Tonight and tomorrow night we are communing with nature in the Peak District.  Surrounded by cows, sheep, pigs and a very lovely shire horse, Misses E, M and myself are so far having a fab time. 
I’m hoping the farm machinery will stop at  some point in the next hour or so, but in the mean time, my monkeys are asleep, and I have wine and chocolate and a good book.

Perfect.

Not because my two little girls were away with their Daddy.  That’s fine; good even, because it makes me realise how much he must miss them a lot of the time – and I don’t often think about that.  It’s a year and a half since Mr B and I separated and I think we’re doing ok and I’m so glad that our little girls are happy with both of us.  I miss them, I worry, but I trust Mr B because I know he loves them as much as I do.  So no trauma there then.

And not because while camping in the lovely village of Much Wenlock, a friend and I were in an accident that resulted in my mopping up a bloodied old lady and then being whisked to hospital on a spinal board, my first ever experience in an ambulance?. (Thanks lovely paramedics, you were all so nice and you made me laugh, even though it hurt a bit.)   All is well.  Myself and my friend both have whiplash and both cars – ours and the one that lodged itself under our bumper, will likely be written off, but we coped, we weren’t badly hurt and believe it or not we still all had a good holiday even though a blow up bed is not ideal in these situations.

And not even because on the third day of our holiday I checked my bank account and found it had been emptied by evil, lazy ,scheming fraudsters.  (Selfish gits.)  I was upset, worried, angry, but thanks to the lovely folks at my bank and the lovely people I was with, even this only slighty touched on trauma.

So what was it that tipped me over the edge I hear you ask?

Was I narrowly missed by a low flying martian who’d taken a wrong turn at Saturn when attempting to get to Cleethorpes?

Did a rabid goldfish look at me funny and cause me to trip over my own shadow?

Did my leg fall off?

No.

It was this…

This time next year my little girl will be going to secondary school.  Oh my Bob, where the hell did the time go?  She’s only 10.  She still fits on my knee.  She climbs inside cardboard boxes, loves playing on the monkey bars and still takes her teddy whenever she stays away from home.  How can she be a year away from secondary school?

I know this will be a year of preparation for her.  There’ll be visits, talks, open days and lots of fun activities to get her ready for this new phase in her life, but, well, who’s going to prepare me?  Because I really don’t feel ready.

Hmmmmmm.  I think one of us may have a little growing up to do, and it may not be the 10 year old.  Gulp.

Anyway it is very serious and important and fabulous and one we plan to fulfill to the best of our abilities.

It will be tough.

There may be hard times, tears, squabbles, possibly even bruises, but we will soldier on because we live to serve and all that.  We may even have to wear a really uncomfortable uniform.

Ack who am I kidding.  We’re testing toys people.  Woo hooooooo.  I mean, who could say no to the chance to receive lovely Toys R Us goodies and try them out?

So without further ado I bring you our first day as official ‘Toyologists‘.

The box arrives and two very happy little girls dive in.

We build.

A week ago I would never have imagined Misses E and M would get quite so excited over a Hot Wheels Battle Force 5 (age 4+), but they played with a friend’s Hot Wheels set just the day before so were almost giddy with joy when they saw this.  I was actually a bit scared.

Putting it together was a team effort and it was really good seeing them work everything out.  My girls don’t generally go for toys like this so I was surprised how easy they found it.  What was less easy was getting the car to do what we wanted it to do but we haven’t given up yet and it’s fun trying.  I think it’s got something to do with the angle of the ‘gravity feed ramp’, timing the drop perfectly so as to avoid the ‘jaw trap’, and making sure the G-Clamp is correctly positioned on your lovely spotty table cloth…

Sighhhh, so pretty.

The second item they tugged from the box were the Blendy Pens (aged 6+).  To be honest I wasn’t sure of these, but Miss E explained that her mate L had some and they were really cool so we went for it.

Stunning results right?  I’d like to direct you to the seahorse picture in the bottom right hand corner in particular, cough.

The idea is that you create colour blends by clicking two different Blendypens into the ‘Fusion Chamber’. The nibs touch, the colours leak into each other and you get a mixture that gradually fades back to the original colour as you shade.

While in my mind these are pretty much gimmicky felt-tips, as you can see both E and M love them.  E (10) really experimented with shading and has already decided we need more, while M (5) didn’t quite get the concept but loved colouring the textured designs included in the pack.  A couple of pieces did fall out of the fusion chambers but we pushed them back in and they seem to work ok though you’d have to keep an eye on these if you have younger kids.

