So I was thinking, how can I pass some of the fun along to my fabulous blog buddies? Then I thought, ahhh, I will point them in the direction of my gorgeous hubby’s Enormous bandmate, Napoleon Fantastic who has done a couple of fabulous acoustic podcasts to introduce their first album due for release on Big Arena Records, entitled ‘Electric Baby Grand’.

There’s also an opportunity to win a free iPhone.

Yes, I said iPhone!!

Go visit, you won’t be sorry and Mr B will be all happy and get warm fuzzy feelings to keep him cosy while I’m away.

There’s also an amazing giveaway at Upstart Blogger which is written by the fabulous Ashley Morgan who has done all my blog designs and is supporting me as I take the step into pro-blogging.

So, if you’d like to be in with the chance of winning a MacBook Air, or one of five iPhones, then check that one out too.

I am gutted as I’m sure I won’t be able to enter as it would look very iffy if I won.

So…so.. beautiful, snuffle, sob.

Oh, and one last thing.

I took this picture the other night. Isn’t it weird yet kind of cool?

It was about 6 O’clock and the sky was full of rain yet the sun was still burning away underneath, muted orange by the heavy covering of dark clouds.

You can just about see a second rainbow that formed above the first, maybe some kind of reflection??

I love how the rainbow separates the sky with two distinct shades of blue either side.

Ain’t nature grand, sighhhh.

LATE ADDITION

It’s one year today since little Madeleine McCann disappeared. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts today. We have to remember that little face.

Generally it’s something slightly geeky or cheesy that you might not really need, such as ‘How to Lasso an Eel’, or ‘How to shave the word “paprika” onto the back of a skunk’.

But todays made me click on it.

It MADE me.

No it wasn’t the “How to make a Baby Romper from a T Shirt.”, though obviously if you ever had too many T shirts and not enough baby rompers that would be good…

It was ‘How to Survive a riot.”

You see, I thought the answer was simple.

Random person: “How do you survive a riot Ms Beaufoix?”
Me: “I stay away from it.”

But no, there is more, broken down into these points, to which I have added my own explanations where necessary;

• Be prepared. (Pack sandwiches and a cagool.)
• Remain calm. (Remain calm.)
• Get inside and stay inside. (Unless you just need to pop to the shop for something.)
• Stay on the sidelines. (Erm, derrrr.)
• Avoid being hit by riot control chemicals. (Erm, derrrr.)
• Move away from the riot. (Erm, derrrr.)
• Think of crowd movement as like currents in the ocean. (Erm??)
• Avoid major roads. (They’ll probably be blocked by roadworks.)
• Avoid public transportation. (You could be hours standing at a bus stop because of the road works and the wall of angry people.)
• Don’t stop your car. (Especially to ask for directions.)
• Get to a safe place and stay put. (Isn’t that the same as number 3. And, erm, derrr.)

So, with these fabulous guidelines in mind I have developed my own set of ‘How to’s for your education and enjoyment.

How to not get your head stuck in the armpit of a rabid hamster.

• Be prepared.
• Remain calm.
• Do not get inside or stay inside your hamsters cage.
• Move away from the hamster.
• Do not buy a hamster.
• Do not introduce your hamster to a rabid bat.
• Keep your hamster away from any animal named Cujo.
• Do not place your head in the vicinity of a hamster’s armpit.
• That means all four of it’s armpits.
• Especially if it is foaming at the mouth.
• Think of hamster movement as like the currants in a toasted teacake.

Oh, and a visual aid…

God I should teach. Sighhhhh.

Now, remember how I told you about the lovely Pay it forward game? I received a lovely gift from Hootin’ Anni’s who received a lovely gift from Mary, and now three lucky people will receive a lovely gift from me and will in turn pass on three lovely gifts to three other people on their own blogs and so on.

Well we wrote down the names of everyone who left a comment, stuck em in Miss E’s Teddy Bear’s Hat (Yup there were that many), and tonight Miss E, her friend Daisy and Miss M all drew out a name.

