Unlike her wide-mouthed-frog of a mother and cheesy grinning little sis, she has the small sweet mouth of a lady.

In a competition where you have to shove a handful of marshmallows, a glut of pickled onions or several large socks into your gob, she would lose.

If she had to put out a small handbag fire by squirting water from her smiler, alas it would burn.

If you were firing maltesers at her chops your aim would need to be fabulous.

Tomorrow Miss E will be having two teeth out and a transpalatal arch fitted.

She is scared.

Over the last 2 weeks she’s had spacers squeezed between her teeth to make room for metal bands to be fixed round two of her molars, and then the TPA will be added for future braces.  As she lies in the dentist’s chair her feet shake, her face pales and I mouth ‘you’re ok’ at her and try to smile.  But really I am filled with dread and just praying for it to be over quick as she gags and shakes.

Help!

Any ideas how I can get her to feel calmer while she is being pulled about?  I think it’s a lack of control thing.  This look of horror passes over her face and she goes completely white and I know this week will be worse than the last two as there will be a needle and blood and cement.

Any advice would be great.

Photo credit and edited at Picnik (what will I do witout you picnik?  Boo hoo)

Sophisticated

Still really quite small

Sometimes shy of scary scarecrows

Sunny

Snuggly

Spirited

Sweet, smily, special, super SEVEN

Happy Birthday my darling.

Can’t believe you’re 7 today.

Love you so much babe

xxxxxxx

Sandy the gerbil has gone to join his brother Jack (RIP Dec 2011) in the great gerbilarium in the sky.

I like to think of them running around with our previously deceased gerbils Flora and Laura. Or even -as we’re talking heaven- hopping around with Myron our daft old moggy or Jazz the horsedog (I’ll let a 2-year-old Miss M explain.  Scan down to the portrait).  Because if it’s heaven then everyone gets on right?  We all evolve into higher beings. Just floaty souls rather than see-through versions of ourselves.   Otherwise I can’t imagine a floaty cat not wanting to chase a floaty gerbil.  And that would be a cat’s idea of heaven would it not?

Though I suppose if that was the case gerbils could have little floaty rocket packs and whizz away from the cats before they are grabbed by the floaty tail and dangled, yo-yo like, from a floaty paw.

Now how cool would that be?

NB:  Cat’s would definitely not be able to wish themselves a bigger rocket pack or a huowge floaty net to catch the flying floaty gerbils as I reckon in heaven you only get what you might have wished/hoped for/deserved in life.  So, gerbils would get to fly, cats would get to  do handstands and I would get to be thin and svelte-like and have lovely thick not-falling-out floaty hair.

Hmmm, maybe I should go with the more embodied than disembodied version of heaven….

…nahhhh, I prefer the floaty soul version.  Then maybe I would actually get to talk to my pets.

Oh and the NEW PETS part of this post?

We had NITS.

When I started this blog the big was the size of the small one. E was getting on for 6 and M was 2.  Now they are 11 and almost 7 and  they got so big.

According to Miss M, E is currently ‘over boobs’ and M is ‘under boobs’ (mine), but that way of charting growth will soon be impossible unless I have a surgery and they raise my bosoms up somewhere around my ears.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, they could use some of my bum fat right?

But in a good way.

Hooraaaaaay

There have been no break ups

No collapsed ceilings

No sudden need to find a new home

Infact, January is actually plodding along quite happily, and dare I say it, so are we.

Shhhhhhh though.  Don’t say it out loud, because then there could be jinxing.

A huowge rancid ham might fall from the sky and break our  car.

Sea urchins might invade our house causing it to be declared a National Wildlife Sanctuary and we will only be allowed to reside here if we wear tin foil underpants and Edd the Duck T Shirts.

(Yes I really found a picture of some tinfoil underpants.  You could so wear these.)

OR someone will hijack our rabbits and drive them all the way to Skeggy.

Tsk.

So, Beaufoixs = good.

Miss E = happy smiling child.

Miss M = happy smiling soon to be 7-year-old child.

Mummy = heavier but happier, still hormone free, hot flushes aplenty, but hopeful.

Rabbits = furry

Gerbil = noisy

Granny = Happy Birthday

Car = chuggy

2012 = GOOD

How is your 2012?

Photo credit

P.S

We haven’t disappeared.
We’re having Christmas.

It’s lovely.

We did these the other day

They were so easy

Some were used to decorate Daddy’s Christmas cake prezzie from E and M

Some went to Granny’s for Christmas Day

And some we hung on the tree

They look fab don’t they?

And the ones on the tree still smell amazing a week on.

They taste fab too although the tree ones aren’t edible after the first day.

Schwartz’s Celebration biccie recipe is below.  We’ll definitely be making them again.

Happy Christmas

I’d love to say these are they, because let’s face it they’re kind of fab, and they’d make my ankles look gorg and my legs look all long and gazelle-like… but if I’m honest they’re more like these.

Flat.  Comfy. Chunky.  Great for jumping up and down in, and lots of ankle support. Nice.

The lovely Ms Jarvis over at The Mum Blog has tagged me.  Not in an ASBO way, but in a ‘pick a tune any tune way’ which I kind of like.

Having already baggsed the fabulous Fairy Tale of New York as her top Yuletide shanty, it’s left me in a bit of a dilemma.

Do I go rock?

Or do I go cheese?

Or do I go cheesy rock??

Ready?

Ho ho hooooo yes.

Mr Holder, I salute you.

It’s Chriiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassss

P.S.  I nearly chose this one, just because it made me laugh so much.  I love The Killers, I adore Brandon Flowers, but oh my Bob what were they thinking, hee hee.

P.P.S.  I tag Potty Mummy, Honest Mum and Insomniac Mummy Ellie, and anyone else who wants to play along.

HAPPY CHRISTMAAAAAAAAS XXX

Photo credits:

Posh shoes

Docs

Two little monkeys went shopping one day…

They stopped in at Clarks to view the display

Miss M fell in love with these snuggle pies straight away and looked no further because that’s what 6-year-olds do #stubbornasamule.  We’d seen them on the website and they were even nicer in real life.

Yes my kid has cat ears on

The 11 year-old was looking for a slightly more sophisticated look

..and we though we had it, but then she changed her mind when she saw these snuggle funs

..because you can fold the tops over or keep ‘em up if it’s a bit chilly, as you can see by my arty shot below where Miss E is modelling hers with a nice pair of baggy school trousers – tres chic.

Miss M’s look much cooler with her leggings and a looooong jumper, but still pretty cute I think.  :D

What can I say?  Clarks, I love you.

Always have, always will

NB  Unless you run over my hamster or anything

PS  Thank you Clarks for the gorgeous boots.  They’ve lasted really well so far and still look as good as new 2 months on.