Our box also included a Ben 10 Shaker Maker, a Galt Magic Science Kit, Pirate Snakes and Ladders, the ‘Logo’ board game, face paints and a cuddly giraffe, so you can expect a post involving pink painted super heroes, bubbling potions, gurning children and a traumatised Mummy who has foolishly let her 5 and 10 year old loose on her face.  It won’t be pretty.

In the mean time I would like to leave you with Miss M on the phone to her Daddy:

Miss M:  ”I’ve been playing with my new cart wheels Daddy.”
Miss E:  ”It’s hot  M.”
Miss M:  ”I mean, HOT cart wheels Daddy.”
Miss E:  ”No, HOT WHEELS M.”

Snort.  She is such a girl.

And, if you deliver a huge box of toys to the home of  a five and ten year old what do you get?

They did like the toys better though.  I promise.

Ging gang gooly gooly gooly gooly wotcha
Ging gang goo
Ging gang goo

Hmmm, I think someone may have been on the scrumpy when they wrote that one, perchance.

I however, am sat sipping tea, crunching pringles and hoping the noisy family in the tent opposite did not just hear me cursing their kid for being such a loud mouthed little git.

Misses E and M have had a week away with Daddy so I’ve been away with friends.  It’s been eventful to say the least, infact it’s been downright traumatic, but tonight is pretty perfect so I’m making the most of this calm night on a Much Wenlock hillside with good company and a pair of friendly bats.

Hope you’re all having a fab weekend too.  

People take you to places like inner city beaches and expect you to have fun.

They expect you to jump up and dance when you’re watching Johnny and the Raindrops, even though you’re quite happy to sit and strum along in a quiet way.

And you can never quite keep up with your big sister, and even though you love her very much, sometimes you’d quite like her to fall on her bottom.

There are some good things about being five though.

For instance you are still small enough for your Uncle Steve to lift you way up high.

It’s still ok to have a teddy with you and there’s always somebody who will carry it.

And best of all, if ever you come face to face with an enormous daft looking zebra, there’s always room on Mummy’s knee.

There is a 5 year old in this bed.  Honest.

It actually reminds me of a similar cuddly toy invasion post involving her sister a few years ago.

My kids are weird.

p.s.  The first commenter to point out where she is will win the tree nearest to their house.  You know the one.

My little blonde girl has been here a whole decade.

The thing is, I can’t remember, or even imagine a time when she wasn’t here.  My heart won’t let me do it.  Maybe that’s just because I’m in a soppy mood today, but whatever it is, it’s fine with me.

Miss E is the kind of kid you hope for.  She’s funny, sweet, bright, thoughtful, challenging, creative, energetic, infuriating, charming, cheeky, grumpy, giggly, cuddly, confident, vulnerable, gentle, enthusiastic, curious, steady, silly, and completely loveable and I’m so glad I got to be her Mummy.

A couple of people have warned me that ‘ten’ is the beginning of those turbulent years, you know, ‘the dark tunnel of adolescence’, but as I look at my little girl sat playing with her Webkinz in her pjs, toast and jam beside her and a big smile on her face, I don’t think we’re there just yet.  And when we do get there, well, we’ll plod along and we’ll get through.

Happy Birthday Miss E.  Hope you have a wonderful day.  We love you loads.

I mean, there was that little thing of a week of walking 84 miles for charity, AND the usual being a mummy to two kids during the school holidays and having to feed, clothe, entertain, cuddle and care for them thing.

And an eagle stole my hair dryer.

But even after all that, I realise I have been putting off giving my thoughts on the second half of my blogging hol research trip, so I’m laying it our here for you.

Discovery Cove – gorgeous, idyllic, fabulous tropical reef and aviary, all inclusive, exclusive and all that malarkey, but let’s face it, it’s really all about the dolphins right?  Soooooo…

I love the idea of swimming with dolphins.  I’m a real animal person.  Not an ‘animal person’ as in half woman half monkey, but an ‘animal’ person as in a person who likes animals.  And I suppose when I think about swimming with dolphins I have a certain scenario in my head.

i.e. Clear blue water, me looking all gorgeous and fabulous, and none-farting dolphins who sweep in from the oceans to mingle with me because they pick up a vibe that I am ‘nice’ and dolphin friendly and all that.