And the Pay it Forward gift recipients will be………..

So if Momo, Corey and Lee are all still up for it then please email me your postal addresses to jo@jobeaufoix.com so I can send a little gift on to you. If you can’t do it, don’t worry, just email me and I’ll pick another name.

Thanks for everyone who commented, and who knows, if you follow these ladies blogs and volunteer for their pay it forwards then you might get a chance next time.

Miss E was a child who never slept in the day, and in the evenings she would start screaming at 11pm and stop at 1am. We suffered a full 11 months of colic. They tell you 6 weeks, but lucky us we got more. I say we, because although it was Miss E who was in pain and needed the cuddles, the walking, the jiggling and the constant movement, it was Mr B and I who suffered the exhaustion, the desperation and the horror that colic can be.

Lucky for this kid she was a happy baby in the day, otherwise I might have given up.

The rule in our house at that time was, ‘whoever needs the car gets the sleep’ as we were both studying in Nottingham. Luckily Mr B’s work was in walking distance so he could get there, zombie like, without fear of crashing into a poor unsuspecting bollard, or ending up in the middle of one of the enormous roundabouts that dotted their way along the ring road, but if either one of us was at Uni, we got the sleep.

I was the first in my immediate family to have a child, and none of my friends were ready to reproduce. My amazing friend Ju was down the road, but she worked full time and had her own little boy, and besides, it wasn’t fair to call her up in the middle of the night, which is generally when we were in dire need of support, so at times I felt pretty isolated.

Don’t get me wrong, there were websites I could look at to gather information, but most of this seemed impersonal and quite often made me feel worse as my child didn’t fit. There was no answer.

Because of my studies I was rarely able to attend playgroups and meet new mums, and I was kind of shy, so I plodded on, struggling, battling and hoping.

It is only recently that a site came to my attention that would have been the answer to my prayers (And I was definitely at the prayers stage.)

Gurgle.com

Go on, click, it’s fantastic.

I know there are a ton of other parenting sites out there, but this one is so much more.

gurgle.com is a social networking site for parents, so not only is it spilling over with information and advice for new parents, but it also enables them to meet and chat online.

“As a member of gurgle you can now ask questions and have other members and our resident experts answer them. ”

Oh my Bob I could have done with that.

In the wee small hours of the morning, when Miss E was screaming in my ear as I bounced her up and down on my knee or over my shoulder it would have been so good to have somewhere to go where other fraught parents, who were also jiggling their screaming child on their knee, were there for me to chat to, and whinge to and cry with.

The thought that I could have turned on my pc and immediately made human contact would have quite probably changed my life. I mean, it’s all well and good to have information at your finger tips, but information can’t tell you to,

“Put your baby down, go downstairs and get yourself a cup of tea and a chocolate hobnob.”

A fact page can’t say,

“Oh my bob my child is doing the exact same thing. Shall we just throw them out the window, tee hee .”

And let’s face it, when it’s 3am and you’ve still not managed to take both feet off the floor and climb into bed, then you don’t necessarily want facts, you want sympathy, empathy, humour, hope.

I have loved looking through this site, even though Miss E is now 7 and Miss M 3, and although gurgle.com is mainly aimed at those trying to become pregnant and then with children up to aged 36 months it brought back wonderful memories watching the videos on every subject you can imagine, flicking through the galleries of pictures, and reading through the forum.

In short, gurgle.com is fantastic and I would recommend it to any parent, grandparent, Auntie, Uncle, or parent to be. Over 40000 members can’t be wrong.

I only hope they’ll be bringing a site out for parents with children over 36 months.

Maybe they could call it ’strangle.com.’

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A little while ago, when I was doing the Fun Monday rounds, I happened upon this fab idea at Hootin’ Anni’s and volunteered to take part, and lucky for me I was accepted. It originally came from Mary at Mary’s Writing Nook, and Anni was one of her recipients.

