Is it cliques or just friendships? Aren’t we all the same?

Fri, Jan 22, 2010

Blog

I am not writing this post to villify, upset or offend anybody.  I am writing it because I am so sad and low and overwhelmed.

I commented on a post last night.  It was a post that I am sure was intended to  be a positive and warm outreaching to new bloggers.  Tots 100 Author and Mummy blogger Sally Whittle has begun a meme to encourage new bloggers to comment.  I have no issue with that.  Commenting is fab.  It creates discussion, it builds friendships, and it’s fun.  Hell a blog without comments is a lonely place if you’re in it for the friendships.

But what upset me, not so much from that post but also from comments flying around twitter, facebook, BMB, is an underlying feeling of an ‘us and them’ situation, and the accusation of there being ‘cliques’.

So late at night, after seeing a tweet, I commented…

It may not have been the right thing to do.  But blogging used to be about having fun, exploring and making new friends.  Yes there were established bloggers, but they were there because they had been doing it longer.  You commented and if they commented back you’d made a friend.  If not you assumed they were too inundated with life and just couldn’t answer everything.   Look back at any older blogger’s early posts and you can see we all started with no comments, no friends and a little tentatively.  But we carried on because we loved it.

I haven’t the time now to write a deep and heavy post about oldies and newbies.  I hate all of that anyway and I have two little girls to get to school just like anyone else.  But I would love to get it out there and give people a chance to say how they really feel.

I think anyone who knows me will be aware I’m a nice person.   I really do care about what I say and do on the internet and try always to be kind, as do every single one of the bloggers who have become true friends as well as blog buddies.  My motives are nothing but good.  I just feel this needs sorting out before it all explodes.  Please if you feel the need, are interested, upset, angry, don’t even think there’s an issue, please comment here.  You can be anonymous if it makes you feel better.  I just think there’s some stuff that maybe needs to be said and needs to be heard, positive or negative.  Otherwise more people are going to feel sad and hurt and the community, which truly does exist, is going to be a darker place without it.

As I said in my second comment at Sally’s,

I’m not trying to create an argument here I promise. I just feel there’s something coming into blogging that hasn’t been there before and it makes me sad that there seems to be a ‘them and us’ thing. Blogging is meant to be fun. If someone is in it for a different reason then that may be where the problem lies.

Go out and have fun everybody. Please please please.

UPDATE

Comments have now been closed on this post.  It was never my intention to cause upset.  I suppose what has been highlighted is that there is a lot of ill feeling out there and that’s what makes me so sad.  I will be removing/editing some comments  for legal reasons.

, , , ,

53 Responses to “Is it cliques or just friendships? Aren’t we all the same?”

  1. Lilacspecs Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:14 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  2. Josie @Sleep is for the Weak Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:18 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  3. Anonymous Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:34 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  4. Dan Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:58 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  5. Frog in the Field Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:08 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  6. Maternal Tales Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  7. Anonymouse Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  8. MissSearles Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  9. Linda Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  10. SandyCalico Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:42 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  11. Anonymouserus Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:51 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  12. EnglishMum Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:06 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  13. Anonymouse Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:23 am

    Comment has been removed for legal reasons

  14. Anonnimiss Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:23 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  15. Karisma Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:26 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  16. Its a mummys life Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:34 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  17. Catherine Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 5:01 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  18. Sally, Who's the Mummy Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 5:05 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  19. Sally, Who's the Mummy Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 5:42 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  20. Anonnimiss Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 5:47 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  21. Jen@alphamummy Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 6:24 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  22. Frog in the Field Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 6:30 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  23. LOVEMYBABY Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 6:40 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  24. Liz@VioletPosy Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 6:53 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  25. Dulwich Divorcee Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 7:34 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  26. Heather Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 7:37 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  27. Bellevelma Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 8:11 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  28. A Modern Mother Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  29. Sybil Law Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 9:15 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  30. nappyvalleygirl Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  31. Brit In Bosnia Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 10:51 am

    This comment has been deleted on the request of the author

  32. Another 'unknown' Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 11:56 am

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  33. Brit In Bosnia Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    This comment has been deleted at the request of the author

  34. charrette Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  35. Too scared to leave my real name Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  36. Anonnynonnynomouse Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  37. Dulwich Divorcee Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  38. Nicknackpaddywackanonanory Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  39. Josie Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  40. Liz (LivingwithKids) Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  41. Sally, Who's the Mummy Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  42. - Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Comments have been removed for legal reasons

  43. Ladybird World Mother Says:
    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Comments removed for legal reasons

  44. Anotheranon Says:
    January 23rd, 2010 at 2:27 am

    Comments have been removed for legal reasons


Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The one where I thought my blog was dead | Jo Beaufoix says:
    May 23, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    [...] why I opted out of the Tots 100, why I duck when there are Award Ceremonies, why I wrote THAT post last year, and why I find myself floating more and more on the edges of the Mummy Blogging world, [...]