Happy Mother’s Day

Miss M made me cry today.
Look

Sighhhh, she is definitely a genius

And just in case you can’t quite make out her (only just) 7-year-old writing she says…
“Thank you for keeping me healthy. Thank you for giving me happy clothes. Thank you for keeping me well. Thank you for keeping us clean. Thank you for tears turned [...]

Octogenarian Magpie – a poem

Fluff headed, feather haired
Drawn towards the shiny things
The seqinned things
The bright things
The wouldn’t look out of place on ’strictly come dancing’ things.
The bling it sings and springs into her softly wrinkled grasp
and Grandma, an ancient mariner called to the rocks of fashion disaster, brings it round to our house.
Garish, nightmare-ish, she likes to share-ish
Or maybe [...]

Granny’s doing great

Thank you so much everyone. My Mum’s doing great and should be home tomorrow. There’ve been a few tears from Miss M not wanting to leave Granny there and worrying that Grandad will be lonely, but she has decided he should get a dog  or a rabbit so all will be well.
Today Miss E is [...]

Good vibes, thoughts and prayers needed please

My mum is having an op today. Her gall bladder will be no more and the evil stone that has decided to make a nest in her bile duct will be captured, removed and humanely destroyed.
I know it’s a pretty routine procedure, bur ack it’s my Mum and I love her, so please send good [...]

My own range of beauty products!

I am starting my own range of beauty products.
They are very special because they contain a brand new shiny ingredient. It is called ‘argibarginine’.
No other beauty product manufacturers have used ‘argibarginine’ before.
Honest.
It is new.
And not at all made up.
So that makes it special.
Indeed it has magical qualities.
If you spread it on your face you [...]

Randy Scouse Git

Around this time 4 years ago I wrote about the love I have for a certain band.
RIP Davy Jones. So sorry you’re gone.  You always came across a lovely bloke, and I think I’d have had quite a crush on you if I was a bit older (and maybe a bit shorter).
The song above [...]

Introducing my children to one of my heroes

I’ve just introduced E and M to Spike Milligan.
Not literally, as that would mean either he is a ghost and in my house, or that I have him in a box somewhere, festering, being festy.  Ick!
No, what happened is this…
M tugs my Spike Milligan children’s anthology from the double-packed bookcase on the upstairs landing, and [...]

B*gger b*gger b*llocks

This post is just a whinge really.
A whingy whiney, no fair, foot stamping, grumpy, self indulgent bleurghhh of a post.
But it’s my blog so yah boo sucks.
Because, there’s not been a pmdd post for a while has there?
But today, well, it feels like it might be back.
The thing is, it’s been a mad few weeks [...]

Bag love – a Fuel your Fashion Online review

This face is cute.

I mean, how could you not love it?
But stick it on a bag…

And it becomes something more.
In fact, it has moved me to rhyme.
(Clears throat)
Twit Twoooooo
Oh beauteous shopper I love you I do
All shiny and smart and so splendidly new
A treat for a Mummy who has a new job
with a face and [...]

Babysitting Granny and Jamie Oliver

I have lost this post 4 times now.
My parents’ laptop is a big pile of raggedly old pants.
so
Mum = ill = gallstones = ouch
Dad = out so me = Grannysitting
but tonight me = out for my birthday with Lu and Nic (Dez, Nats and Ju would perfect the line up) at Jamie Oliver’s Italian in Notts
Oh [...]