If I knew of a place you could go where they would remove unwanted body unpleasantries, for example, the large hairy mole that looks like it has a face and a moustache that sprouts out of your shoulder and that you occasionally talk to…you would want me to tell you right?
And if I knew of somewhere you could get a bespoke ‘Turtle does Tango’ outfit for your small aquatic friend…you would want me to tell you right?
AND,
If I knew of a secret way to stop you spending hours going all round the houses, hitting dead ends, going up one way streets, down iffy litter strewn alleyways that smell of sausage rolls, and falling into gaps between badly laid paving stones… you would want me to tell you right?
So, you won’t have a problem with me telling you about a place where you can find how to do Valentine’s Day on the cheap, but not actually look cheap yourself. Because that’s a good thing right? Sighhhh, is it not wonderful?
I especially like this one,
‘Make a Kiss Basket’
put together a basket filled with slips of paper that each say a different way to kiss…challenge yourself to come up with 50 different kisses that you’d love to give your lover.
I mean any man/lady would like a list of kisses rather than a trip to Paris, a bunch of roses or some Carte D’or Earrings any day of the week right?
So I have decided to begin my own list of 50 Ways to Snog your Lover, to get you on your way.
1. French
2. Sloppy
3. Noisy
4. Teeth clashing
5. Cheek peck
6. Nibble on ear
7. Wearing Wellingtons
8. Standing on a box
9. While being watched by your goldfish
10. Quite close to a monkey
The next 40 I’m hoping might come from you lot in the way of comments. Come on, be inventive. The winner gets a box of chocolates I purchased cheap from Boots but which have to be eaten by March 2010.
And the losers? Well there are no losers at chez Beaufoix because you still get access to the fabulous Valentines bargains made available to you through promotional discount codes for everything from Hallmark to Hamleys. AND they’re listed alphabetically and also have a latest codes bit so you don’t miss out on any new bobby dazzler deals.
Am I not kind and wonderful and quite possibly almost a genius?
And, if I got a little incentive for writing this post you would want me to tell you right? Well, I did, but I made it fun and solved your Valentines worries too, which makes me kind hearted and lovely and worthy of throwing your kisses at.
So do your worst. Bring on the snogs.
Mwah
Photo Credit and adapted here
January 21st, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Whilst your mouth is full of Cadbury Creme Egg.
Yeah I’m *that* woman.
January 21st, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Oooohhh might have to try that one. Yum.
January 21st, 2010 at 3:31 pm
69 kiss
under a blanket kiss
lip-nipping kiss
January 21st, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Hee hee, under blanket kiss. Lovely
January 21st, 2010 at 3:42 pm
in the kitchen kissing…
uh…
I don’t know, you had me with the wellies! I like that one
January 21st, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Hmmmmmm, I have an interesting image in my head now young lady.
January 21st, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Kissing in the rain. Yum.
January 21st, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Oh yes. Makes me think of Bridget Jones Diary. Sighhhhhhh.
January 21st, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Kissing
in the rain
on a train
in a secret place
on the lips
on the forehead
at a slow, excruciating pace.
January 21st, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Sighhhhh. I want to kiss you now hon. x
January 21st, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Kissing . . . when you shouldn’t be
(gasp!)
January 21st, 2010 at 5:08 pm
ooooooh fab.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Yessss
January 23rd, 2010 at 1:42 am
Kissing hot lips,
When you’re frozen to the bone,
Kissing hot lips,
You fumble and groan,
Kissing hot lips,
You lay down on the lawn,
Kissing hot lips,
Now you feel warm.
Mwah xx
January 24th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
That is brilliant. We may have a winner here young lady.
January 23rd, 2010 at 10:10 pm
sigh….kisses….butterfly kisses (eyelashes fluttering on the cheek.)
January 24th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
I love those Corey. Miss M and Miss E do those all the time. And Eskimo kisses where you rub noses. Awwwwwww.
January 25th, 2010 at 5:39 am
All I can think of now is Green Eggs and Ham – not on a train, not in the rain, not with a fox, not under socks etc etc.