The idea is, I pick out the names of three volunteers from a hat, who would like to receive a small gift from me, by snail mail, and who in turn will pass on three gifts to three other people on their own blogs. It’s all about spreading a little lurve and friendship around the blogosphere, and who doesn’t like prezzies right?

I received my lovely gift on Saturday,

Firstly this cute windchime that is now hanging on the holly tree in my garden. Miss M thinks it is wonderful and has bashed it a few times already to hear it tinkling. Lovely thanks Anni.

Then there is this adorable bookmark. It is at this moment cosied up inside Sue Townsend’s Queen Camilla, my current read. My mum will be so relieved as she hates that I bend pages over in books, but I don’t mind as I like my books to look read and well loved. (I’m not so fond of the dropped in the bath look that often occurs though. Bugger.)

And lastly these little crocheted mats. I have in my head that they’re for an old fashioned china tea service, one for the pot, four for cups, but as I’m a mug and teabag woman I will be using them as rests for a couple of trinket boxes that used to be my Gran’s that live on my bedroom window sill. I don’t know if you actually made these Anni, I have a feeling you might have done, but thank you.

Thank you so much.

Miss E was also very excited that a parcel had arrived that came from Texas and informed me that that was where cowboys came from, and where they filmed westerns.

Thanks Anni. You’re a star.

So, who wants to play?

If you’d like to enter, and are willing to pass a gift along to three others in turn, please comment below and I will draw your names out of a hat, quite possibly this one…

And three lucky people will be sent a prezzie. Doesn’t that just warm your cockles?

Anyone can enter, even if you’ve never commented before, in fact, I’d love a few of you lurkers, newbies and one offs to enter, as well as all my yummy blog buddies. The more the merrier.

Lets spread the love babies.
P.S. Sorry for all the folks waiting on gifts from me. I would blame the post but that would be a lie. I know, I’ll blame the gerbil. You’re prizes are not there yet as our gerbil ate the postman. Sorry.

As I said yesterday, Five Minutes For Mom are hosting their annual Blog Party which they say,

“is a fantastic opportunity to introduce your blog to a bunch of new people and to find new blogs that you will want to read regularly.

As well, The Ultimate Blog Party features tons of prizes. The prize list is constantly growing – check it out! Pamela, from Happy Panda, is coordinating the prizes and will draw the winners.”

So, welcome to my blog pyjama party.

I am Jo Beaufoix, 33 year old mum to Miss E (7) and Miss M (3). I am an aspiring writer, and a perspiring jogger, and I’ve been blogging for 10 months. I write about stuff most of us parents or ladies are interested in, such as kids, chocolate, alcohol, slugs and mad stuff that makes me laugh, cry, or feel a bit sick. Now Miss M is potty trained their will probably be less poo mentioned on my site, but well, to be honest I’m not making any promises. Welcome.

As you can see I am suitably attired, but if you’re not in PJs that’s fine because it’s probably still day time where you are right?

(To be honest, it’s quite possibly daytime where I am too, but I’m in my PJs because it’s my party ok?)

Glad we got that sorted.

Now as you can see, I’ve hired a very snazzy loft apartment for our bash, so don’t worry about spilling anything on the upholstery or breaking any of the nice designer ornaments, because they’re not mine, and if they were, you’re not really here anyway so I will only have myself to blame if anything gets smashed.

Should you choose to go a little crazy while attending this party, remember the above fact, as any mess you make you’ll have to clear up.

Now, obviously the first thing you need to think about when hosting a party is the food and drink.
I bet some of you are a little worried. I mean, you might be thinking, Pyjama Party = Milk and Cookies.
Well, I do have milk and cookies, but I also have anything you can find in your own fridge, in fact, if you go and look in your fridge you will get an idea of the choice you have. Go on have a peep, I suggest chocolate, icecream, wine, beer, vodka, a nice cuppa, or anything else that floats your boat.

Of course if you were all really here, the food would look like this;

That’s what we’re having. I just knocked it up while I had a spare couple of minutes earlier.

Oh, and for pudding/dessert…

cake, and… cake.

