I need to vent.

You don’t have to read, honest, I won’t be offended.
And you don’t have to solve it for me either, it just is what it is and that’s that.

But.

Grrrrrargghhhhhhhhhhhhgggggghhh

Bum, bugger, horlicks, basketry

Nnnnnnnggggggggggrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Cough.  Swallow.  And breathe…
So this is the thing.

The thing is

Why is it that banks will lend people who already have a lot of money (and therefore a ton of other outgoings, credit commitments etc,) a load MORE money when they want to buy a house,  while little old me just wanting to buy 25% of a house and therefore a little security for me and my girls, can’t?

I have 10% deposit.  I only need to borrow around £32’000 and yet because 8 years ago Mr B and I had some money issues which ended in 2009 when we separated, sold our house and paid off our debts (which we never defaulted on, no ccjs etc), I am too risky.

Even though I pay more in rent now.

I am too risky.

Even though I have a permanent job, a perfect track record with my landords’ and am a sensible, hard working mother of two,

I am too risky.

Even though I am kind to animals, do not drop litter and care about the environment,

I am too risky.

Even though I always say please, never push old ladies off bikes and wouldn’t even consider waving an umbrella at an elk in a threatening manner,

I am too risky.

It is so frustrating.

You see, although the house we are in is lovely, it is too small.  Seriously, it is tiny.  Misses E and M have space for a bed and a wardrobe in their rooms, but nowhere to play.  So M plays on the landing.  This means either she has to trash her beautifully set up Barbie, Monster High, Sylvanian Family or Lego Friends town every night before bed, or I trash it by stepping on it on my way to the loo in the middle of the night.

And, if we ever had a fire (Bob help us), then we’d probably all fall down the stairs in our bid to escape having tripped over the debris that is Miss M’s previous night’s playground.  And, well, Miss M will not be small for much longer.  I want her to be able to play happily with her toys while she still wants to play with them if you know what I mean.  But having already had to move on from one house when our landlady needed to move back in, there’s always the risk of that happening again, and moving costs a bloody fortune!
Is it wrong to want to give my girls a home that we can call our own for as long as we need or want it?

Am I asking too much?

Well apparently I bloody am.

Rant over.

That is all.