Don’t get me wrong, it was great to see the relationship these beautiful animals have with their keepers, and each other, but I did feel it wasn’t me they were engaging with.  So while I loved the experience, it wasn’t the dream.

Swimming with the stingrays was closer to it though.  Kneeling in a sun warmed pool with these large alien creatures gliding around just out of reach.  Then a brush against your leg, your arm, a gentle mouthing of your outreached hand.  That for me was truly magical.

I also adored my first experience of snorkeling, and if you have young children wanting to try it I can’t think of a safer more controlled way to do it.

But I hated, HATED the way you are given wetsuits by a grinning man who doesn’t even bother to speak to you but merely looks your body up and down and hands you what he thinks is appropriate.  That part was awful.  That man seriously needed some people skills, or maybe they could have a woman sorting the girls and a more ‘chatty’ bloke for the boys.  It actually made me cry which I was mortified about.

Body hang ups and impossible expectations aside, in my opinion Discovery Cove is generally an experience suited to families with older kids who can entertain themselves a little more. Otherwise I don’t think I’d you’d be able to take full advantage of the sun, the loungers and the cabana boys.  Cough.

Aquatica though.  I loved Aquatica.

From the moment we laid our towels on one of the hundreds of loungers available I was excited.  And I wanted to have my kids there.   The whole place was buzzing with energy.  The website sums it up perfectly with the words,

“Spend a dream day spinning and soaking on heart-stopping rides and slides. Try hurtling deep into an undersea world of colourful fish, then racing through exhilarating rapids.  Go from serene to extreme in waters with giant double-wave pools. Or just soak up the sun on a white sandy beach.”

It really was a dream day – possibly the cheesiest line I have ever written in my life but nevertheless true.  From the hilarity of the Taumata Racer which is as steep as it looks in this fab photo taken by Ms Taralara Cain…

..and the Whanau Way that had me cackling helplessly while at the same time rescuing my cozzie from between my butt cheeks and hoping that small children’s eyes had been shaded in time to prevent permanent damage, to the lovely floatiness of the Loggerhead Lane, I was in my element, and I know Misses E and M would be too.

Life vests and safety guidelines are aplenty, great deals are available on food, and I have no doubt  I will be taking my kids there one day.  The areas for smaller children are just as bright and fabulous as those for big kids, and the beach and lagoons are gorgeous.  I think our faces sum it up.

Having the opportunity to go to Florida was truly amazing and something I will never forget.  Yes taking my girls with me would have been perfection, but one day I will, and when I do, Busch Gardens and Aquatica will be top of my to do list, closely followed by Sea World and then Discovery Cove.  Thank you so much Sea World.  It was amazing.  You were fab hosts and one day I will return with two small people.

Useful Information:

All photos from this post were unknowingly donated by the fabulous Tara as mine were a bit pants.

Current Deals:
You can find all the information you need at Orlando Flexticket with prices for the UK.

Also SeaWorld Parks are doing a 3 for 2 park offer at the moment, see below;

3 amazing parks for the price of 2!  Book by the 15th December 2010 and you can buy a 3-Park Ticket which includes unlimited admission to SeaWorld, Aquatica and Busch Gardens for 14 consecutive days.  Adult £79 / Child (3-9 years) £72 – under 3s go free.

I feel, rather than notice her stare, and look up to be met by slightly glazed eyes that are looking through me rather than at me.

Then she speaks.

Miss M:  “Mummy, it’s hard being a fish.”

I nod, expecting some kind of elaboration, but she just walks away.

I love that kid. 

The ground beneath us is sun dried, paddling pool drenched and rabbit nibbled, yet I couldn’t imagine anywhere I’d rather be with my two little girls right now.

Miss M curls onto her knees, wiggles a little, then looks from her sister to me, frowning slightly while a small smile creeps across her face.

Miss M:  ”Can you smell onions?”

Me:  ”No babe.”

Miss M:  ”Well it’s me.”

I think for a moment about what food has passed my 5 year old’s lips today.  There have been no onions.  Miss M elaborates…

Miss M:  ”It’s my bottom.”

You’re not surprised right?  I mean, another ‘fart’ moment with my youngest child is let’s face it, no biggy, when the majority of the last 3 or 4 years of her life have been pretty much highlighted by the word “trump”; but to be honest on this occasion it’s what came out of her sister’s mouth that is truly shocking.

Miss E:  ”Oh my Bob Mum.  She smells of Great Yarmouth.”

I have no idea