Now, I have guests.
I am so grateful that I have guests, because I gave you very little warning, but nevertheless, some of you are here in Meez form.

First we have lovely Rosie, who dressed beautifully for the occassion…

And then the original Queen of Meez, Picklesmum who’s popped over for a boogie and some canapes. Yay,thanks Picklesmum.

And last but not least, all the way from the US, we have the gorgeous and gamine Leendaluu who will be entertaining us later with a clog dance and a nice rendition of ‘Girls just wanna have fun’. I’m so glad she brought her gorgeous cat too. (Ta lovely Lee, so glad you could make it. x)

Oh, and heeeeeeeeere’s Holly.

She looks tiny because she is far far away as this is just such a huge party.  I’m doing a little dance right now because Holly is here and I heart her soooo much.  And look, her shoes match her hair, she always does that, even when she is wearing fluffy pink slippers.   She has talent.

Now, I promised competitions.

So without further ado, I bring you the slipper competition, because I asked for pics of your slippers if you remember. Specifically your cutest or funniest slippers. I am sooooo excited, I bet you are too. Especially if you have a slipper fetish. And people do have such things you know, because I , erm, checked, and I learned so much, but one of the most interesting things I learned was that David Beckham has a bit of a slipper fetish, and may even be designing his own with Snoop Dog. Isn’t that nice??

Anyway, here are the entrants,

I love this shot Mielikki, because if you squint a little, it’s like you’re actually wearing them. (You meaning me, because you are actually wearing them.)

And I love that you sent this shot too as it means I can say that you got completely legless at my party. (That means drunk if you’re not sure.)

And Rosie sent her whole wardrobe…

Aren’t they gorgeous?

I’m assuming the boots are for winter, the ruby ones are for erm, when she wants to get home, the fish ones are for fishing in, the woollen ones are for hiking and the pinky fluffy monstrosities girlie ones are for when she’s trying to pull the milkman.

And I know I said I’d let Misses E and M choose, but I thought I’d get your input too because I love you, so cast your votes people, because the winner gets the fab prize of a fabulous book, in fact, this book.

Of course, if a bloke wins I will get the boys version specially for you as I am nice, but as no men have actually entered yet I think it will be a victory for the ladeeeeez.

It was one of those mornings I think most parents experience, and every parent dreads.

It was the crying.

The crying at the Nursery door.

The crying, and the clinging to the leg, and the teacher prising your child away from you, type of morning.

And then the having to walk away from the crying.

And I know she ‘probably’ stopped when I was out of sight, or when the door closed behind me.

I know she was ‘probably’ smiling again when she hung up her coat, or painted, or drew, or played in the home corner.

But all I can think of is the crying, and the uncertainty that hangs around the word ‘probably’ and pokes at you and prods at you and niggles at the base of your spine when you’re not looking.

I get home I wash up, I make a cup of tea.

The I go outside with my camera, inspired by Corey to take pictures of the icey world that awaits me, and to take my mind off Miss M’s sad little face, her beseeching eyes, her sorrowful sobbing.

And OK, it’s fun.
Just a little bit fun, right?

First I take a picture of what happens when only a few days ago it was sunny and you let your kids play out and don’t remind them to put stuff away…

Brrrr, that seat looks cold.

Then I notice the spiders in my garden have gone a little weird with the cold weather. Either that, or this is what you get after a spider party. Indiscriminate gang web building.

Ahhh that’s better.

Then I snap this, erm, erm, ok, I have no idea what this bush is, but it smells gorgeous in the summer, very herby, and it looks so healthy and green and frosted. Sighhh.

And the calm thoughts come as I click, and the ice crunches pleasantly under my feet, and I snap away at my peaceful garden.

Then I come inside and I play with photo effects on my Picasa and I feel even calmer.
I make pretty things…

Well I think they’re pretty anyway.
And even things I would hang on my wall…

And the happy thoughts keep coming.

Not the thoughts about my little girl sat crying in a corner, her little nose running, her face red and blotchy…

…like the leaves on this bush.

