as we sit watching X Factor at my Mum and Dad’s, Miss M decides to put us to the test once more.
Miss M: ”Granny, was Santa born in somebody’s tummy?”
Granny: ”Erm, probably M…, gulp”
Oh
My
Bob!
Seriously, sometimes this child amazes me. She thinks about stuff much more than I ever did. I suppose she’s a true [...]

Leaving You in Suspenders

11. December 2009

6 Comments

Ms Beaufoix is not available.
She has exploded.
Normal blogging may resume tomorrow.
Drunken blogging may even resume tonight – which isn’t particularly a bad thing as Ms Beaufoix’s drunken blogging is on occasion quite deep and meaningful. On other occasions it is not, and involves the words burble, parsnip and hyperbole, but tonight it might be a [...]

Miss E Reads the News

9. December 2009

14 Comments

Today was one of those proud Mummy days. My little girl had her first speaking part in the school play. No wait, I’m lying. In nursery she was Mary in the nativity and uttered the immortal words, ‘Joseph, I’m going to have a baby’ in a tiny voice that only the front [...]

Miss M changes history…

8. December 2009

4 Comments

And if you want to know how Miss M might possibly have got away with saying the word ‘wanky’ to her Grandad, please go here. It’s all for charity don’t you know.

4 Year Old harassment Shock

7. December 2009

23 Comments

Several Nottingham revellers were said to be shocked and concerned on Saturday night, when a 4 year old girl was heard discussing the abuse of an elderly street person.
The small child, dressed in jeans, a large, pink, marshmallow-like coat, Tinkerbell hat, gloves and scarf, and accompanied by an older child in a short black and [...]

Why? No Really, WHY?

5. December 2009

24 Comments

I have nothing against people with Bladder Infections. No really, I’ve had them myself. But, well, ok, let me put it like this…
1. You have a large hairy growth on your big toe. It’s been there about a week and is already the size of a small hedgehog. It doesn’t hurt, but there is a [...]

Kid Sick

4. December 2009

14 Comments

It seems my family hasn’t had enough of the lurgy this year. Miss E came home from school with a high fever, a pale face and as much energy as a very tired prune.
When we arrive home I help her from the car while Miss M heads for the little girl’s room. [...]