No, no, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Ahhh that’s better. This is my laughing Buddha. If you rub his belly every day he is meant to bring you wealth, good luck, and prosperity. I’m sure when my family bought him for us, they said something about rubbing his little frosty balls too, but I can’t remember what it was.

I tried to do a search on it, but well, some of the stuff I found was a bit iffy. In fact, apparently, ‘rubbing Buddhas tummy’ is a well known euphemism for something men do, you know, by themselves. Did any one else know that? I didn’t know that. Anyway, my laughing Buddha has nothing to do with such things, he’s just lovely, so I’m feeling much better.

Then my dad arrives and we go pick Miss M up, and she is smiling. She has painted me a picture of some number 5s,

And all is right with the world.

Oh, and Miss E, who was having a crisis of confidence last week, has volunteered to read a prayer out at school mass. So I will be needing hankies and something for my nerves on Thursday morning. I can’t wait.
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One more thing, the fabulous Hootin’ Anni is running a competition at her place. Go and have a look, it’s a really cool idea. It’s all to do with friends, and gifts and spreading the lurve.

Even if I’m not the lucky winner, I’m going to do something on this anyway as I really like it.
Only two people have entered at the minute, so go over and put your name down. That’s pretty much all you have to do, the winner is decided by pulling names from a hat.

Maybe even this hat.

Today’s Fun Monday is brought to us by lovely Sayre who says,

Every day as I go to work, I see things around me that make me laugh. Usually these are in the forms of signs. So take your camera with you as you go about your business and take a picture of the things that make you laugh along the way, (but it doesn’t necessarily HAVE to be a sign).

OK, I just got my camera back from the repair shop. It’s all better, so I thought I’d have a go, but, well, to be honest, the stuff I found wasn’t the best.

Are you ready??

On the way back from Mr B’s mum’s house, we spot the Burglar Alarm shop that looks, well, alarming…

Then we stop at the cross roads and I notice something a little odd…
These are the best pictures I could get before the lights changed, but you get the general idea right?

..note I said odd, not interesting, although if you are a visitor to the fair town of Mansfieldshire, and happen to be accosted by a couple of vagabonds who relieve you of your handbag/wallet/car, you would probably find this signage system very, erm, interesting.

In fact, it would probably make you swear a little.

And finally, something I saw today that made me laugh?

A small, shivering child, who refused to wear her hat or gloves, demanded an ice lolly, then complained that it was cold.

Derr?

I have to share one more thing with you all then I’m done ok?

Remember how yesterday I said this…

NEWS FLASH

I just blog hopped over to HP’s site and saw her fab piece on providing a laptop for her own kids, and another child.

HP wrote:
“In a bid to be both good for someone else and for ourselves, I took part in the buy one give one promotion by the people of One Laptop Per Child. By buying two laptops, one was gifted to a needy child and the other sent to me. My plan was to give my children their own computer so that our desktop and laptop weren’t monopolized by them playing educational software when their dad and I wanted to write, blog, or (wait, there’s not “or”).”

Well, I, that’s me, Jo, I got my dates confused, possibly due to it being after midnight when I wrote yesterday’s post, or due to the wine, or due to my being a numbskull, but, the important bit is, HP has a laptop to give away as her kids don’t want theirs, and she is looking for a good home in the US somewhere.

This is what you have to do;

Write HP an email with the subject “Laptop Desired” describing who wants this computer and why. Do it in 500 words or less. Hp and her husband will choose the top 5. Then Hp will post those entries, and readers can choose who gets this gem of a laptop. The contest is for anyone. You can write on behalf a charity or another person. You must only make a compelling case as to why it is deserved. HP’s email is hpsarabethATgmailDOTcom. The deadline is 11:59 PM EDT on March 15th.

Click on Hp’s link, or the One Laptop Per Child link to find out more about this brilliant idea.

And get those entries in before March 15th.

Thanks HP

Now go see Sayre and catch up on all the other Fun Monday folks. You’ll be glad you did.